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| 3rd episode: Baby Mama Drama ***NOTE: the characters in the following dramatic piece are totally fictional and have no connection to real people. Mwah ha ha! also, the people int his episode appear to actually be normal... Audience: Kenny! Kenny! Kenny! Kenny! Kenny: Welcome all...today's show is about new mothers tellin their husbands about their pregnancy...with that being said, let's welcome Hayley to the show...welcome Hayley. (Hayley walks out on the stage and sits down.) Hayley: HEY KENNY! (she screams everything...its pretty obvious the chick dod not take her Ritalin today...) Kenny: hey...Why are you here today? Hayley: WELL, KENNY, I'M HERE TODAY TO TELL MY NEW HUSBAND THAT I'M PREGNANT. Kenny: um..., okay.... could you possible STOP the screaming?!? (Kenny turns to the audience and screams:) Kenny: Does anyone have any Ritalin? |
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| Audience member # 1: I do! I do! (Audience member # 1 throws a bottle of Ritalin to Kenny. Kenny walks over to Hayley, opens her mouth, and shoves all the pills down Hayley's throat.) Kenny: Well, let's bring your husband out...Come on out Casey! (Casey walks out and sits down next to Hayley.) Kenny: Welcome Casey. Casey: Hello Kenny... Kenny: Well, Hayley, tell Casey your secret." (Hayley turns to Casey.) Hayley: Baby..., I'm preggers! Casey: What?! It ain't mine! Hayley: Of course it is!!! Casey: I KNOW its not mine. You've been cheating on me! That baby is not mine! Hayley: Why do you say that....you bastard?!? <BEEEEEEPPP>. Casey: Because...I'm not a man! I was born a woman! So there! YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME!!! (Hayley turns to audience.) Hayley: Does anyone have any sleeping pills? Audience Member # 1: I do! I do! (Audience Member # 1 thrwos a bottle of sleping pills to Hayley. hayley takes a large bottle of vodka out of her purse. She downs all the pills and the vodka...and then collapses... That b*tch is dead...) Kenny: What?...What the F*CK?!? um..., okay, someone pick up that body... Casey, dou you have anything to say? Casey: um..., yeah... (Casey Chuckles) um..., okay... I really wasn't born a woman. I'm 100% man...I don't want a baby... Kenny: What the F*CK?!? (Kenny turns to Steve.) Steve? Will yo do the honors? (Steve walks out with a .45 and busts a cap in Casey's ass.) Audience: Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve! Kenny: I honestly don't know what to say...Well, folks, that's our episode... tune in next month for a new episode of Kenny Springer... |