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I'm Kristen, Craig's gal and the other person responsible for the Punk Rawk Bible. I hope you don't mind that Craig forwarded your inquiry to me; I've had a lot of experience in this type of situation. I'll give you some background.
I dated a guy that was very nice for a year and a half. He never did anything bad to me, but we were growing apart. I was hearing God's call, and the guy was going nowhere. It got so that we spent our time together just sitting around, watching TV and not talking! I just couldn't bring myself to end the relationship though, with all that time invested.
It was when I was dating this guy that I met Craig, and got saved. I knew that I couldn't stay in a stagnant relationship keeping me from Christ. I'll admit to being a jerk and just ignoring my boyfriend; I didn't know what to say to him. Finally I told him what we already knew-- that we had different paths in life. I had found mine, he hadn't, and it would be best if we parted ways.
This scripture is very relevant:
| Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." |
In a relationship, you need 3 parts: you, your partner and Christ. Your current girlfriend is being inconsiderate. Is this love, or is it pity, or a feeling of obligation? She is a missing link in this relationship. You should never, EVER have to endure someone who uses you as a verbal or physical punching bag. Regardless of the amount of time you have invested, you should get out of that situation. Ask God for the right way to end it.
| 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." |
Once that relationship is ended, you are technically free to pursue the other girl, but you should definitely take some time to really analyze what went wrong in that other relationship. The Lord wastes nothing, and I am sure that you'll find plenty of things that you'll not want to repeat in future relationships.
I recommend Joshua Harris' book, "I Kissed Dating Good-Bye" to help you analyze that relationship, and to gain an excellent foundation for the future. You seem to have a good friendship with this girl, and open communication. That's great! You don't need to rush into anything, just continue to get to know her better.
God may have other plans for you, so make sure you talk to Him. When I ended that relationship, I didn't immediately enter into another one. I had things to do-- like developing a solid foundation with God. I had to learn to come to Him first, and to not depend on relationships to keep me happy.
Craig and I really never fight, because we go to God with any troubles. Believe me-- this is a lot easier and less stressful from how I used to be in relationships. I learned to come to God in that time I was single.
This is a hard situation, I know, but God's telling you to get a move on! He won't let you go alone. God bless you!
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