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First of all, let me say Praise God that you fantasize about your spouse. That is just wonderful. I'm still single, so I try not to fantasize at all. Sometimes, though, a thought starts coming into my head and I've just got to stop it. I'm like, "Where did that come from?" So perfect I am not.
I think what you wrote is wonderful. I've heard it said that the marriage bed can never be defiled, so whatever you want to do there--go for it. (I got that from my best friend, who's studying to be an ordained minister, and he got that from one of his pre-marital counseling classes. I could find out the references for that, if you like?) Now you realize, the "marriage bed" is not a location in temporal space, it's a place of the heart so wherever you are, you can be there--if only in spirit. For a man to fantasize about his wife, or a wife to her husband I believe to be a wonderful thing--so long as your spouse does not become your primary focus in life. We are to love God, as in the whole Trinity of God, before anything else. Even above our spouses.
Kristen and I, engaged without the hardware as I like to say, have our worst times when one or both of our focus' becomes the other person instead of God. It's almost freaky, but it's true. Praise God that He is such a large part of our lives, so we don't really have hard times. Oh, we're really good at spotting them, too, so we're able to get our focus right before anything major happens. I can't think of much else to say, but God bless you. I pray this helped to ease any unnecessary burden you may have placed on yourself. I sincerely hope you didn't, because you sound like you're right on the money.
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