November 23, 2003
      Well, I'm about due for a site update. And that's just what I did. So it's all cool and stuff now. I had to catch up on quite a few changes so let's get started right away again.
      I made a bunch of updates. First off, I added a link to Kyle's other band's, Optimus Prime's, site to the links page. So check that out if you'd like. I also reordered the page a little. I took off the tile on this page for the Leaving Song Pt. II video by A.F.I. 'cause they're working on a new one now. So yeah. But I added the Rufio newsring and just messed around with the arrangement of the banners. So check that stuff out if you're really bored. I added a new bio for the guy that's supposed to play the Al Gore part for us, Chris Lundgren. So check him out under the cool people's bios. And we might move him to the band bios later on, if he gets better at his job. ;) Also, I changed it up so when you click on the messageboard it goes straight to the new messageboard because that's now our OWN messageboard, as Kyle will be making a new one for his other band. I moved the old messageboard, if anybody cares, to the News section of the site. Lastly, for the updates, I just "finished" making, recording, producing, and putting onto a CD the song "Catch Her in the Rye" from what I was doing in the studio (Electronic Music lab) here at college. I have two versions of the song up in the Music section. So check that out and read what I wrote about them. It'll explain what I don't have time and space to re-explain here. Just know they're titled studio CRAP. Enough said.
      In other news, I'd just like to pay a little tribute to one of my favorite bands, Face to Face, who recently broke up. R.I.P. Face to Face 1991-2003. Also, if you haven't gotten the new Blink 182 CD or if you have and want to know what other people think about it, check out the messageboard. I posted an article I was writing for the school newspaper about it. The only other thing I need to catch you up on is that on November 1st, I was home and went to a show in Kane with Kyle and Holly. So I met Kyle for the first time. That was cool. We played around a little on guitar and stuff, and Kyle thinks I'm better than he is. Nokay..... Anyways, I met his band. That was cool. Met some other people and saw some really cool bands. Holly was pissed 'cause Giving Chase didn't show up, and that was her last chance to see her cousin Brian before they were going out on a national tour. But the highlight of the show would have been these four things: 1) Reusable tampons. 2) Cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend. 3) "You're just a jock. You're just a jock. You're just a FUCK YOU!" 4) Everybody wants to bone the lead singer of Westgate.
      Alright, now on to the poll. Last poll was a continuation of the theme of what do you think of our band members. That one was for Holly. The poll I just put up is for what you think of me. Be kind or speak your mind. I don't care. Just vote. Thanks. Next poll's going to be about Dwayne Edgar I think, and then we'll get to the other members later. Anyways, here are the results of the last poll. We got 17 votes for this one. Good job, guys. The poll asked "Holly Dougherty is" and the majority said "The Cause of All My Wet Dreams" with 4 (23%) of the votes. Ah, that's no surprise. I mean, ah, really? Holly gives people wet dreams? I was unaware of that. Second place was a tie between "Horny" and "Someone That Can Fuck Off" both with 3 (17%) of the votes. I think it's pretty obvious that Holly's horny, but you guys can be a little bit nice to her at least without her raping you. ;) Third place was a tie between "Hot" and "Legally Insane" both with 2 (11%) of the votes each. Both so true and reminds me of Osker - because they were in the movie and on the soundtrack for "Crazy/ Beautiful." ;) And last place was a tie between "Ugly," "A Spoiled Stubborn Shit," and "Someone That Can Fuck Me" all with 1 (5%) of the votes each. I voted for one of those, but I bet you can't guess which one. ;) So that leaves "Who?" and "That Girl in this Band" with no votes. Good job! So that's it for that poll. Keep voting! Thanks!
      One more thing. The band might be practicing in the weeks to come because we might have a show for over Christmas break. That would be neat! We'll see. Kyle's working some things out, and I'll keep you informed. I might post more updates about this more often on the messageboard, so keep an eye on that.
      Well, I think that's it for this time. Keep checking out the messageboard because it's always active. Keep voting! And the next time that I update this thing it better be to add those lyrics to new songs I keep promising you. So yeah. You know the drill. Until next time...

P.S.
      Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor! It's your pal Al here. Nothing political's going on lately. Bush is still an idiot, and I'm still growing a beard 'cause I'm just a fat and lazy American like the rest of us. It's getting to be that time of the year, though. Where all those religious and nice holidays that you normally love come around as political and capitalistic as Alan Greenspan running for President. It's where Christmas is advertised on the 4th of July, and Thanksgiving is only a holiday because we give you the day off to watch football and parades you don't even like but there's nothing else good on and to eat lots of food we sell to you at high prices 'cause turkey goes fast on Thanksgiving day. So when you're opening the latest super up-to-date electronic device from Radio Shack for your Christmas present that has batteries sold separately, or you're ready to take a nice nap Thanksgiving night after watching TV all day and eating turkey until you're ready to crap stuffing out, just remember who you have to thank (and vote for Al Gore next time around for President.) Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor!
      Ah man, Farmer, we could not pry an answer from that News from the Source this last week....yea, I's knows it, Mexicani. And we a only gots two staff members left ta ast...we better find out this time then...WHAT'S HOCKEY?
      DDDDDDDDDDDDHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH MMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE HHHHOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNHHH!!!! Oh, no, this is SAAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAAAN! Please, help me, Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd. No, this is SAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAAAN! Well, I can at least tell you that hockey is DDDDDDDDDDDDHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH MMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE HHHHOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNHHH!!!! Did you get that?
      Gol dern it!!! Why did Possessed Boy have ta be one a de last members left?....right, Farmer. We will not be able to get an answer from him....yea, le's try someone else cuz we a gots ta find out this time...
      Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink, dink dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink, dink dink dink dink dink dink dink. Dink dink dink dink dink dink?
      What in da hell was dat?....Those were the Dink Dinks, Farmer....No, shit, Mexicani....do not you start with me, Farmer!....sorry, Mexicani, but I'm a just stressed dat dis is de last time dat we might find out wat hockey is...I know, Farmer. Well, we will not find that out from the Dink Dinks. That is sure, although they might have told us the right answer....yea, well, we do have one more ta ast. But we all know who dat is....oh please, Insane Man from North Warren, please tell us what hockey is, please. You are our last hope....
      Ha, ha, ha, ha! So it all comes down to me, eh, Mexican and Farmer? I knew it would end like this. Just you and me. Mono y mono. One huge brain versus two half brains. And I would be kind and tell you because I feel sorry for you. But then I think back to all the times when we were writing for News from the Source and all the times you asked me this same question on here. And well, YOU TREATED ME LIKE SHIT!!! I'M NOT TELLING YOU SHIT!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HOCKEY IS!!! HA, HA, HA! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME TO CONFESS THAT I WAS THE SECOND GUNMAN ON THE GRASSY KNOLL!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHERE'S MY PILL!?!?!?! PPPPPIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
      Stupid Mexicani, I knew you shoulda been more kind ta 'im...me? Farmer, what about you? You are the one that makes fun of him all the time...no, Mexicani, that's you....that is it. You know what, I am glad this is the last time we are doing this segment because I do not like you, Farmer...well, same ere, ya dumb Mexicani!!! Although, ya do plant corn pretty fast...and you are nice company...and you treat all de animals nicely. Especially dat donkey, even though you treat it too nicely....and you are nice to have sex with while you sleep at night...WHAT?!?!?!....um, I was just kidding, Farmer....YOU! Well, I'll say, Mexicani. Dat was de first good joke dat you ever came up wit. You're a not dat bad.....Thank you, Farmer...well, dis is goodbye to all y'all out dere 'cause de boss is fiering us since we alriddy ast all de staff members...right, and he is replacing all of this next time with a single comment from a single staff member or two...yea, whoever wants ta speak...besides us, maybe....well, fur one last time fur a while, we're a gonna ast dis...and if anyone out there can tell us the answer, please let us know sometime...WHAT'S HOCKEY? -The Mexican and the Farmer signing off
(From the ever-growing DS Staff Members: Jason, Al, Little Timmy, Old Man, Grandma, Dubois, Insane Man from North Warren, Mr. Hand, Steve Gimpson, Reverend Joe, Cock-Eyed the Pirate, Buddy Lee, Apeman, the Mexican and the Farmer, Ralph Wigum, Dick Jizzum, Harry Pothead, Dr. Weng Wonge, Coolman and Tim, Mr. Antiques, the Stressed Men, Ugly Bastard Jones, Nine Finger Johnson, Captain Dameninski, Lieutenant Burtov, Hotler and Stilin, Nippy Spanyolia, F and Q, Swish from Sweden, Chunky Monkey, News from the Source, Possessed Boy, and the Dink Dinks)