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| 1st episode: My Pet Is My Lover KENNY- I'm here today with Bill. He has a secret to tell his wife of 10 years. Bill? BILL- Hello Kenny. I'm here to tell my sister a secret. ( Bill is a fat hillbilly and he has a beer bottle resting in his large belly button. He's already stripped his clothes.) KENNY- I thought you were going to tell your wife a secret. BILL- I am. I'm married to my sister. (audience gasps and then laughs) KENNY- What are you going to tell your...um....spouse? BILL- I am going to tell her that I'm leaving her....for the dog...we've been having sex now for 2 years....I love him....I can <BEEP> him better than my wife...... (Bill looks at the camera and says:) BILL- I love you Mr. Scruffles! KENNY- Well, she knows now. She's been listening backstage. Let's bring her out! Welcome Sheniqua Bonifa Beniqua. |
| (Sheniqua comes out and sits down calmly. She is a heavy set LatinaAmericana and has a bad wig....) SHENIQUA- Hello Kenny! Oh, and Bill, I already knew about you and that damn dog. I saw you doing him on the kitchen table too many times....I put him to sleep before we left...Mwah ha ha! and Bill? I have a secret for you been trying to get pregnant? Well, we can't because I'm a transexual... (She then gets up and flashes the audience. The audience groans in disgust....Then Bill and Sheniqua start fighting. Bill pulls Sheniqua's wig off. Mwah ha ha!) AUDIENCE: KENNY! KENNY! KENNY! KENNY! KENNY! KENNY! SHENIQUA: and I have another secret. I've been sleeping with your mother..... AUDIENCE: WE LOVE LESBIANS! OOPS!.....WE LOVE.....WE DON'T KNOW!..... SHENIQUA: and she's pregnant with my baby. (She flashes the audience again and this time, the audience cheers!) KENNY: Let's bring your mother out, C'mon out Mary Jane. (Mary Jane comes out and french kisses Sheniqua! Mary Jane is an 85 year old heavy set hillbilly.) BILL: <BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP> MARY JANE: Hello Kenny. (Bill hits his mother, Steve the faithful dude cop guy then busts a cap in Bill's ass! Mwah ha ha!) AUDIENCE: STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! KENNY: We'll be right back after this. next month's episode: My Woman Is My Man |