CH 15

“Sarah I’m sorry I woke you up.” Nik said groggily. “You didn’t. Now answer my question, who’s Gia? You were moaning her Name Nikolas, who is she?” Sarah asked, her arms crossed over her chest. Nikolas looked away from her. Memories from his dream invaded him. Last night was so special but it left him lonely and desperate to be with Gia. He decided to tell Sarah the truth. He turned to look at her, his chin resting on his fists. “Gia is someone I dream about.” He said. Sarah huffed. “You’re cheating on me?” She asked. “No not really, well kind of, not technically.” Nik said. “What do you mean not technically?” She asked angrily. Nik sighed. “I’ve been dreaming about this woman for a couple of months now.” Nik said. “Who is she?” Sarah asked. “I’ve never met her but her name is Gia.” Nik explained. Sarah shook her head in confusion. “If you’ve never met her then how do you know her name?” She asked. “She told me. In my dream.” He said. “So is it always the same dream?” Sarah asked as she sat up straighter to look at him. “No it’s not. Every one is different.” He answered. “And it’s always the same woman?” Sarah asked. Nik nodded softly. Sarah was silent for a while; taking some time to absorb what her boyfriend had just told her. “I think you should see Dr Collin’s about this.” She suddenly declared. Nikolas was taken aback. “Why?” He asked. “Because a lot of times dreams are derived from things that are happening in your real life. You could be having them because of stress or a fear of something. I just really think that it would help if you had a professional help you sort this out.” Sarah said. Nikolas shook his head. “No, I don’t think it will help at all. Look, there’s more that I have to tell you. Gia’s real and I need to find her. I just feel it in my soul that I have to go to her.” Nik said. Sarah suddenly pulled back the covers and shot out of bed. “Nikolas that’s crazy! You think this woman is real?” She asked incredulously. “I know that she’s real and I think she’s having the same dreams as me.” Nik said. Sarah shook her head angrily. “This is crazy Nikolas and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my boyfriend push me away because of some fantasy woman! I want you to see Dr Collin’s tomorrow.” She said sternly. Nikolas looked away. “Fine.” He breathed. He watched her disappear into the bathroom and then he lay back down, his head resting comfortably in the support of his intertwined fingers. He fought back tears as he lay there. He could still feel the magical presence of Gia’s touch, the softness of her skin, the sound of her voice. He could almost smell her still, the scent that was so sweet and uniquely hers. This was driving me him mad. She seemed so real, but what if she wasn’t? Maybe professional help is what he needed.

~2 hours later~

“Nikolas why are you going to see Dr Collins?” Lucky asked as he walked with Nikolas out of his office. “To seek professional help, why do you think?” Nik asked. Lucky frowned at his brother. “But you’re not crazy. Hey you never told me about the last dream you had.” Lucky said. Nikolas sighed. “It doesn’t matter.” He said. “I think it does Nikolas. I can tell, this last one really got to you.” Lucky said. Nikolas stopped walking and turned to his brother. “I made love to her.” He said simply. Lucky couldn’t hide his shock, and Nikolas looked away at his animated expression. “You did? Was it good?” Lucky asked. Nikolas broke his serious mood by laughing at his brother’s question. “It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It was amazing.” He said softly, throwing her hands up in surrender. Lucky smiled, in aw of the look on his brother’s face. “Well that’s great.” He said. Nikolas shook his head sadly. “No it’s not Lucky.” He said deflated. “I don’t get it, why not?” Lucky asked. “Because I’m sick of it! Do you know how it feels to finally meet the perfect woman for you, your soul mate, and not be able to be with her? It’s killing me Lucky! Last night made me realize how special she is. I’m in love with her and I can’t have her.” Nikolas said on the verge of tears. “We’ll find her Nikolas.” He said. “No, we won’t ever find her because she’s not real. I need to stop dreaming about her because she’s not real!” Nik exclaimed. “You don’t really believe that do you?” Lucky asked. “I have to. If she’s not real then I know that I can’t be with her and I can just move on with my life. If she is then I have to find her. It’s easier this way Lucky.” Nik said. “Well you can keep telling yourself that brother but I would hate to think that the perfect woman for you is out there somewhere waiting for you and you die without ever meeting her. I just think that you would always regret not finding her.” Lucky said. “But I have a woman in my life right now who loves me more than anything and wants to marry me. Is it really fair to her to not be with her just because I have dreams about a woman who may not even be real? Maybe I should just forget about finding Gia and focus on being with Sarah?” Nik said. “Well what ever you do, make sure you’ve thought it through before you do it. You don’t want to regret anything later on. So are you coming to the engagement party tonight?” Lucky asked. “You know I’ll be there Lucky. Tell Elizabeth that Sarah and I will be bringing pie OK?” Nik said. Lucky smiled. “You know maybe you not dreaming about Gia anymore will be a good thing. You’ve been so distant from the family lately that it will be nice to have the old Nikolas back.” He said. “Yeah.” Nik said softly, getting a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Nikolas had been to psychiatrists before so he figured that he knew what to expect. As he finished his story, telling the Dr about all of his dreams and every detail of them, he waited for some kind of answer. He wasn’t really expecting one, since the times in the past that he had gone through this, the Dr’s rarely gave him any useful advice, they only listened. But he was desperate to find an answer to his question. He was surprised when Dr Collin’s sat up straighter in his chair and Nikolas leaned forward, anticipating what he had to say. “Nikolas tell me a little more about your relationship with Sarah.” He said. Nikolas sat back slightly; Sarah wasn’t the one who was driving him crazy right now. It was Gia and the fact that he couldn’t be with her. But he thought about the Dr’s question before he answered. “We’ve been pretty distant lately, since the dreams I’ve been confused and I guess I’ve kind of pushed her away.” He said. “And before the dreams?” Kevin questioned. “We were great. I was even thinking about asking her to marry me. But something was holding me back.” Nik said. “What do you think that something was?” Kevin asked next. Nikolas shrugged. “I guess I wondered if there was someone else out there for me. If she was the right one and if I should really be asking her to spend the rest of her life with me.” Nik said. “So Nikolas, do you think that it could be that out of fear of commitment, your mind somehow created that perfect woman for you? I think it may be that “Gia” is someone you have built as an escape from your commitment to Sarah.” Kevin said. Nikolas nodded his head slowly as he took in this information. It made sense. “So you don’t think that Gia could be real and waiting for me to find her? She just seems so real and these feelings I have for her are so strong.” Nik said. Kevin shook his head. “No I think that you’re just clinging to her even more as your relationship with Sarah gets more intense.” He said. Nikolas again nodded his head slowly; he had an aching in his heart when he thought about a dreamless night without Gia. But this all did make sense.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” Nik asked. Sarah smiled over at him. She had a little pink floral dress on and her hair was up in a neat bun. “Yes, about three times and thank you again. You know I want to thank you for going to see Kevin today, I’m glad that you feel like some things straightened out. So now maybe you’ll dream about me again.” Sarah said, she leaned in and slowly kissed him. The truth was that Nikolas never had dreams about Sarah, not one since they got together. Gia was the only woman he dreamt about and his dreams had never been so special and magical. He kissed Sarah back, telling himself that Kevin was right. Sarah may not be the perfect woman for him but she loved him, and he had to quit dreaming about Gia, who was. The door swung open and Lucky smiled at them. “Hey you two cut that out, we’re supposed to be the goopy happy couple, not you guys.” He laughed. The two blushed and stepped inside as Lucky invited them in.

Nikolas looked around the room. His mother was there, as well as Luke and Lulu. Even Emily and Zander showed up to celebrate the engagement of his brother and the love of his life, Elizabeth. He had always thought that Elizabeth was perfect for his brother. Nikolas always considered her a great friend and he truly thought that his brother was a lucky man to have found her. He looked over at Sarah, her sister. She was so much like Elizabeth, and Nikolas always thought she was beautiful. Was he a fool to let her slip through his fingers? He looked over at his brother and Elizabeth who were sitting together, whispering things to each other and touching each other casually. That’s what he wanted in a relationship, love, not magic.

“Hey Nikolas can I talk to you for a sec?” Lucky asked as he walked up to him. Nikolas nodded his head and removed his arm from around Sarah’s shoulder. He fallowed his brother into the other room. “So what did the Dr say?” Lucky asked. “He thinks that I created Gia as a way to get out of the commitment of being with Sarah. Like I somehow created her to fool myself into thinking that I need to find the perfect woman. But I realized that I don’t, I should be with Sarah. She loves me and I love her.” Nik said. “So that’s it? No more Gia?” Lucky asked. “Well the next time I dream about her I’m going to tell her that I can’t be with her any more. That I’m in love with a woman and that she needs to go away.” Nik said, a lump lodged in his throat. “Wow.” Lucky said simply. Nik nodded his head; he wondered how in the world he was going get him self to do that.

He looked over at Sarah, asleep and directly across from him in his bed. His body still feeling the effects of their lovemaking. He closed his eyes and an image of Gia flashed in his mind from the night before, the look on her face when she came. What he saw in her eyes as her orgasm swept of her, made him feel like he was the only person in the world who was graced with the pleasure of seeing that look deep inside of them. Tears silently rolled down his cheeks. He swore he saw love in her eyes as they connected with his last night. Was he just imagining that? That sinking feeling invaded him that Gia might not be real like he thought. He was going to have to break her heart tonight. A figment of his imagination or not, this was going to kill him.