-Why is Garfield like a leak bathtub?
-You can never fill him up.

-Why did Garfield take a ruler to bed?
-To see how long he slept.

-Why did God creat dogs?
-So warthogs would have something to laugh at.

-Why are dogs like nails?
-They both need a good whack on the head!

-Why is Garfield like a secret agent?
-He's usually under cover.

-Why did Garfield take a bath after stealing Odie's dinner?
-He wanted to make a clean getaway.

-Why is Garfield like a flower?
-He's usually found in a bed.

-Why does Garfield attack the mailman?
-He doesn't think dogs should have all the fun!

-Why is Garfield like a comet?
-They are both stars that have tails.

-Why was Garfield hissing at the tree?
-Because it was a dogwood.

-Why does Garfield spend so much time sleeping?
-Because he can.

-Why do hockey players wear helmets?
-In case they bump heads as they're picking up their teeth.

-Why is Garfield at the beach like Christmas?
-They both have sandy claws.

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