February 25, 2003
      Hey, everybody! Now, that all the crappy big updates are probably done for a bit, I can talk to you about less serious matters. So is anybody still reading this? Hey! Put some pants on. God, I don't want to see that when I'm bringing you an update. Ah, did you have to go and do that too? Alright, the faster, the better. I mean with getting this news update done, you sick fuck.
      Alright, first off, I promised to change the poll every week or so. I have not failed you. Go vote to let us know what you think of Holly. I already voted for "All of the Above." What? I don't care. It's not a secret ballot that means a damn. Anyways, thanks to the 7 people that helped out on the last poll. What you had to say was good news for the new band name. Three people (42%) said they liked the new band name, two people (28%) want me to suck their dick, one person (14%) didn't care, and one person (14%) wants Holly to fuck him (or her). Sounds like lots of love and pleasure going on.
      Also, I added another name to the illustrious (yes, I said "illustrious") Bios. Check out Mike Zickefoose under the Bios section. And keep an eye out for his band in the future. But if you can read this, you definitely can go to THE DAMN BIOS PAGE AND READ IT THERE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Oh sorry. I didn't mean to yell.
      In other news, the band that I should have met in person and that I won tickets to their show but couldn't go, damn you all (see "The Old Man's Story Thread" under the messageboard for more), Rufio has got a new E.P. out TODAY!!! Go get it. I probably won't get mine for a little while because I preordered my copy. Damn shipping. But rush out and pick up their Nitro Records (I fucking love this label....um, yeah, I'm not biased) debut and first release in about 3 years I believe.
      Alright, that's about it. I'm headed home on spring break this weekend, which means lots of sex for everyone....except Sundays through Saturdays. Sorry. But hey, this was fun. And to make it more interesting, I think I'll leave it off with a P.S. from the staff here at the D.S. site. Enjoy!

P.S.
      Punkley Dunkley, Neighbors! We've finally got a name now so I can tell all the squirrels back in Tenessee that I'm dancing for Different Situations and that I invented the acorn. Well, I've got to get back to.....well, lately, a whole lot of nothing. But I can talk to the squirrels some more and have sex with my first cousin. There's so many great things to do in Tenessee! Until next time, Punkley Dunkley, Neighbors!
      Hi dere, everybady....It is the Mexican and the Farmer here.....yea, I just a wanna say dat da site's so cool dat it almorst made me swaller my tabacci...When I saw it, I was giving head to the donkey and almost choked..................What?....You stupid, sick damn Mexicani. I thought I told yer to stop with the ass cock suckin'.....But I love the donkey, Farmer.....Eww, that's disgusting....No, your tabacci is disgusting Farmer...Why you!...
      Hey Greg, guess what I'm wearing? A diaphram, oo oo oo. I just wanted to make sure that everyone likes the site. And of course if you want a good time, you can always call me, Grandma Cobainge, at 1-900-OLD-MOLD. Especially, Grrrreeeeggg. Oo oo oo.
      Ulright, we're back...No, I am not finished with you, Farmer....Don't even start wit me, ya dumb Mexicani....I will show you who is dumb, Farmer!!!...
      Hello. You don't know me. I am the brains behind this whole operation. Without me there would be no sanity in this group so that we could construct such a convoy of this band's exquisite work. The whole comicbook like motif was my idea. The band, obviously comic in character, needed an undertone which stated the humor found in their artistry. So the background art realisticly fits this whole aesthetic. Genius, am I? Quite. And I'm sure now, that you would like to know my name. Ha, ha, ha. Well, we like to keep things catchy and simple here at the DS staff. I will give you what I'm more commonly known as here among these savages. Here, I am known as Insane Man from North Warren. Why the insanely title, you ask? Because I am legally insane and dwell in a shelter found in the city of North Warren. AND I CAN'T STAND THESE TWO IDIOTS FIGHTING IN THE BACKGROUND!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT, YOU STUPID RETARDED BLUE COLLAR FUCK AND YOU FOREIGN PIECE OF DOGSHIT!!! IF I WASN'T IN THIS STRAIGHT JACKET, YOU WOULD BOTH LEARN A LESSON!!! NOW, WHERE'S MY PILL!!! PPPPPIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!!!
      Whoa, that guy is always way crazy, Farmer...Yea, he is. Let's be done wit dis here fightin', wa'd'ya say?....Alright, Farmer. For now.....Wat we really came ta talk ta ya about is dis here question we have....Yes, what we want to ask you is....WHAT'S HOCKEY?
(From the DS Staff Members: Jason, Al, Timmy, Old Man, Grandma, Dubois, Insane Man from North Warren, Mr. Hand, Steve Gimpson, Reverend Joe, Cock-Eyed the Pirate, Buddy Lee, Apeman, the Mexican, and the Farmer)

February 18, 2003
      Hey, everyone. It's official; nobody's vote counts, but those of the members of Project Reconnect, who voted for Different Situations. Ha, ha, ha, just kidding, sorta. Here's how it went. A while ago, I got bored or something and decided that we needed to pick a band name. So I had Holly eliminate the ones that she didn't like from the original 13 names. She got it down to a list of about 7 or 8. At that point, Holly and I had decided upon the name Catharsis, but I checked it out. I went to mp3.com, and there were like a bunch of bands by that name. And I want to avoid any chances of getting sued in the future so I threw it out. Then she wanted to be called Suicidal Drug Dose, and I preferred Medio Core. I put the second poll up to prove to her that Suicidal Drug Dose was a bad name that has bad implications for both drug users and non-drug users. And I won that argument. But the poll showed that Flawless Failure was on top, and I just didn't like that name. It didn't seem to fit us in my view. So Holly and I sat for a week, and she wanted to see if she could come up with a better name off the top of her head. That never works except by accident. So I was tired of messing with the damn poll so I asked her on Sunday out of 4 names (I threw out Suicidal Drug Dose and Flawless Failure) was there any she could live with because I wouldn't mind having any of those four for a band name. And she picked Different Situations. So there you go. Polls aren't the elections, but thanks for everyone that voted. I really appreciated it. Except for that dirty bastard who made the nasty comment. He sucks dick while taking it in the ass from his father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. He also fucks goats. I have proof. Unless it was a girl, then just change that all to the feminine. Then it'll be all cool and stuff. Anyways, here's how the final poll ended up:
Medio Core 5
Suicidal Drug Dose 1
Different Situations 2
The 2
Chunky Monkey 2
Flawless Failure 6
If you're mad that we're not as democratic as you thought, just remember this: We're at least more democratic than the U.S....or at least our buddy Al Gore.
      Speaking of that, you can voice your opinion on the new band name. Take the poll at the bottom of the page! I'm gonna change it about every week, maybe every other. I don't know. I'm just gonna keep switching it up and making it interesting. They'll be all sorts of questions that I'll poll you on. So keep checking in.
      I've made a bunch of changes, so let's get started. Besides, the obvious background and symbol (which I think kicks ass) changes, I've made some subtle changes to different things throughout the site. For the subtle changes (the ones only significant enough to mention), I've updated Al's story in his Bio, I did a little bit of changing with the end of the band history, the messageboard is titled and should look a little bit different now, and I made a little change to the lyrics for "Bush's Dozen." You can check those out if you'd like.
      So along with that, I've also added two new Bios to the site. One belongs to the band's evil nemesis and the other to a long time supporter and friend. I'm not gonna say who they are because then you won't check it out. (I'm catching on to you fuckers.) Be sure to see who they are and what they're all about in the Bios. They're awesome.
      Also, we now have a total of 30 lyrics on the site and 20 mp3's. I thought that was pretty neat. Both round numbers and all. Holly has 2 new song lyrics up: "Told You So" and "Undeniable Reliability." That last one was partially for me so you better check it out, or else. I have 4 new song lyrics up: "I'm in Love with a Hermaphrodite," "Please, Notice Me," "The Erection Song," and "Love Is Dead." I'm not going to say anymore about these but just to check them out 'cause they're half funny and half serious. But they're all cool. But I am going to say that I think "Love Is Dead" may be the best song I've ever written, maybe even better than "Catch Her in the Rye." The jury's still out on that one. But you can check it out for yourself. Go download it under the Music Section! I'm not gonna repeat myself so just read the caption on the page when you download it.
      On a final note, I submitted an email asking to be added to the PA Punk Page (see Links). I don't think we're on there yet, but when we do get added, our link will be right next to Digger's I think. So maybe that will bring more traffic to the site. I don't know. But Al thinks that's "Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor!"
      So that's it. Thanks for bearing with me. Check out all the new stuff, add us to your favorites, and thanks for the support. Until next time...