THE MOSS COVERED THREE HANDLED FAMILY CREDENZA
ARTICLE #26
FEBRUARY 11, 2001
Balloons, Fish, Venom & Bug Zappers: Early Big Japan Insanity
5/22/96: Balloon Thumbtacks Massacre: Shoji Nakamaki & Axl Rotten vs Kendo Nagasaki & Seiji (Ryuji) Yamakawa
The main gimmick was that several huge balloons, each containing thumbtacks, were hung above the ring. At the 7:30 mark, they would pop, sending the tacks to the canvas and thus into play. Nagasaki took his fight with Nakamaki out of the ring early as Rotten got the better of Yamakawa. Rotten gave Yamakawa a clothesline off the apron to the floor and threw him into a sea of chairs. Yamakawa and Nagasaki double suplexed Nakamaki and Yamakawa gained a near fall. Nakamaki won an exchange of headbutts with Yamakawa and threw him out of the ring. Nakamaki threw Yamakawa into a sea of chairs as Nagasaki attacked Rotten with a chair on the floor as well. Nakamaki gave Yamakawa a lariat for a near fall. Rotten fought back against Nagasaki as Yamakawa applied a cross armbreaker on Nakamaki. Rotten hit Nagasaki with a chair in the crowd. Nakamaki rammed Yamakawa into a bunch of chairs at ringside and bashed him with one. Nagasaki and Nakamaki had a slugfest at ringside after which Nagasaki sent Nakamaki into a bunch of chairs. Nakamaki fought back as Rotten had Yamakawa in an armbar of some sort in the ring. Back in the ring Nagasaki hit both opponents with a chair. Yamakawa attempted a piledriver but Rotten countered with a backdrop. Nakamaki won another exchange against Yamakawa with a headbutt and powerbombed him for a near fall. Nagasaki dominated Rotten at ringside as the balloons exploded at 7:30. Nakamaki powerbombed Yamakawa on the tacks for a near fall as the crowd got into it. Rotten also slammed Yamakawa onto the thumbtack covered canvas and gave him a big splash for a near fall as Yamakawa was busted open. Yamakawa fought back with a mule kick and DDTd Rotten for the pin at 9:08. A main event death match going less than 10 minutes!? Well, that made sense since the work in the match itself was pretty bad, but was kinda stupid since the main gimmick, the thumbtacks, didn�t come into play until 7:30 into the match. Nagasaki dragged down the match and the other three weren�t inspired enough or capable enough to step up. 3/4*
8/19/96: Piranha Fish Tank Death Match: Mitsuhiro Matsunaga vs Kendo Nagasaki
The basic premise was that a fish tank, about 7 feet long and maybe 2-3 feet wide and deep, was filled about halfway with water and then a few dozen piranha fish. Add Nagasaki to the mix and a dead crowd with many empty seats and you have the makings of a less-than-classic. To add to the bloodshed, a couple barbed wire boards were placed in the ring. Matsunaga scored with some kicks in the corner early. Nagasaki fought back with a couple lame kicks and teased putting Matsunaga into the tank. Nagasaki got the better of Matsunaga and pushed him into a barbed wire board. The board broke and Nagasaki wrapped the board on Matsunaga, then stood on him. Nagasaki applied a half crab and crossed Matsunaga�s legs. Nagasaki tried to throw Matsunaga into the tank but Matsunaga jumped over the tank. Nagasaki backed Matsunaga into the other barbed wire board and gave him some chops. Matsunaga fought back with a series of kicks and unsuccessfully tried to send Nagasaki into the tank. Nagasaki fought back and threw Matsunaga out of the ring. He hit Matsunaga with a cluster of chairs at ringside. Matsunaga was busted open by this point and Nagasaki made another unsuccessful attempt to push him into the tank, although Matsunaga�s blood did seep into the water. Nagasaki took the fight to ringside but Matsunaga fought back with more kicks. Matsunaga hit Nagasaki with a barbed wire board and pushed one of the boards onto Nagasaki�s body. He rammed Nagasaki into the ringpost, a ringside table and hit him with a chair. Nagasaki was also bleeding by the 10 minute mark but he fought back and whipped Matsunaga into the table. Nagasaki threw the table onto Matsunaga and hit him with a chair. Back in the ring Nagasaki landed another chairshot and placed a barbed wire board over the tank. He pushed Matsunaga onto the board. Matsunaga landed a few kicks. He tried to bulldog Nagasaki into the tank and came very close to succeeding. Nagasaki fought back, slammed Matsunaga and dropped a barbed wire board on him. Nagasaki powerbombed Matsunaga and piledrove him. He then pushed Matsunaga into the tank for the win at 16:10. A wild scene took place as half the locker room rushed out to get Matsunaga out of the tank and tend to him, although that scene was kinda overacted. Matsunaga was a bloody mess, but not because of being dumped into the tank, since the fish clearly did little if any damage. A bad match as you would expect. Nagasaki did a poor job selling and his offense wasn�t any better, kind of like Kronic of late. Matsunaga tried, but his limitations didn�t help either. 1/2*
11/1996: Desert Death Match: Mitsuhiro Matsunaga vs Shoji Nakamaki
There was a tub filled with sand in which a couple dozen scorpions were placed. In two corners there were cactus plants tied to the turnbuckles. Nakamaki landed a couple headbutts and tried to hiptoss Matsunaga into the tank but Matsunaga jumped over the tank. Nakamaki too the fight out of the ring but Matsunaga fought back and sent Nakamaki into a sea of chairs. Matsunaga rammed Nakamaki into the ringpost and whipped him into a table. Nakamaki fought back and threw a couple chairs into the ring. They exchanged chairshots after which Nakamaki pushed Matsunaga into one of the cactus plants. Nakamaki crashed into the plant when Matsunaga moved out of the way of a lariat. Matsunaga landed three kicks and unsuccessfully tried to push Nakamaki into the tank. Nakamaki fought back and DDTd Matsunaga, then made an unsuccessful attempt to push him into the tank as well. Matsunaga hit a bloody Nakamaki with a kick and nearly pushed him into the tank, and Nakamaki�s hand actually fell in and he sold as if he had been stung. Matsunaga attacked Nakamaki with a chair but Nakamaki fought back. Nakamaki hit Matsunaga with a chair and dominated a brawl throughout the crowd and out of the main arena. They returned to ringside and Nakamaki DDTd Matsunaga on the floor. Nakamaki grabbed part of a cactus and suplexed Matsunaga onto it for a pop. Nakamaki set up two chairs and parts of a cactus across the chairs. Matsunaga fought back with a bunch of kicks and powerbombed Nakamaki onto the cactus segments. Nakamaki was a bloody mess by this point. Matsunaga batted the scorpion tank with his belt. He attempted to powerbomb Nakamaki into the tank and Nakamaki countered with a backdrop, although Matsunaga avoided contact with the contents of the tank. Nakamaki pushed him into the tank and won at 10:05. Matsunaga was rushed out of the arena as a wild fight erupted between Nakamaki and Nagasaki. Another poor match, but not as bad as the first two because there was more action content in this one and they worked reasonably hard. However, when you have Nakamaki and Matsunaga involved, without others to carry them one should be happy with the rating; it could have been worse. *
4/1997: Bug Zapper Death Match: Shoji Nakamaki & Seiji (Ryuji) Yamakawa vs Mitsuhiro Matsunaga & Tarzan Goto
There were boards with thick coils of barbed wire and these weird lightbulbs that were shaped like but shorter and thicker than fluorescent tubes. One board was placed in each corner of the ring. The lights were turned off in the arena. They attacked each other before the bell as the �bug zapper� bulbs were turned on. Nakamaki no-sold a chairshot from Goto on the floor but sold a second one. Matsunaga threw some kicks at Yamakawa in the ring and almost whipped Yamakawa into one of the boards. Goto hit Yamakawa with a chair repeatedly as Matsunaga fought with Nakamaki. Matsunaga whipped Nakamaki into one of the barbed wire/bug zapper boards early and Goto threw Yamakawa out of the ring. Nakamaki hit a tope suicida on Matsunaga. Goto got the better of Yamakawa at ringside and threw a bunch of chairs on him. Nakamaki attacked Matsunaga with a chair in the ring. Nakamaki whipped Matsunaga towards one of the bards, which nearly crashed onto Matsunaga�s body. Goto sliced open Nakamaki with what looked like a wrench or a fork and Matsunaga whipped Yamakawa into a board. Goto whipped Nakamaki into another board, nearly breaking the board in half. Both Nakamaki and Yamakawa were a bloody mess by this point. Yamakawa briefly fought back against Goto but Goto recovered and aborted his comeback. He gave Yamakawa a lariat as Matsunaga dominated Nakamaki on the floor. Yamakawa scored with a lariat on Goto but Goto fought back and whipped Yamakawa into a board in the ring. Matsunaga propped a barbed wire/bug zapper board between the apron and a table at ringside. Matsunaga went to the top rope but Nakamaki pushed him off and onto the board. Goto dumped a table on Yamakawa in the crowd as Nakamaki slammed Matsunaga onto the board at ringside. Goto hit Nakamaki with a chair and they returned to the ring. Goto grinded Yamakawa�s face into one of the barbed wire boards with his foot. Goto missed a lariat and Yamakawa dropkicked him. Goto sidestepped a second dropkick as Nakamaki rammed Matsunaga�s leg onto the board at ringside. Goto gave Yamakawa a brainbuster and went to powerbomb him onto one of the boards but Nakamaki made the save with a lariat. Goto was double-teamed by Nakamaki and Yamakawa but gave both of them a lariat. Matsunaga set up a couple chairs in the ring and placed one of the boards on them. Matsunaga powerbombed Yamakawa onto the board and pinned him at 12:01. As far as grading this match, this was pretty much the same as the previous match. Goto was very reminiscent of Nagasaki in terms of poor athleticism and a lack of selling. Yamakawa already showed some talent and fire, but couldn�t carry matches like this yet. *
6/7/97: Triple Hell Death Match: Shoji Nakamaki & Seiji (Ryuji) Yamakawa vs Tarzan Goto & Mr. X
Two sides of ropes were replaced by barbed wire strands, and the other two gimmicks consisted of glass panes and a bed of thumbtacks. Nakamaki carried a barbed wire board to the ring and Yamakawa carried a barbed wire bat. Goto & X attacked them before the bell at ringside and a wild brawl erupted. Goto attacked both opponents with the barbed wire bat. In fact he hit Nakamaki with the bat so much the bat itself broke. Yamakawa grinded the masked X�s head into some of the thumbtacks at ringside as Goto won an exchange of headbutts with Nakamaki. Nakamaki fought back with a DDT on Goto. Goto whipped Nakamaki into a side of barbed wire and Nakamaki sailed out of the ring. X hit a tope suicida of sorts on Nakamaki. Goto destroyed a chair over a bloody Nakamaki�s head and hit him with a table. Yamakawa hit Goto with a barbed wire board. X pushed Nakamaki�s head into a pile of thumbtacks in the ring as Yamakawa dropkicked Goto. Goto gave Yamakawa a short lariat. He went to piledrive Yamakawa but Nakamaki intervened. Yamakawa and Nakamaki clotheslined Goto onto a bed of thumbtacks. Goto got the better of Yamakawa as Nakamaki DDTd X. Goto slammed Yamakawa onto the thumbtacks and Nakamaki slingshot X onto a side of barbed wire that replaced the ropes. Goto clotheslined Nakamaki, who fell onto/into/through a plate of glass. Goto took a piece of glass and stabbed Nakamaki�s arm with it repeatedly. X dominated Yamakawa as Goto sliced Nakamaki�s arm into a bloody mess. Goto then hit Nakamaki�s bloodied arm with a chair. Yamakawa threw some kicks at X as Goto attacked Nakamaki�s arm with another piece of glass. Goto continued to attack the arm for a while. He broke a chair over Nakamaki�s head as Yamakawa gave X a cradle suplex for a near fall. Goto also attacked Yamakawa with a piece of broken glass and sliced his head open even more than it had already been. Goto went back to attacking Nakamaki�s mutilated right arm. He gave Yamakawa a ton of headbutts and a short lariat. Goto set up two chairs and placed a barbed wire board on them. He powerbombed Yamakawa through the board and then hit Nakamaki�s arm with a chair. Goto and X then placed a thumbtack bed on two of the chairs. X attempted to slam Yamakawa onto the tacks but Yamakawa rolled him up for a near fall. Yamakawa gave X a couple cool kicks, a legsweep and powerbombed him onto the tacks for the pin at 15:25. There was some action but this match was really sabotaged by the work of Goto, who spent most of the match stabbing or attacking Nakamaki�s arm with glass or a chair. The focus was still too much on gore and not at all on wrestling spots, which limited what Yamakawa and maybe X and Nakamaki could do. If you like bloody matches, by 1997 standards this was certainly up there, but I�m sure there is much bloodier action out there now with better action content. 1/2*
Next Issue: Japan�s Real World
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