One day, I was sitting at my computer
And something caught my attention
Something started attacking my ankles
I kicked them away, then I noticed

Gay Midgets attacking my neighborhood
They're terrorizing all my neighbors
It seems that we're defenseless
Please call the local pound

The Next day, all the damage was done
You could tell they all had some fun
But what they did to my house, makes me, it breaks me
They left seamen everywhere

Gay Midgets attacking my neighborhood
They're terrorizing all my neighbors
It seems that we're defenseless
Please call the local pound

A week later, I got enraged
I went on a gay midget killing spree
All I needed was some rope, so they wouldn't get free
I also had some holy water, and the popes daughter - Huh?

Gay Midgets attacking my neighborhood
They're terrorizing all my neighbors
It seems that we're defenseless
Please call the local pound

The Gay Midgets declared war on us
But we didn't make such a fuss
We were half there size, they were to meet there demise
Oh no, one of them is attacking me now

Gay Midgets attacking my neighborhood
They're terrorizing all my neighbors
It seems that we're defenseless
Please call the local pound

The Gay Incredible Midgets
The Gay Homosexual Midgets
The Gay, The Queer, The Small
Stupid little fucking bastards
They want to attack me from behind
They want me to feel pain, and to drain....my hetero self

Gay Midgets attacking my neighborhood
They're terrorizing all my neighbors
It seems that we're defenseless
Please call the local pound