The color that we call BLUE is actually the result of an alien attempt to invade planet earth... The aliens know of the human weakness for crayons (don't lie, you eat them, too) and that blue is the most commonly chewed of them all... So they have poisoned all the blue crayons... They have invaded blue-crayon factories and put their poison in every single batch of blue crayons... Every time you eat a blue crayon, you become closer and closer to becoming one of THEM... They want to turn us all into aliens and then come join us on this beautiful planet...

There is good news! A group of sientists working for the secret service has developed an antidote to the alien blue-crayon poison... And have hidden it inside purple crayons... The new-and-improved purplicious crayons also have 7 essential vitamins and minerals! (These purple-crayon vitamins and minerals are not to be confused with those in Cheerios) This makes purple crayons the only REAL source of nutrition left on the planet! (Don't let your mom tell you any different... Broccoli is all part of the alien plot, also...)

Stock up now... As soon as everyone hears, school supply shelves everywhere will be purple crayon-less...

Just think... Purple crayons... The saving messiahs of society as we know it...