Winter=inclement weather=poor driving conditions= something for me to complain about

            I seem to be on the road quite frequently. I cannot lie, I love my car. It seems like such an American cliché, and yes I usually do my best to avoid those. But hear me I love my car (mind you I am not closed off to other ways of transportation...yay for walking!)

I am a pizza delivery person, and quiet possibly the best pizza delivery person that has ever lived. It is quite an illustrious career, and it affords me more time in my car. I am also a student who has to commute about 30 minutes to get to my school. Though I am just 18, I feel that I am a very experienced driver. Driving tends to be an enjoyable experience for me most of the time, until the stupidity of the general populace comes creeping in, ruining it completely.

Now I am a level-headed person, but I am sick and tired of people weaving through traffic going 90 miles an hour. I honestly don’t believe that you are that much more important than I am. When you fly by me on the hellishly icy, snow-covered, Minnesota roads I pray for you to skid off course and end up in a ditch somewhere, leaving you bleeding, or better yet to suffer there for a night of sub zero temperatures until some one realizes you are gone, but I am rarely lucky enough for that to happen. Maybe after a punishment like this you would see the error in your ways. Unfortunately I probably will never have that satisfaction, but I can usually laugh at you when we both get stopped at the same light 5 miles down the road. I can there, with a clean conscience, knowing that I haven’t endangered the lives of others, point and laugh at you to my hearts content.

This is what angers me the most. (along with you damn drunk drivers as well) I don’t care if you want to be stupid and take your own life into your hands, but please leave the decision of my own life and death in my hands. This is what I fear most. Me driving cautiously and carefully on dreadful Minnesota roads, losing my life to you, because you were to ignorant to realize that you had to compensate for the weather and leave your house early in order to get to work on time. Or me silently driving a clear starry night away, thinking about my future, and the one I love, and how this person makes me whole and complete, only to have these thoughts interrupted by your bright headlights headed straight toward me and my beautiful music of thoughts halted by the sound screeching of tires and breaking glass. There I will die, at your hands, and at your stupidity. I will remain forever just a name on a cross on top of a lonely hill on the side of a gently curving road, never being able to see my future, or the ones I love again.

And of course, to you reading this, this would never be you, would it? Please consider the consequences of your actions (stupidity) always. If you meet a pizza delivery guy on the road in blizzard conditions and he seems to be going too slow for you, just sit back and relax turn up the music and enjoy the ride Realize he is only doing his job and trust me he has a hell of a lot further to go than you do. Don’t go crazy and try to pass in the blinding snow, because if you lose it, you are endangering what may be the greatest pizza delivery person that ever lived.

While there is little I can do to deter the stupidity of the entire population, I can warn and advise against it. Also please note: If you see a 1995 Black Ford Explorer and you try to pass in these conditions, don’t be surprised if you get flicked off, but don’t be offended I am only trying to educate you. I would love to hunt you down and give you the address to this essay; if you are in a ditch it will be much easier for me.