March 12, 2004
      Long time, no updates. Well, I did quite a few this time. So things should be on course for the site again. Let's get right to it, shall we?
      First off, I'd just like to retract what I said about Kyle and Holly being a couple. I guess it's really not my business to post that kind of stuff in the updates. That's what the messageboard is for. Read it on there 'cause that's where all the gossip is sure to occur. Now, to speak of the messageboard, we had a little problem. Last update, I put a brand new messageboard up so we could have unlimited space for saving threads. I asked Kyle when I put this board up if it was going to be the last time I had to change it. Here's what he said, and I quote: "yeah this will be the last time unless the server like simultaneousley implodes." Well, the board was kicking ass and up for about a week or two. Then the site was down for a bit, and it never came back up. I put this messageboard now in the place of the second messageboard in the news section and put the old second board back up for our messageboard. At least it works. I don't know if my Freeburg luck had to do with it or if Kyle just jinxed himself, but he must have been right about the server simultaneously imploding 'cause his other band (Optimus Prime)'s site was on the same server. And you couldn't get to that either. And Kyle said the main page for the server was down too. So we think that stuff's all gone for good. Maybe we'll try to find a better unlimited space server in the future, but for now, the old board works fine. Holly also had me update her bio, so check that out. And I added pictures of her and Kyle into the Pictures section so check that out too. And lastly, I messed around with the order of stuff on the links page if you're really bored.
      Alright, now on to the poll once again. Last poll was a continuation of the theme of what do you think of our band members. This last one was for Dwayne. The poll I just put up is for what you think of Mike Zickefoose. Have fun with this one, and let's get more votes than the 6 we got for Dwayne. Thanks. Next poll's going to be about Casey Roberts, and maybe Chris after that. Anyways, here are the results of the last poll. We got 6 votes for this one, like I said. That's sort of disappointing, but I'm sure you'll do better this time, guys. The poll asked "Dwayne Edgar is" and the majority was a tie between "Sexy" and "This Guy's in this Band?" with 2 (33%) of the votes each. Good call on both accounts. Last place was a tie between "The Punkest MoFo I Ever Seen" and "Unsure if He's in the Band" both with 1 (16%) of the votes each. Again, both of these are true. ;) So that leaves "Ugly," "Stupid," "An Awesome Drummer" (which I think deserved a few votes), "No, seriously, who?," "Someone I Want to Bone" (which I thought was gonna get at least one vote but didn't), and "Someone That Can Fuck Off" with no votes. Thanks to those that voted. So that's it for that poll. Keep the votes coming for this poll! Thanks!
      Well, I think that's it for this time. Check out the messageboard and get it going again. Keep voting! And the next time that I update this thing it better say something about a show or a practice or something, Goddammit! So yeah. You know the drill. Until next time...

P.S.
      Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor! It's your pal Al here. Well, it's 2004, and there's already talk about the presidential race. I know very well all about this dealy, and although it may look simplistic, it's a very important dealy because it means who's gonna be the President of the U.S. And even though you think you have it won, it doesn't mean the right man's gonna get in office. You have to have the right connections and the skills to get all sorts of dead people to vote. I made the mistake of trying to play fair when it came to election time. And I'm an honest man so that's why I knew I couldn't run again this year. Besides, it's my place to do the dances for Different Situations. But do you really want President Bush (THAT FUCKING DICKHEAD IDIOT SON OF A FUCKING ASSHOLE, GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKER!!!) in office for another four years? I don't think so. That's why it's important for everyone to get out there and vote for the Democrats this year. We're really the only party that has a chance in hell of getting Bush (THAT COCK-SUCKING ASS MUNCHING DUMBASS SON OF A BITCH!!!) out of office. So be sure to vote for us and make sure that you get some of your dead relatives in on the voting. Thank you, friendidily endilies. Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor!
      Ah, ah, that reminds me of a story. It was back back, way back, I mean I can't even remember half the stuff from back then, in the year 2000. And back then, I decided to run for the President of the United States of America. So I got out and I, I started doing that campaign crap. Ya know, that bologne they make you do before the elections. Everyone knows that you don't need that, man. I mean al...eve...people just vote ah ah who they think looks pretty and talks the best, ya know? I mean who the hell cares about issues? I've got bigger problems with my bowel movements. What do I care about issues? So so so, I decided to run with someone for Vice President that would get the job done. I, I, he would fill in all the crap I didn't have. So he'd be the opposite of me. I'm old and smart and chubby and don't care about the issues. So I decided to run with a young, stupid, skinny, person that give a shit sonny named Little Timmy Tucker. Now people said, I mean they thought, ah hell, Timmy's a freakin' idiot, man. But I thought that'd appeal to aaaaaall every, to a bunch of people. So we started going around with those poster thingers. You know the ones that say "Old Man/ Little Timmy 2000" to a bunch of retirement homes 'cause I had this idea. I decided, I wanted, I thought it was a good idea to go around to all the old people's places and crap and put our signs up out front. Now, being an old person, I know that they would be too lazy to get up and move the signs and stuff. So when it came election day, they would vote for us 'cause 'cause they forget things. And and they would see these signs when the voter crap came around and decide that's a good vote 'cause 'cause the signs are are, it's a good vote. So in the middle of the campaign, the second day, I had to to to, Timmy's hand was in the way and and and I stabbed him with the sign. And at that moment, some TV crew was driving by and caught me stabbing Little Timmy in the hand and calling him a friggin' idiot, man. I know I was done for then. The press would have a field day with that so I decided to back out. And I went home. I wonder what ever happened to that sonny Little Timmy Tucker. Ah, who cares. And that's my story.
(From the ever-growing DS Staff Members: Jason, Al, Little Timmy, Old Man, Grandma, Dubois, Insane Man from North Warren, Mr. Hand, Steve Gimpson, Reverend Joe, Cock-Eyed the Pirate, Buddy Lee, Apeman, the Mexican and the Farmer, Ralph Wigum, Dick Jizzum, Harry Pothead, Dr. Weng Wonge, Coolman and Tim, Mr. Antiques, the Stressed Men, Ugly Bastard Jones, Nine Finger Johnson, Captain Dameninski, Lieutenant Burtov, Hotler and Stilin, Nippy Spanyolia, F and Q, Swish from Sweden, Chunky Monkey, News from the Source, Possessed Boy, and the Dink Dinks)