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Dear Diary,
It is Saturday mourning and i want to add something i was thinking about all night. Can u guess what its about? ya, corey. Well i was thinking, Im not the most popular girl in school. Hell, Im not even close. But Corey, ya see is like really REALLY popular. And now thinking of what happened in sixth grade (if i didnt tell you i had a mad crush on him and he signed my yearbook "sorry i dont like you" i was so depressed!) and I dont relly think he would change his mind. Ya know? I mean what would people say if he did ask me out. and why would he ask me out? I mean sure, i know how to push a guys buttons but still. Wouldnt i ruin his reputation? damn! i hate cliques!!!!!! He is really sweet and hott and i am so confused! but what if he dosent like me?!?!?! and what the hell did he say? god, if he did like me, i would pass out!!!! and now are things going to be akward at school? i do have like four classes with him! ahhhhh! i hope not but i hope things are better then they have been! I mean i really wish he would like me but im really tired of dating skinny guys!!!! and hes not like stick thin but he is like skinnier than me and shorter! But he is so sweet and hot! we even had a whole conversation on how corey is hotter than david at the party! i am so confused! i wish i knew what he was thinking!!!! but i dont want to like him!!!!!!! i have changed a lot over the two years since sixth grade. But have i changed so much? That even one of the hottest guys in school would like me? Im not even in his range! Why would he like me? should i get my hopes up? he was paying a lot of attention to me. more to me than any other girl. omg! i cant stand this! i need to know how he feels without hurting me like last time!!! I really dont think that my heart can take another heartbreak! I have been hurt too many times. If i get hurt one more time, then my heart will fall to pieces. Literally. I have been hurt so much that my weak little heart cant take it anymore. I have a really big heart and i need someone to love. to love me. for me to love. Uggh! and what about chris? does he like me? does corey like me? dude! this isnt kewl anymore! i need to know. god, give me a sign! corey or chris. well chris kinda likes me i think. but does corey? i dont know. someone pleeeez! help me!

Dear Diary,
So today was weird. well i went to the harrison game but barely made it cuz my mom was being bitchy and said she wouldn't take me so rachel's dad said he would. I was so embarased. god, sometimes i hate my mom. she is such a bitch. But newayz, Scott Grabowski broke his leg at the game and some other kid fractured his arm. Me and rachel saw kasey and jennifer at the game and it was kewl. i also saw jeremy snyder. he dosent know who i am but he is sooo hot! Anywayz, i know what you wanna hear. Yes, Corey was there and i think he was number 24. That is my birthday number. 9-24-87. Is that a sign? Newayz, Kasey wanted to rub his head after the game but no1 would do it with her so i said i would rub his head with her, but jennifer's mom came and she had to go. i think Rachel was a little mad at me for some reason. I dont know but i saw Corey and he was wearing a half cut shirt and he looked like brittney spears. lol. no he always looks hot. lol. I was thinking on the way back to my house, about Corey, and i got the butterfly feeling. its so hard to describe but its like a thousand buzzing butterflies floating around in your stomach. But i dont like him. I cant like him. He would never like a girl like me. I mean i am fat, ugly, and im not popular at all and football players like him only go out with girls like rachel hoffman. Ya know the skinny blonde girl who is amazingly beautiful. He would never like a girl like me. He is so sexy and sweet and so incredibly amazing that he would never ever ever like me. Well he did go out with Daphne. She's cool but she is also popular. And im not popular and im not trying to say that he is so shallow that he wouldn't go out with me but i mean i would give up everything i own for him to like me. Because even though he totally killed me when he wrote that thing in my yearbook that i am just dumbfounded whenever i am near him. I cant though because he dosent like me. I know it. If he did i would prey to god that he does!