Gunggong sa bulong... nahuhulog... paulit. ulit.
Monday,
02.07.2005, 9:59 AM
Something Beautiful.
the LORD loves me.
I met two wonderful girls-- Mec, and Katha at
Youth On Fire [in Galleria]. God made his plans for me like a prank..
hehee... :D~ and I am surprised. I'm hurt.. yes. I have to get over a drastic
change from autumn to ashes. I have to change the way i would look and feel for
a person 360 degrees... and that person is the one responsible for why I met
those two lovely girls. :) I just want to laugh at the joke. Lord God.. It's
funny! :D Seriously... God has certain ways for HIM to reveal what he wants
for you. It may require you to have a change of heart, or for you to lose
something, or someone and get hurt... but you know, if God wants you to put
something down, he wants you to pick up something better. ALWAYS THE BETTER.
HE hears the desires of your heart and He loves you that He, without
hesitation, has planned everything for you and would give you what you NEED in
His PERFECT TIME. So wait and expect for the best. yey. :)
But i'm not totally putting Daks down, after all that's
been said and done, HE IS MY BEST FRIEND. Whatever I am now, I owe it to
him. I CANNOT ABANDON MY FRIEND. Especially now that he is under the influence
of the enemy. I know that he already realized what he has been doing. and i
would help him walk the path of Christ. About my personal feelings for him,
nilunod ko na yun sa dagat. haha. Maybe I would just have to GUARD MY
HEART and forget the wrong feelings and don't let my emotions crash into me.
like what've Katha had said... Do not be bound by your emotions or
something to that effect. I forgot her exact words. :) But the thought lingered
to my heart.
I never really lost anything. "The All" loves me. And all praises shall be
His.
Current Music:
Jars of Clay, Something Beautiful
Monday,
01.31.2005, 2:25 PM
Unforgetful You / Malamig na Tubig sa Madaling Araw.
be glad that he is remains unannoyed. yes. he endured your late-night musings about how indirectly you wished that something transcendental would happen to you and him [like a cosmic exchange of those "three little words" shit.] as you keep on saying that it's the other way around. yeah right. and to your utter glee he still has the next day for you-- when at the stroke of 8 pm, you two are back to the two inch... you talk. he listens. you fall in love. he smiles and makes you fall in love more. you fall apart, and gives you that routinary "good night, sleep tight" text message and you are... surprise! surprise! happy. be happy. you are blessed [he wants to put it that way because he doesn't believe in luck for theistic reasons]. he is your true friend. be thankful enough that he is. do not ask for anything more. HELLO. you've been here, same situation, same feeling... you should know what to do. but behold the chemical romance! HELLO AGAIN??! do i have to hit your head with a frying pan for you to learn?! pah. next time i promise I'm gonna get it.
Nothingness. I'm so enthralled with how sweet the vox of Jars Of Clay delivered "You're so unforgetful." in their song Unforgetful You. I'm A girl. what can I do? :) haha
***
Nasabi ko na ba? na ang favorite album ko ngayon.. ay LOVE AND DEVOTION by Valley of Chrome? :D~ yan alam mo na. yey. :D [hello abi.. di naman yun malabo kasi favorite mo yung Valley Of Chrome. walang kataka-taka dyan. Fact na yan. kamusta naman diba?] Ang ganda ng bagong Forever Young. Panis pa yung Video. :D~ Nakakakilig. kasama ko pala kahapon si "wala lang". [inggit nanaman si carolyn! nya-ha-ha] nung pauwi na ako.. at pasakay na ng bus...
WL: ingat ka
ha..
Abi: ingat din kayo.. kita na lang tayo sa lunes...
WL:
sige.. [sabay beso]
Abi: [beso din] *kilig*
oooppss. anjan ka pala Ketch??! bwahahaha!!! :D
SHET. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa madaling araw. haha. [Lagot ako kay Tessa! :D~ nyaha]
Current music:
Jars of Clay, Unforgetful You
Monday,
01.31.2005, 2:25 PM
I die just to feel something...
I've nothing really much to say. I would just be sharing the tracks in my new MIX CD.
1. Chevelle - The Red
2. Silverstein - Smashed into Pieces
3. Taking Back Sunday - There's No "I" In Team
4. Funeral
For A Friend - Red is the New Black
5. Thrice - All That's
Left
6. Atreyu - Lip Gloss and Black
8. Boxcar Racer - There Is
9. Dishwalla - Angels or Devils
10. Finch - Perfection Through Silence
11. Mineral - Take
A Picture Now
12. Jars Of Clay - Unforgetful You
13. The Sundays - She
14. Lost Prophets - Last Train Home
15.
Maria Mena - You're The Only One
16. The All-American
Rejects - The Last Song
17. Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
18. Poison The Well - To Mandate Heaven
Saturday,
01.22.2005, 3:54 PM
Logic vs. Instinct
A question just popped out of my mind just this morning... in choosing the people who come into your life.. say, friends, lovers, enemies... do you use logic, your sense of reason... or it's just instinctual? choosing who is your friend, who is not.. who is true and who is just faking it. who's who and which is which.
"Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion." -Thomas Jefferson
Homage of reason? blindfolded fear? mind over heart? what is reason?
Reason. It is the great principle of Descartes; it is the fundamental axiom of modern science. Positively the principle may be expressed: In matters of the intellect, follow your reason as far as it will take you, without regard to any other consideration. And negatively: In matters of the intellect do not pretend that conclusions are certain which are not demonstrated or demonstrable.
Do you need to follow the scientific method of uncovering the universe and base everything in scientific explanations and reason? Even how you would choose your friends?
Would you defy the norm and stand up for what you feel.. even if you feel for a person you barely knew? Would that person feel the same? Get over it. IT'S WEIRD. We must follow rules. I don't know you. you don't know me either. We should be like this first.. then this... bullshit. We are all governed by law-- the norm. And this is the way I know how we could be best friends.
THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.
So you never meant the things you said? Even if you said...
"From here on, It's instinctual."
Monday,
01.10.2005, 3:52 PM
Smile Lines.
I've already found a lifetime's best friend in Daks. No, I actually don't feel any romantic feelings for him [right now. we'll never know. but for some reasons' i don't want it to happen.] I just thought of it this morning... that HE IS TURNING MY LIFE AROUND AND INTO THE ARMS OF OUR CREATOR. Yeah... I've already despised and ridiculed Catholicism... but nonetheless... he edified my belief in THE ALL.. after all that Voltaire and D'Hollbach i've read..:) He is such a mover-- That, i think, is his gift. I'll be forever dazed and amused hearing other people's stories on how Daks touched their lives in a way or two. in the same way, I'm thankful for letting me have my own miracle. for showing me the way back to the daylight. and for bringing back something necessary, yet unrevealed to me. Now I feel envious with other people who have known Daks for a long time now. Sana mas maaga pa siyang dumating sa buhay ko. Now i found another reason to live. :)
So, my dear best friend if you're reading this... now you know how much i value you. ;)
X's::: I'm doing a collab with Berto and Awing. A Comic book. wehehehe... :) I'll be working with them on the story, and on selling the material online. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! I'll start writing tonight. ;)
Thursday, 12.30.2004,
9:48 AM
foolish. overwhelmed.
I never thought somebody would visit this abandoned site still. and for some reason the thought overwhelmed the sucker in me. so whoever you are, kudos to you and your online meanderings. :) it's been a while since i updated this. sabi ko nga di ko na to i-uupdate after my computer got fucked up and shit. anyways... two days to go before the year ends. i've met so many people this this year. so many beautiful people [whom i fell in love with in a way or two] aaccckk... the list will be long enough to bore you so why bother deba? heh.. but i guess i have a responsibility to you, my friend [who had enough time to waste... reading my musings about love and life.] kaya ito na lang mga important people. never mind the details. :) belat.
Emo Shun...
Brainstorm... brainstorm...
Rogel "wala lang" and our short love story that ended for shit. :)
Jen Funeral and the Akira Kurosawa films.
Miki Himeno ^_^
Anna Maria Cristina = KREME lokaret! o.0 :)
Ouchy. Isa pang buang.. haha
ARIEL NATHANIEL. my sweetest. my prince. my star. On a sad note, it ended up the way I expected it to be... sabi na nga ba. :( but ya know, the memory of the 23rd floor, 7pm skylights reflecting in his eyes... the salvador cabrera walls, and the mixed CD he had given me will always be my treasures. :)
Joshua Emmanuel... :)
Berto! Buhawi! Vic! Chan!!!
Colt 45
Bangs4Peace
Vindicated Jake... ang aking myspace angel! :)
Ack!!!!! *sigh**sigh some more* i have begrudged the year.... wahehahe... thank goddess for creating such marvelous creatures. :D
Sunday, 08.22.2004,
1:38 PM
Oo nga naman.
"Ang crayons, hindi nauubos. Nawawala lang." --Ethan
Oo nga naman.
Thursday, 08.19.2004,
4:32 AM
Last words of a burnt out heart.
And I closed my eyes and said... distraught... "I want to believe in You again. Show me the way to forgive You.". My last words fade in black.
Monday, 08.15.2004,
1:27 AM
The faces of falling depth.
Falling in love was not intended. Yet I did. I was. I still am. I never fell out. Yet, I fell back-- and it made sense.
Falling in depths... forever and ever.
Sunday, 08.08.2004,
1:48 PM
Conquering Dukkha
Why are you looking for the truth in all earthly things? Mundane is nothing but volatile. Look for the truth in the endless-- Look for it inside you.