CH 22

Confusion, he was lost in a state of confusion as he looked up at his mother. He knew that he could trust her, but in his heart he knew that going with her would not be good. She lifted him into her arms, a feeling that would normally be welcomed, no needed for him right now. But his heart was pounding as she hugged him to her, and walked out of the safe place he was in. The vision before him was familiar when his mother walked with him, he once thought it was the best place to be, his home. This feeling, of being held is like none other, like there’s no control over what’s happening to you. His mother opened the door and stepped inside with him. His heart began to pound as she walked towards the kitchen. An image flashed in his head, the person he loved more then anything lying on the floor, blood dripping from her eye. Jacob screamed as he clung to his mother, not wanting his feet to touch the ground. His mother spun him around and that’s when he saw him. His father was standing in front of him, and Jacob felt like he couldn’t breathe. His body trembled with fear as the man approached him.

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

“Where is she?” Phil yelled. Florence looked at him, the man she loved. “Who?” She asked, knowing that it was a dumb question. “Where the fuck is Gia?!” He yelled angrily. Florence just stood there, her heart pounding, finding comfort from the hold she had on the little boy in her arms. “I have no idea Philip, why don’t you tell me? I get a message saying to come home right away and that it’s an emergency and when I go to Carol’s she tells me that you beat the crap out of Gia. So you tell me where the hell my daughter is!” Flo yelled. “You will not talk to me like that woman!” Phil advanced on her, causing her to recoil. “How did it get like this?” Flo breathed. “It happened when you brought Gia into my life. She has no respect for you or I Florence, she’s out of control.” Phil said. “She didn’t use to be so bad. When her father left she just became this other person. I don’t know who she is anymore.” Florence said desperately. “Well I know what she is, she’s a stupid little slut who doesn’t give a crap about anyone but herself. She almost killed Jacob Florence!” Phil yelled.

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Jacob heard his sister’s name was being used, and at first, that comforted him. Just hearing the sound of the familiar word sent love into his heart. But his father was yelling it. His mother was yelling too. He wanted to run away but his mother’s hold on him was so strong, like she didn’t want him to leave. This was not new to him; his parents would often fight like this. But this time he felt so alone, so abandoned. Where is Gia? Why did she leave? He didn’t understand. He flinched when his father yelled his name, remembering the last time he heard him say it. It was fallowed by pain, pain he had never experienced before.

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

“What are you talking about?” Flo asked. “Gia tried to kill herself again, this time with pills and Jacob found one of them, he could have put it in his mouth Florence.” Phil said. Florence sat down and let Jacob down, but he stayed there by her side as she rubbed her face in her hands. “I can’t believe she would be so stupid. I raised her better then that. I feel so hopeless. Nothing is working with her. I thought that if I let you be hard on her that she would stop doing thoughtless things. Maybe we should just send her away.” Florence said. “I’ve been saying that for years Florence. Why can’t we just ship her off and move on with our lives? We can raise Jacob together and we won’t have to worry about Gia.” Phil said. Tears rolled down Flo’s cheeks. “I love her Phil. She’s might daughter. I will always love her. But I married you so that I could move on with my life. I wanted to forget about my past but Gia is a constant reminder of her father. She is just like him.” Florence said. “Reckless and irresponsible?” Phil suggested. Florence nodded her head. “She needs to change soon. If she doesn’t, I’m giving up. I’m sending her to a boarding school.” Flo said. Phil smiled. “Finally you see things my way.” He said.

Jacob was wandering around the house; he had slipped away while his mother and father were talking. Neither of them had even noticed. He walked up to the kitchen door and tears slipped down his face, a sinking feeling invading his heart. He looked at the spot where he saw his sister last. Where did she go? He sobbed as he walked on, searching the house for her. She was nowhere. He finally came down the hall to her room; he stood on his toes to reach her doorknob and turned it. When he pushed it open he walked inside. He was consumed by a familiar smell. He cried even louder into the moonlit room, finding it empty. With great effort he crawled up her bed and made his way to her pillow. He laid his head down, letting Gia’s smell fill his nose. Memories of her began to come to him. The sound of her laughter, the feel of her skin, the beat of her heart as he laid his head against her chest. “Gia!!” He cried, clinging to the fluffy cushion of her pillow. His eyes slowly closed, his exhaustion taking over his body. He fell sleep, his tears drying on his soft rosy cheeks.

No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

Gia crept into the window, slightly disturbed at how little effort it took for her to get in. She had to see him. Her heart began to pound as she saw that he wasn’t in his room. She had been laying in Nik’s guestroom when suddenly the sound of Jacob’s cries echoed in her ears. She had to go to him. She didn’t care what Nikolas said; nothing would stop her from seeing her brother. She waited until she was sure Nik was asleep in his room before she snuck out. She had walked, practically ran all the way home. Her feet were killing her, as it was such a long walk. But in her heart she knew she had to do it, she just had to go to him. When Carol said that her mom came and got him, that was it for her. She knew that he needed her. Gia quietly stepped out of Jake’s room. She could hear the sound of her mother’s muffled voice, the faint sound of her laughter. It hurt her, to think that her mother was happy when her children were hurting so much. But she didn’t care about her mother; all she needed was to be with her baby brother. She wondered where he could be. She finally thought to check her own room. She flipped on the lights and she moaned as she spotted him.

Gia walked up to her bed, she gently crawled up to her brother, whose eyes were clamped shut. A lump was lodged in her throat as she looked down at his face. She could see the faint tracks of his tears that lingered on his cheeks. Her eyes were glued to him, and she became lost in the rise and fall of his body as he breathed. She lay her head down across from him, starring at his beautiful features. His mother must have been so beautiful, she thought. She began to run her fingers through his slightly matted hair, a smile curling at her lips as she thought he could use a haircut. She watched his eyes move rapidly under his closed lids, and when she bent over to kiss his lips lightly, she watched his eyes flutter open. They lay across from each other, and Gia stayed frozen in her spot as she watched his sad eyes danced along her face, looking at her every feature. Jacob brought his hand out; a soft smile appeared on his face as he brought his little hand to Gia’s face. Gia closed her eyes as Jake traced her face with his little fingers, her eyelids, her nose, and her lips. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she opened her eyes, and their eyes clashing together. “Gia!” Jake sobbed out. Gia moaned as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. Holding him tightly in her arms, rocking him as he cried. “I’m so sorry I left you Jacob. I’ll never do it again. I love you.” Gia whispered. “Love you Gia.” Jake said softly before he drifted back to sleep in the comfort of her arms.

Song credits: Everclear~ Wonderful