I could tell right away something was up with Billy and Damon. Nothing anyone else would notice, but I have known them both for 12 years. Billy had finished dressing and was sitting across the room with Dame, taping his stick. They were sitting very close together, but that wasn't that unusual. They'd always been affectionate.
But I somehow knew it was a little more than simple affection. An unwelcome pang of jealousy rose in me, and I sighed. Now was not the time to be examining my feelings. Now was time for practice. Billy must've noticed my slight distraction during practice, because afterwards he asked to talk to me. I didn't miss the look he gave Damon or the slight nod he got in return.
"So, what's up, Billy?"
"Look, Park, Dame and I had a sort of revelation last night."
"Oh?"
"It was something that's been...building up for a while now. Last night...I don't know what was different, but-"
"Yeah, Billy." It wasn't a question, but he took it as such.
"I love him, Park. And he loves me. We're kind of...dating."
I smiled at him. "I'm happy for you."
"But, Park...I'm afraid-"
"Of what? You're in love...you're happy, aren't you?"
"Yeah, of course! But I'm - we're - worried about you."
That gave me pause. I didn't know I had entered into the equation. "Why would you be worried about me, Billy?"
He bit his lip, his eyes clouded a dark blue with worry. "I guess...we've always been a trio, you know? I can't remember us ever doing anything apart, except school. I didn't even HAVE friends at my elementary school, I was always with you guys. And now Dame and I have hooked up, and we're afraid you'll feel...left out."
People don't give Billy enough credit. He's a very empathetic guy. "And," he continued, "you've never made any secret that you're...well, gay. And we haven't been - aren't, really. So I feel like we're being unfair..."
He trailed off, obviously unsure of what else to say. I sighed. "I'm fine, Billy. I am. I'm not jealous or upset with you guys. You can't help it. You're my best friends, I just want you to be happy."
"But you do feel left out." He immediately picked up on the thing I hadn't mentioned.
I just shrugged. "Maybe it's better that way. All I need to be happy is hockey, anyway. I'm a good loner." He was obviously not satisfied, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Ok, Park," he said uncertainly. "Just don't...don't be depressed or anything."
I forced a laugh. "Dude, I'm not in school and I'm playing hockey like six hours a day. What could be better?"
He brightened, and I knew he felt better as he left to go back to Dame.
The days and weeks flew by. They all blurred together after a while, though, hockey and homework and conditioning and more homework and sleep. But I could see the team getting better. We were all getting better. Coach could shuffle lines however he wanted, and we could play together. He'd been playing with the 2nd-4th lines, but he'd kept Billy, Dame, and me together. They'd taken to calling us the MAD line, because any defender would be mad to try to stop us. It was hard to tell, though, how competitive we'd be outside of our intrasquad games and offense vs defense scrimmages.
Still, I know I've never been in better shape. Physically. I was still sort of dealing with Billy and Damon, who were careful never to flaunt their relationship in front of me. I guess that was nice, but I wish they'd just treat me normally.
At any rate, I was laying on my bed, reading, when Kev came back from practice. "How're you feeling?" he asked, letting the door swing shut behind him. I'd been fighting a cold for a few days, and Coach finally told me to take off 'til I was better.
"A little better," I told him, sighing. I didn't want to be sick now, just before we started playing games.
"You better hurry up. Coach moved Neo up with Billy and Damon. They couldn't move anything around. Rest assured that your position is safe."
"That's good to know," I said, and he nodded and sat down at his desk. I went back to my book. Kev and I had become pretty good friends. I wondered about him sometimes - he acted almost like he was flirting with me. I certainly wouldn't mind - he was cute and, outside of his goalie eccentricities, a nice guy. But he'd never made a direct approach, and I felt that since I was the captain, I should refrain from hitting on teammates.
The sound of glass breaking and a loud "Fuck!" startled me out of my thoughts. I closed my book and got up quickly, crossing to Kevyn's side. A glass in several hundred pieces was scattered across his desk and floor. He was staring at his hand, which was bleeding.
"Kevyn? What the hell-"
Before I could even finish the question, he was out the door. I followed him to the bathroom. "You shouldn't be here," he told me, sticking his hand under the running water and washing away the blood. "You should be in bed."
I was startled to hear tears in his voice. "What's wrong, Kevyn?"
"Nothing...nothing important. It's just...just me..."
I shut off the water and spun him around to look at me. "Look at me! I'm the captain! It's my job to know when things are wrong with the team! Now tell me what's going on! What happened to make you so angry you crushed a fucking glass with your bare hand?"
He hung his head. "It's...it's just teasing, I overreacted."
"You may be weird, Kev, but I've never seen you overreact like that. Who was it?"
"Neo," came the whisper.
"What'd he do?"
"Since the beginning...first it was just verbal. Then a little physical...nothing too bad. Today...it was-"
He didn't need to say it. "Why didn't you tell anybody?"
"I deserved it," he said quietly.
I froze. "What?"
"I deserved it," his eyes met mine this time.
I whirled around, wanting to hit something, but realized that'd be a bad idea and clenched my fists instead. "You get your hand looked at. I'll be back." I turned and walked a couple steps, then turned back and approached him again. I put my hands on his shoulders and made him look me in the eyes. "This. Was. Not. Your. Fault. Ok?"
He nodded faintly, and I stormed out of the room.
My first instinct was to go beat the hell out of Neo, but that wouldn't solve too much. Instead I went straight to Coach Brown's office. "Come in," he called at my knock. I entered. "Mr. Addison. Sit down. What can I do for you?"
"Neo Barrett needs to be off this team. Right now."
He held up his hand. "Whoa, whoa, slow down. Tell me what's going on."
"I just found out that Neo has been harassing our goalie since we first got here."
"Harassing? What do you mean harassing?"
"Verbally, physically, sexually."
His eyes grew serious. "Neo Barrett sexually harassed Kevyn Reynolds? Who told you this?"
"Kevyn."
"He wouldn't have been lying? Does he have anything against Neo?"
"They'd never met before camp. He's not lying, Coach. He came in after practice, and he seemed normal. But then he...he crushed a glass. With his bare hand, cut his hand all up. I followed him to the bathroom to ask him what was wrong. He told me...took a lot of effort, but he told me."
"If what you told me is correct, that is grounds for dismissal. There will be a process. Will Kevyn tell anyone else what he told you?"
"Yes, sir." He would, no matter what it took.
"I'll get started immediately, then."
"Thank you, sir."
I was almost to the door, when he called me again. "Mr. Addison?"
"Yes, sir."
"I'll revoke his 'A' immediately. Who should it go to?"
I hesitated. "I may be biased...but I think Billy Morris."
He nodded, his eyes twinkling. "That's what I was thinking." I started to leave again. "And Mr. Addison?"
"Yes?"
"For Christ's sake, get some rest."
I nodded and headed back to my room. Now I had to find Kevyn and talk to him, really talk to him. I'd let Coach handle Neo initially. And I should talk to Billy and Dame. And then, maybe, I could get some rest.