September 21, 2003
      Hello again. This fucked up the first time 'cause the newest member (you'll read about later) sent me a link when I was almost done with this damn thing, and I fucking clicked on it like an idiot and lost all that I was working on when the link opened in my current browser. So you'll probably get a short version. I don't know. Anyways, we got news. No shit, right? My computer's working again as you can see. All I did was delete Internet Explorer, and it started working again without losing anything. And I think I found the culprit and deleted it. So it's all cool now. And I guess I haven't been updating as often as I thought. Sorry. And I noticed when I was updating the news section that this site has been around for over a year now. So that makes the concept of Different Situations over a year old. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DIFFERENT SITUATIONS SITE!!! Anyways, I made a few updates to the site so let's get to it.
      First off, remember that "2nd Guitarist Bio" that was in the Bios section that said we were looking for a second guitarist? Well, that thing finally snagged one in. Holly's friend from Kane, Kyle Baker, offered to play guitar for us. So he's the new member of Different Situations. I asked him to make up a bio so go check it out in the Bios section. Also, I have most of Casey's bio up now so go check that out when you're there too. I also updated the History a little for the addition of Kyle. So check that out if you want. The only other update I made (I think since I don't know since Kyle fucked up the real update for me) is I added a banner advertising for the upcoming Blink 182 album below this update section and right above the poll.
      Speaking of the poll, this last poll sucked. I got 3 freakin' votes on the thing! Last time, we had 66. You guys suck. How am I gonna make a judgment on the type of punk most of the people that come to this site listen to with only three votes? But of course, the three people that voted are probably the only people that come to this site anymore so it was a worthless cause and pointless poll. Anyways, here are the results. The poll asked "Which band do you like the most?" and the majority said "Blink 182" with 2 (66%) of the votes. That's what I expected from the people that still come to the site. The only other vote-getter was "Thrice" with 1 (33%) of the votes. So the ones that didn't get any votes were "Running Scared," "Different Situations" (HEY!), "Zero Point One," "Sick of It All," "A.F.I.," "Face to Face," "Anti-Flag," and "Other." So that's it for that poll. I put a new poll up about our newest member Kyle. Go vote on that one! Thanks! This one's more fun than the last one so have fun with it.
      Well, I think that's it for this time, although I can't be sure because I lost the entire first thing of this. Go check out the messageboard because it's been quite active lately! Keep voting! And the next time that I update this thing will probably be to add more lyrics to some new songs. So you know the drill. Until next time...

P.S.
      Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor! It's your pal Al here. Well, as Jason said above, the site is celebrating it's one year existance. So I got together with the rest of the DS Staff for a party on the day of the anniversary itself. I brought Tipper, and when I bring Tipper to a party, I have to be the designated driver. So I can tell you the whole story from the eyes of a sober man. First of all, it started off kind of dull because I was telling people about my views on global warming and industrialization. And then Tipper found the booze and flashed everyone to save them from my talk. I got a boner right then, but I was sorta mad at Tipper for that. Anyways, the night went on. The Old Man was telling stories, as usual. They were even more incoherent since he was drunk. Grandma was making out with everyone that was laying around drunk. She even tricked Little Timmy into having sex with her. Timmy said "Grandma, that makes my wee wee feel strange." Dubois was hitting on the guys. And he got Timmy's friend Steve Gimpson, Cock-Eyed the Pirate (who I thought could hold his booze better), Ralph Wigum, Dick Jizzum, and Mr. Antiques all drunk enough to go home with him. What happened after that? I couldn't say. Anyways, the Insane Man from North Warren showed up for a little bit, but then these guys in white suits zapped him with a cattle prod, put him in a straight jacket, and left with him. Reverend Joe was getting drunk on church wine and preaching to everyone that Satan drives 65 mph so they should go under that speed limit on the way home. Mr. Hand was in the bathroom all night. Tipper told me he was giving out favors to everyone, whatever that means. Apeman made a mess of the house. Harry Pothead came out of this one room that must have had a shower in it 'cause there was a lot of steam that came out when he left it. Tim shouted at Coolman, who flew through the wall. We didn't see him the rest of the night. The Stressed Men just drank a lot all night. Well, until the one Stressed Man's head exploded. Ugly Bastard Jones and Nine Finger Johnson were trying to do weird stuff to the house pets and then went into a back room after Chunky Monkey flashed ape tits at them. Captain Dameninski, Lieutenant Burtov, Hotler, and Stilin devised some plan to blow the house up as a gag, but Dr. Weng Wonge, who was drunk, mistook them for patients and must have shot them up with too much of whatever he had in the syringe 'cause they were passed out the rest of the night. Well, most of the people were. Nippy Spanyolia and Swish from Sweden just argued whether basketball or hockey was better. F and Q made me a member of their gang, shot Little Timmy Tucker in the head two or three times, and then fucked my wife. They did some drinking too. News from the Source just wrote a lot about what happened. He probably wrote some article about the whole thing in the hockey newsletter. Those things are hilarious. Possessed Boy got so drunk he threw up pea soup all over Buddy Lee's pants, which didn't even stain. Those are some nice pants. And the Dink Dinks just dink dink-ed all night until they passed out with the rest. So that's my story of the DS site Anniversary party. I can't wait until next year. Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor!
      Hey, Farmer? Do you remember the party...yea, I's remembers askin' everyone dere what's hockey, but we always got de same answer...yes, they all said, "Is hockey a new type of drink? Give me a hockey on the rocks!" And then I do not really remember if we got an answer because I got drunk on my tequila...yea, an' den I started drinkin' beer and passed out too...so we should ask again...WHAT'S HOCKEY?
      Yo, mo fo!...dis is F...and Q. And together we are...F AND Q IN THE HEY-OUSE!...So you homeys, want to know what's hockey?...man, give me a hockey stick, and I'll crack you up-side the head with it...yea, I'll ram that ma fucker up yer ass, bitch...yo, Q, you be fucking some bitches tonight?...I hears that, F. I got two fine bitches to fuck tonight...hook a brother up, man....yeah, fuck you! I gots me a three-way, no room for mo cock, you gay fucker...man, that's it, bitch! I'm gonna bust a cap in yo ass!!!........
      No more white ebonics. It all sounds like shit to me, Farmer...yea, they're wat de boss calls posers. Dat's enuff of dat conversation. Uh-oh...what is it, Farmer?...de party's startin' ta catch up ta my blatter. Cover fur me while I go piss it empty...But Farmer, I do not know what to say while you are gone? Farmer? Um, hello. Maybe we should ask another person...
      Hockey? I do not care for hockey. I am Swish from Sweden, and Basketball is for me. I am the greatest basketball player you will ever know at 5'9". I am unstoppable! I do not care what Nippy Spanyolia tells you. Hockey sucks. Do not waste your time trying to figure out what wussy hockey is. Come and enjoy my skill of basketball. I will dazzle you...
      I have had enough of that guy. How about you? Yes, we are talking now. This is progress. Uh, let us ask one more while the Farmer is urinating...
      Hi, Mexican. You know you want to help me out of here. The Farmer told you to leave me in here, but he's not around right now, Mexican. You gotta help me out, man! You don't know what they do to you in here. You saw those guys beat me up at the party, right? You gotta get me out of here. If you get me out of here, I'll tell you what hockey is. Ha. Ha, ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FOOL! YOU THINK I WOULD ACTUALLY TELL YOU?!?!?! YOU'RE MORE INSANE THAN I AM!!! NO!!! NOW, YOU WON'T LET ME OUT!!! DAMN YOU, MIND!!! I NEED MY PILL AGAIN!!! WHERE'S MY PILL!?!?!?! PPPPPIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
      Oh freaking A, man! Now, I know how the Farmer feels every time he gets Insane Man from North Warren....I'm a back. Wud I'd miss?...nothing again. Just the Insane Man talking crazy and Swish from Sweden boosting about how good he is at basketball, whatever that has to do with anything....I just thoughta sometin'!!! Basketball! Hockey! Dey are both sometin' we don't know much about...yes, Farmer. Let us try to fix one of those...right, so we ast if anyone out dere knows...WHAT'S HOCKEY?
(From the ever-growing DS Staff Members: Jason, Al, Little Timmy, Old Man, Grandma, Dubois, Insane Man from North Warren, Mr. Hand, Steve Gimpson, Reverend Joe, Cock-Eyed the Pirate, Buddy Lee, Apeman, the Mexican and the Farmer, Ralph Wigum, Dick Jizzum, Harry Pothead, Dr. Weng Wonge, Coolman and Tim, Mr. Antiques, the Stressed Men, Ugly Bastard Jones, Nine Finger Johnson, Captain Dameninski, Lieutenant Burtov, Hotler and Stilin, Nippy Spanyolia, F and Q, Swish from Sweden, Chunky Monkey, News from the Source, Possessed Boy, and the Dink Dinks)