December 31, 2003
      Well, I guess this is the New Year's Eve edition of the update. I needed one for December so here it is. First of all, you might have heard of a number of possible shows we might have played, but basically they're all out now. We were gonna play a show in Kane on December 20th, but Kyle couldn't get in contact with the people we needed to in time to say we were doing it so we were replaced. But Kyle, Mike, and I all went to that show anyways. And Al Gore made an appearance. If you want to read more about that show, look under the shows thread on the messageboard or read Al's depiction of it down below. Anyways, the only practice DS has had was Kyle and I before that show, where all I did was tab out "Catch Her in the Rye" for him. Anyways, we thought about playing or working out some show for tonight, but that didn't work out either. And then we thought about a show on January 8th with Running Scared, but I don't think that's gonna happen either. Lastly, I have to apologize because yet again I didn't get an mp3 up on the site for the song "Ho, Ho, Ho" for the holidays like I promised to last year and all. Anyways, here's what I did do.
      I made a few updates for the site. Because we had that problem with the shows falling through and all, Kyle thought I should add a shows page. So I did. So when we have CONFIRMED shows, you'll know about it. So keep an eye on the shows page that you'll be able to access on the sidebar with all the rest of the site links. Also, Mike and Casey never had pictures up in their bios. And I got tired of waiting so I copied some from a yearbook I have and put them up in their bios instead. These are probably temporary but work for now. I also added a picture of Kyle and Holly from the Bradford Era when they were at a show in Bradford in the Pictures section so check that out. And finally, I added some of Holly's lyrics for this untitled song she wrote, so check that out in the Lyrics section too.
      Alright, now on to the poll. Last poll was a continuation of the theme of what do you think of our band members. This last one was for me. The poll I just put up is for what you think of Dwayne Edgar. Have fun with this one. I don't think Dwayne's ever gonna see it anyways, but yeah. Just vote. Thanks. Next poll's going to be about Mike Zickefoose I think, and then we'll get to Casey and maybe Chris later. Anyways, here are the results of the last poll. We got 16 votes for this one. Good job, guys. Just one less than last time. The poll asked "Jason Burt is" and the majority said "Who the hell is that?" with 9 (56%) of the votes. Hey, you fucking idiots, that's me!!! Second place went to "Straight" with 2 (12%) of the votes. That's true. ;) Last place was a tie between "Ugly and Has No Friends," "Kind and Funny," "That Band Dick," "The Guy with the Small Dick," and "Who cares?" all with 1 (6%) of the votes each, all of which are true. ;) So that leaves "Gay," "Smart," and "A Know-It-All" with no votes. I'm surprised none of them got any votes, but oh well. Good job! So that's it for that poll. Keep voting! Thanks!
      Well, I think that's it for this time. Keep checking out the messageboard because it's been a bit slow lately. Keep voting! And the next time that I update this thing it better say something about a show we're gonna play. So yeah. Got a slightly new drill. Until next time...

P.S.
      Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor! It's your pal Al here. As Jason said before, I was at that show on the 20th. And as always, the kids really seemed to like me, but I even got attention from two babes. One of them touched my penis area. It was like instant viagra, friendidily endilies. Anyways, I had a good time when I came there. People liked the signs on my ass and everything. And I got to make fun or Running Scared and support my number one cool band Different Situations. But when I tried to go to sleep when those bastards were playing, all the kids started turning against me. They came up and kicked me and threw stuff at me. And then when one of them tried to rip my face off, I figured I was gonna retire for the night. But I heard I missed out on some guy with real boobs. And I was sad 'cause that would have turned me on big time. Oh well. Maybe next time, friendidily endilies. Punkley Dunkley, Neighbor!
      Hey, Greg, guess what I'm wearing?...a dildo, oo-woo-oo. I decided to go to the show with everyone on the 20th to see if anybody wanted some cookies, oo-woo-oo, from me or wanted to get some as I worked the corner outside of the Elks' Lodge. And also because my Greg was there, and I thought maybe he would get drunk, and I could seduce him. Oo-woo-oo. But everyone ignored me. So I wondered what was going on. And I went upstairs to see this guy that had boobs. And I was angry 'cause I was working that crowd first, that bastard. I mean his boobs were sagging more than mine. Damn, I'll have to try the next show for my Greggie. In the meantime, you can always give me a call at 1-900-OLD-MOLD, oo-woo-oo. Well, I'm supposed to say that's it for this time. Love you, Greggie, oo-woo-oo!
(From the ever-growing DS Staff Members: Jason, Al, Little Timmy, Old Man, Grandma, Dubois, Insane Man from North Warren, Mr. Hand, Steve Gimpson, Reverend Joe, Cock-Eyed the Pirate, Buddy Lee, Apeman, the Mexican and the Farmer, Ralph Wigum, Dick Jizzum, Harry Pothead, Dr. Weng Wonge, Coolman and Tim, Mr. Antiques, the Stressed Men, Ugly Bastard Jones, Nine Finger Johnson, Captain Dameninski, Lieutenant Burtov, Hotler and Stilin, Nippy Spanyolia, F and Q, Swish from Sweden, Chunky Monkey, News from the Source, Possessed Boy, and the Dink Dinks)