1. You stock up on Nutrageous bars.
2. You have the DVD sets for Season 1 and 2.
3. You buy all Michael's books.
4. Your wardrobe consists of clothes with Ficus campaign slogans on them.
5. You buy a baseball hat and a camera and go around pretending you're Michael.
6. You cut your hair like Michael's.
7. You go into corporations and start arguing with PR reps in your spare time.
8. You think about The Awful Truth 24/7/365.
9. When you miss an episode (back when they still made new ones) you make a documentary about the injustice of the network not showing enough repeats.
10. You legally change your name to Michael Moore.
11. You accidentally call your boyfriend Michael when kissing him.
12. You use the word "conservative" the way most people use the word "bastard."
13. You buy a ficus tree.
14. You go see all of Michael's movies in theaters.
15. You're afraid of conservatives.
16. You're afaid of PR reps.
17. You name your dog Michael.
18. You make a The Awful Truth website.
19. You change your desktop wallpaper to a different The Awful Truth one every week.
20. You have the theme song as your cellphone ring tone.
21. You instantly recognize Michael whenever he does a cameo.
22. You make up a board game that involves arguing with evil PR reps.
23. You cut Michael interviews and articles out of magazines and put on them on your locker door.
24. You post on a The Awful Truth message board.
25. When you cry because your boyfriend dumped you, you pretend you're crying over the state America is in under Republican rule.
26. You look for clothes that you've seen Michael wear on the show.
27. You keep one eye open for Michael everywhere you go, just in case.
28. You're still on a high over Michael winning the Oscar.
29. You've seen HMO funeral at least four times, but it still makes you cry.
30. You have high hopes that Michael will run for president.
31. You start building your own "Michaelbot."
32. You start making documentaries about anything that pisses you off.
33. (back when the show was still on) Your friends were afraid to call during The Awful Truth time, because of the lecture they'd be in for the next day.
34. You kick an incredibly hot guy who wants to stay the night out so you can update your The Awful Truth website without him reading over your shoulder.
35. When your parents insult a The Awful Truth episode you call the conservatives.
36. You stay up to watch The Awful Truth no matter what time it's on.
37. You won't date anyone who insults The Awful Truth.
38. You go through millions of boyfriends looking for your Michael.
39. You refer to every hot guy you know as Michael.
40. You glare at your friends whenever they say anything bad about The Awful Truth.
41. You try to find a car horn that plays the theme song.
42. You fill your computer hard drive with pictures of Michael.
43. You go into The Awful Truth chat rooms.
44. You refer to your future husband as Michael.
45. When a new girl at school asks who that is of a picture of Michael at least three people say "Oh, that's Michael Moore, her favorite."
46. You just stare at your sister in disbelief when she asks to change the channel on The Awful Truth.
47. You ask your friends if they want to act out entire segments.
48. You throw a "Compassionate Conservative Night" party every year.
49. You make your very own The Awful Truth on the local public access channel.
50. You instant message anyone with a The Awful Truth-related screenname.
51. You have a crush on Michael.
52. You have your own Michael who lives in your head.
53. You e-mail corporations rambling about the error of their ways.
54. You're scared to let your friends go bowling.
55. You go off searching for conservatives to inflict revenge on.
56. You have a go at raising chickens in hopes that Crackers will visit you.
57. You swell with pride if you're lucky enough to be named Michael.
58. You want to visit Time Square.
59. You change your AIM icon to a different The Awful Truth one every week.
60. You make more The Awful Truth layouts, banners, buttons, and splash graphids than anyone could ever use.
61. You make Michael dollz.
62. Before signing any petitions you think "What Would Michael Do?"
63. You're keeper/guardian/watcher of various The Awful Truth things.
64. You join a fan guild.
65. You write The Awful Truth-inspired poetry.
66. You believe that everything you ever really needed to know in life you learned from The Awful Truth.
67. You go on-line looking for The Awful Truth trivia quizzes.
68. You're always creating and voting in The Awful Truth polls.
69. You start an on-line "University of Mooreology"
70. You use The Awful Truth quotes on your answering machine.
71. You fill your shelves with tributes to Michael and your favorite episodes.
72. You find yourself making a list of ways to tell when you're obsessed with The Awful Truth.
73. You round up all your friends and conduct a witch hunt at your school.
74. You refuse to get life insurance and call all life insurance companies f*ckin' conservatives.
75. You play "Beat the Rich" with your friends every Tuesday.
76. You refer to the all-boy choir at your school as "The Sodomobile"
77. You growl everytime someone mentions Fred Phelps.
78. You refuse to go to Disneyworld becuase of how they treat their employees.
79. You start a voice-box choir in your town.
80. You put an ad in the classifieds looking for your own personal bill collector.
81. You name one lucky f*ckin' conservative "Man of the Year" every year.
82. You go listen to nails on a chalkboard everytime George Will is on.
83. You try to get a restraining order from Renco.
84. Now that the whole "I See Lucy" thing is over, you make a Sim named Lucy and watch it all the time.
85. You destroy a shack or two.
86. You clip want ads for Joe Camel.
87. You apply for citizenship in Ted Turner's country.
88. You apply for Teen Sniper School.
89. You go to Switzerland to demand that bank pay those Holocaust victims already.
90. You clip personal ads for Hilary Clinton.
91. You hire a NAFTA self to go to school for you.
91. You only buy the products mentioned in Advertiser Appreciation Night.
92. You play dead to see if anyone will help you.
93. You tip well for foreigners.
94. You apply to get a job as a taxi driver so you can only pick up black people.
95. You get culture shock going from Barrie to Toronto.
96. You direct homeless people you come across to Public Storage.
97. You clip want-ads for Bill Clinton.
98. You join a The Awful Truth webring.
99. You "adopt" a desktop Michael.
100. You teach all the local business "in case of Michael" drills.