Interview

The following is the rather disjointed transcript of part of a session with an entity who refers to itself as "Vinnie".
My contact with this Intelligence (?) began spontaniously after an unfortunate incident involving an electrical storm, a Ouija board and a gerbil.

V. Whoa! Evolution?! Sounds like pretty serious stuff.

M. Hunh..?

V. OOPS. Sorry, some crosstalk coming through from a 2nd density sand-grain. Happens sometimes.You wouldn't believe how difficult it is for us to communicate this way. One little mistake in the tachyon stream and PFFFFT! Rip in the continuum! MAJOR hassle.

M. Will I have to get bigger shoes?
How will I tell when I'm making progress? Will my blacklight posters react?
Will I still have to wipe my own butt or will there be lesser evolved beings to do the manual labor? Or will I wipe my butt with my mind?
Why do contactees sound like used car salesman, saying a lot without making anything absolutely clear? Will I be able to do that?
They can fill pages and pages with stuff you can "almost"understand. GAAA! Am I the only one that can't completely absorb it?
Does this mean I gotta stop looking at dirty pictures on the 'net?

V.. It's easy. You just gotta realise it and believe in it. Make it your reality. But you cannot understand it, 'cause you're from 3rd density. Nya, nya.

V. You have complete free will, but, well, it's complicated because all these other asshole ET's are screwing around with you. But we can't interfere, because you let them do it. Even though you don't know about it. Or understand it.

V. You're holding back the whole galaxy shifting into 5th dimension. Some of the races are getting pretty impatient. A couple of them are even truly pissed and would just as soon assimilate you as put up with you. I shouldn't be telling you this, it affects my karma.

V. It all has to do with the Zambooneans and the Vaaltones. Millions of years ago, your ancesters were vermin on one of their ships. Similar to how rats or roaches travel around the world in your present oceangoing vessels.

V. We all do admire the way you procreate. In all the universe, the beast with two backs exists only here. It has been much observed and admired. Some races are trying to mix their DNA with yours in order to develope a similar function. What you would call lust. Got a big write up in "Evonews" back about 25 million years ago.

V. Trying to "do better" is a curse/bad. Everyone is always trying to Do Better, instead of being happy with the now.