| Pete's Page |
Current Statistics: (precise values may vary over time...) - Name: Peter Dominic Montalbano ("Montalbano" is Italian for "White Mountain"... aaaw yeah) - Age: 20 - Height: More or less average (but ask me about my thickness baby... wooo!) - Weight: 70910 grams (a street value of over $3 billion... any crack dealers dream come true!) - Hat Size: 7.5 - Most Striking Physical Charactersics: White man's afro / Flat feet / Extremely hairy ass / Stupid grin - Hometown: SI, NY 10301 (Shaolin beeotch, home o' da Wu Tang Clan) - Weapon of Choice: Bass Guitar / Smoker's Lung - Favorite Beer: Hefeweizen - Personal Quote: "You guys aren't really my friends until you've seen my balls." Artists / Albums of the Moment: - Kenna / New Sacred Cow - Snoop Doggy Dogg / Doggystyle - we should run. / we should run. - Samite / Stars To Share Pete's Schizophrenic Crack Pipe Ramblings FUNNY DIALOGUES: The following dialogue occurred on the evening of January 19, 2002: Random Chick at Party: Hey man, is that a Lord of the Rings cup from Burger King you're holding? Me: Yes. R C at P: That's kinda gay ya know. Me: You're right! I'm holding a Lord of the Rings cup, so clearly I love cock. But I can be straight again... what do ya say? Think you can change me back? Fuck me baby! Call me Frodo!!! R C at P: [A look of disgust shoots across her face. Complete and utter silence ensues.] This dialogue occurred at 3:05PM on June 18, 2002, between myself and my 58 year old neighbor, Bill: Me: Hey Bill, how's it goin'? Bill: Great. I'm going out and trying to get laid. Oh hey listen, this chick I'm dating has a gorgeous 19 year old daughter who'd be perfect for you. Want me to set you guys up? Me: Haha, thanks but no thanks Bill. I have a girlfriend. Bill: Aw, oh well, that's too bad. You just stick with me Pete. I'll get you more pussy than if you were hangin' around with Frank Sinatra. HaHAAA!! Me: You're the man Bill. You're the man. Fin. |