October 12, 2003
      Hello there. There's a lot of stuff to cover so let's get right to it.
      I made a ton of updates. I added Holly's lyrics to "Eulogy (Holly's Song)" and old lyrics I had of mine to "No Hope (A Parody of A New Hope)," "Penis (It's About Vaginas)," "Shoot Me in the Head 'Cause I'm a Stupid Moron," "The Water Is Wide," and "Weird," along with a newer one called "Fa Cough" to the lyrics section. So check all of that out! Plus, I found that I used up all the good Kevin Smith movie quotes. So I downloaded enough other ones so that I'm probably good for eternity. So turn up the volume for the sounds on those new lyrics pages! It's good stuff from a bunch of different movies and TV shows. And I used to think our old messageboard was okay. I got it from the old Wasting Time site 'cause I knew it was free. And then Kyle showed me this cool messageboard that I thought cost money, but it didn't. So he decided to split the messageboard into two main threads for his two bands. So now there's a new one with a thread for Optimus Prime and another for Different Situations. It'll be like that until Kyle makes two separate ones for each band I guess. So for now, take your pick of the old messageboard or the new one when you click on the messageboard page now. When we finally have our own of the new one, I might just move the old messageboard to the News section or something. I don't know yet, but isn't Kyle awesome? We'll discuss that later when we get to the results of the last poll. ;) Also, I added another banner/tile to this page for "The Leaving Song Pt. II" video by A.F.I. Check that out if you'd like.
      Speaking of banners, I just wanted to mention that two of the banners I had put on this page are now updated with some really cool info! The Blink 182 one actually has a a new single from their new album that you can play. Check it out! It's called "Feeling This," and it actually doesn't sound like a Blink 182 song because it doesn't sound like old school pop-skate-punk. This song sounds completely different. I don't know if I like it yet or not. It sounds like some sort of emo-ish new pop-punk stuff. Maybe a little bit of Thursday in there. Thrice maybe. I don't know how to describe it 'cause I don't listen to that new crap, which is why I'm not sure I'll like this new sound. But maybe it'll make more people say they like Blink 182 now, you bastards. Anyways, the other one is in the Unwritten Law one. They updated on some info about how they're recording now, which I think is neat. They mention something like each new album is painful yet creative or something to that extent: "it's like giving birth." Which is a cool analogy! Check it out!!!
      Alright, now on to the poll. That last poll kicked ass so much that I'm gonna do the same thing for all the band members. The one that I just put up is for Holly. So check that out and let us know what you think of Nurse Satan. ;) Next poll's going to be about me, and then we'll work through the other three (maybe four for Al) members. Anyways, here are the results of the last poll. We got 21 votes for this one! The poll asked "Kyle Baker is" and the majority said "The Father of My Baby" with 9 (42%) of the votes. Wow, Kyle!!! You've been busy, man. ;D Second place was "DS's New Second Guitarist" with 4 (19%) of the votes. Right, that's true! Third place was a tie between "Ugly" and "Someone Who Can Fuck Himself" both with 3 (14%) of the votes each. Not a very happy pair, but nokay. And last place was a tie between "Huh?" and "I Don't Care" both with 1 (4%) of the votes each. Both indifferent votes. Interesting. So that leaves "Hot," "Smart," "Stupid," and "Some Guy" with no votes. So that's it for that poll. Keep voting! Thanks!
      One or two last things. I have this class this semester called Electronic Music. And it's basically for learning how to record music and make it using electronic devices. Duuuhhh! Well, this lets us access to the EM Lab, which is like a recording studio. Well, on Friday, I started making a GOOD recording of "Catch Her in the Rye." I didn't get very far at all 'cause I gotta do all the producing and recording and playing myself. So I ran into a few difficulties, but it's going at least. I'll let you know when I finish something truly worthy, and then I'll probably put it up on the site for all y'all. Also, I might try recording some newer stuff in there if I get the chance. We'll see. I'm just working on trying to write new stuff just in general, when I have time. So if I do, I'll update and put some newer lyrics for you on here. I keep coming up with different lines and stuff that are awesome. I just need to make a song or more than one out of all that mess. So keep checking back!
      Well, I'm pretty sure that's it for this time. Keep checking out the messageboard because it's been quite active lately! Keep voting! And the next time that I update this thing will probably be to add more lyrics to some new songs I HOPE. So you know the drill. Until next time...

P.S.
      Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor! It's your pal Al here. I don't really have all that much to talk about this week. But I noticed something. How come everyone stopped bashing Bush like they used to? I mean everyone hated him and let it be known, and I heard tons of people saying "Not My President" and stuff like that. What happened? Don't forget, friendidily endilies, that he stole the presidency from yours truly....THAT FUCKING BASTARD!!! I mean not that I hold grudges or anything. I just thought maybe you guys should. Or maybe they're just not talking about that because they're talking about Arnold Schwartzenegger becoming the Governor of California. I personally would have voted from the guy from T.S.O.L., but that's just me, friendidly endilies. I mean how fucked up has this country become when we let Austrian (hey, AlxPx!) body builders gone cheesy movie stars become someone of substantial importance in the whole scheme of politics. And how about letting an idiot son of an asshole from the low breeders in Texas steal the presidency for an upstanding Harvard graduate like myself? Just think about that. Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor!
      Hey, Farmer? Do you think that I could run for governor of Texas and win?...yea, I's thinks you could. I mean Bush won, right?...yes, that is true...hell, even I could win 'er...yes, that is true too. You know what I would have people vote for first when I became governor?...I tink I know where'a'yer goin' wit dis. We would both ast for people ta vote on...WHAT'S HOCKEY?
      Hello, I am the Chunky Monkey. I'm fat and lazy, and I like lots of sex. Yes, sex is good for me. Those two Australian boys you talked about last time were FFFIIIINNNNEEE. Oooo-yeah! Oo-oo-oo Ah! Ah! Ah! They were wild in bed. They let me give them the "banana split," if you know what I mean. Hee-hee-hoo-hoo Ah! Ah! We made the bedroom sound like one huge jungle, baby. Ah! Ah! Aaaaahhhhhh!!! I'm sorry. What was the question?
      Oh damn, Farmer. Chunky Monkey turns me on...ya idiot! Yous gots a thing fur da animals. Ya and yer stupid donkey....you leave the donkey out of this, Farmer!!!...alright, fine. But just know dat Chunky Monkey has a Chunky Monkey.................I mean Chunky Monkey has de male parts...oh, well so? The donkey has male parts too...euww, don't say dat. You almorst made me swaller my tabacci!...sorry, Farmer. Let us ask someone else before I get too horny...
      Hello, boys. You know me. It's News from the Source. Your source for rebel street hockey newsletters. Being a rebel, I have no contracts and refuse to work for the league. And I bring you the hockey news straight up how it's played. But I've known you two for years. You've written for my newsletter for a long time. And I know since I'm not bound by legal contracts, I could and should tell you what hockey is. It would be easy. But since I've known you two for so long, I know that if I told you exactly what hockey is nice and slow so you'd understand, you still wouldn't get it. So I'm not going to even bother. In other news, the Mexican and the Farmer are fucking idiots.
      Hey dere!!!...that was not very nice, huh, Farmer?...yer darn right, ya idiot...what are you calling me an idiot for? You are just as much of an asshole as he is!!!...dat's it, Mexicani! I'a have taken yer shit dis long, and I'm a not about ta take any more!!!...PREPARE TO DIE, FARMER!!!...I'M A GONNA RUB YER FACE IN MANURE, MEXICANI!!!...
      I remember writing for News from the Source. That was back in the day where I was the super smart one. Now, I don't even try because look who gets the main spotlight? TWO FUCKING IDIOTS!!! AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I'M INSANE!?!?!?! I GOTTA WORK UNDER TWO FUCKING IDIOTS!!! AT LEAST WITH NEWS FROM THE SOURCE I HAD SOMEONE WHO HAD SOME FUCKING BRAINS!!! BUT NOW, IT'S THE MEXICAN AND THE FARMER?!?!?! AL'S RIGHT! THE WORLD'S FUCKED!!!...WHERE'S MY PILL!?!?!?! PPPPPIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
      Oh, my sombrero...oh, man, I woulda radder listened ta de Insane Man from North Warren bash us agin dis week...right, Farmer. Let us not fight again because we both hurt at the end...yea, but I did kick yer ass...No, I kicked your ass, Farmer...no, ya didn't...DO YOU WANT TO DIE AGAIN, FARMER!?!?!...BRING IT, YOU MEXICANI TURD!!!... hahahahahahahahahahaha...well, we almorst found out wat hockey was from News from the Source...yes, Farmer. We will have to try to break him this week...right, and we only got two more staff members ta ast...right, I guess we have to leave by asking once again if anybody out there can tell us...WHAT'S HOCKEY?
(From the ever-growing DS Staff Members: Jason, Al, Little Timmy, Old Man, Grandma, Dubois, Insane Man from North Warren, Mr. Hand, Steve Gimpson, Reverend Joe, Cock-Eyed the Pirate, Buddy Lee, Apeman, the Mexican and the Farmer, Ralph Wigum, Dick Jizzum, Harry Pothead, Dr. Weng Wonge, Coolman and Tim, Mr. Antiques, the Stressed Men, Ugly Bastard Jones, Nine Finger Johnson, Captain Dameninski, Lieutenant Burtov, Hotler and Stilin, Nippy Spanyolia, F and Q, Swish from Sweden, Chunky Monkey, News from the Source, Possessed Boy, and the Dink Dinks)