Familiar Banter
Rating: PG, just cuddling
Pairing: Josh/Sam
Disclaimer: This is fake, fiction, not real. I'm not implying anything about
the values or orientations of those involved. It all originates in my
overactive imagination (comes from not having television as a child).
Summary: Josh and Sam talk. Yep, just talk.
"I'm going to kill you, Sam."
"Why?"
"Because you interrupted my meeting and ate a banana."
"Oh." There was a long pause. "Are you mad because I interrupted the meeting
or because I ate the banana? Because I don't think I really interrupted
the meeting seeing as I ended up contributing a great deal to the meeting,
work-wise."
"Sam, you came into my office in the middle of a meeting and got fruit. Can
you not get fruit from someone else's office? Or, God forbid, the actual
cafeteria?"
Sam shrugged. "So I wanted to see you."
"Couldn't you have waited until after the meeting to eat the damn banana?"
"Yes, but it wouldn't have been near as much fun."
Josh gave a tortured sigh. "You just love doing that to me, don't you?"
"Yeah, I think I'm going pro. You know, on a world tour. 'See the famous Sam
Seaborne, in his miraculous acts of considerable torture against the poor,
suffering Josh Lyman!' Wouldn't that be entertaining, Josh?"
"You can't steal my lines like that, but, hell, yeah. I'd come. Just to show
that you can't really torture me."
"I can, too. And your lines are definitely fair game for me."
"No you can't."
"Yes I can."
"No you can't, Sam. I am completely immune to all forms Sam-torture."
"Then why are you going to kill me for torturing you?"
"I'm not going to kill you for torturing me. I'm going to kill me because you
interrupted my meeting and ate a banana."
"The article's a bit indefinite there, Josh. Do you mean you're killing me for
interrupting the meeting and eating the banana, as two separate acts for
which I must be put to death, or do you mean you're killing me for
interrupting your meeting to eat a banana? I think that a distinction must
be made."
Josh gave another tortured sigh. "See, I'm torturing you, aren't I?"
"No."
"Yes I am."
"No, you're not."
"I'm right, though."
"No, Sam, you're not right. You're just argumentative."
"Oh. Is there a difference?"
"Yes. A clear one."
"Because I never argue unless I'm right."
"That's a lie. You don't care why you're arguing, as long as there's an
argument involved."
"Yeah, but I'm still always right."
"You are not."
"I am, too."
"Not in this case. Because semantics are irrelevant in this case. Whether I
kill you once or twice, you're still dead."
"Yes, but if you killed me once and messed up, I'd still be alive, where as if
you killed me twice, you'd have a far less chance of failure."
"Yet I used the clear verb kill rather than something less definite such as
attempt to kill. Saying kill clearly indicates that death, your death,
will be involved."
"Oh."
"Ha. I won the argument."
"No you didn't. I just got sick of the argument."
"Clearly meaning that I won, by default."
"Nope. It's a stalemate."
"You're impossible."
Sam smiled. "I know."
"Is Toby really your favorite writer?"
"Yeah."
"He's pretty good."
"Yeah."
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"You're my favorite writer."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Cool."
Josh laughed. "Sam, only you would say 'cool' in response to that comment."
"I'm just special that way."
"I think maybe Senator Stackhouse is my hero."
"Mine, too."
"That was amazing, what he did today."
"It really was. And to have so many rally behind him�"
"Democracy worked today, Sam."
"It was wonderful, wasn't it? To see it in action, the way it was intended?"
"It really was. To see it used to help instead of to hurt. Gives you kind of
chill to know you're part of such a�a�"
"A magnificent procedure?"
"Not what I was thinking of, but good enough."
"Mmm."
"Sam?"
"Yeah, Josh?"
"I think that watching that filibuster for that long was better than having
Mike Piazza call me 'dude'.
"Think so?"
"Yeah. I don't think even that would give me quite the same rush."
"Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you still going to kill me?"
"Mmmm�" He smiled as Sam snuggled closer to him. "I guess not."
"Josh?"
"Yeah, Sam?"
"I'm glad I'm here. Instead of on vacation."
"Me, too."
"Josh?"
"Yes, Sam?"
"I love you."
"I love you too, Sam." Josh put his arm around Sam and pulled him closer in
the bed, and kissed him softly.
"It's really late at night. I think maybe I'll go to sleep, now."
"Actually it's really early in the morning."
"Whatever."
Josh smiled against Sam's neck. "What?"
"You didn't argue."
"I told you, I only argue when I'm right."
"You're saying I was right?"
Sam sighed. "Good night, Josh."
"Night, love."
The drifted off to sleep in silence.