| *I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real, I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long, Erase all the pain till it's gone, I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real**I will never know myself until I do this on my own, And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed, I will never be anything till I break away from me, I will break away, I'll find myself today**Lying my way from you, No no turning back now, I wanna be pushed aside so let me go, No no turning back now, Let me take back my life,I'd rather be all alone, No turning back now, Anywhere on my own cuz I can see**Too many times that I've held on what I needed to push away, Afraid to say what was on my mind afraid to say what I need to say, Too many things that you said about me when I'm not around, You think having the upper hand means you gotta keep putting me down, But I've had too many standoffs with you it's about as much as I can stand, So I'm waiting until the upper hand is mine**I know I'll never trust a single thing you say, You knew your lies would divide us but you lied anyway, And all the lies have got you floating up above us all, But what goes up has got to fall**It's easier to run, Replacing this pain with something numb, It's so much easier to go, Than face all this pain here all alone, Something has been taken from deep inside of me, The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see, Wounds so deep they never show they never go away, Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played**Just washing it aside, All of the helplessness inside, Pretending I don't feel misplaced, It's so much simpler than change**So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do, Face away and pretend that I'm not, But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got**I can't feel the way I did before, Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored, Time won't heal this damage anymore**I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident, Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense**Hear me out now, You're gonna listen to me, like it or not, Right now, Hear me out now, You're gonna listen to me, like it or not, Right now**Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them, Sometimes I wonder why this is happening, It's like nothing I can do would distract me when, I think of how I shot myself in the back again, 'Cause from the infiite words I could say I, Put all pain you gave to me on display, But didn't realize instead of setting it free I, Took what I hated and made it a part of me**Hearing your name the memories come back again, I remember when it started happening, I see you in every thought I had**Memories consume, Like opening the wound, I'm picking me apart again, You all assume, I'm safe here in my room, Unless I try to start again**I don't know what's worth fighting for, Or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate, And say what I don't mean, I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright**I hurt much more, Than anytime before, I had no options left again**I don't know who to trust no surprise, Everyone feels so far away from me, Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies, Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit, Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet, All I ever think about is this, All the tiring time between, And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me**Tension is building inside steadily, Everyone feels so far away from me, heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me**I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress, handfull of anger, held in my chest, And everything left's a waste of time**I'm tired of being what you want me to be, Feeling so faithless lost under the surface, Don't know what you're expecting of me, Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes, Every step that I take is another mistake to you**I've become so numb I can't feel you there, I've become so tired so much more aware, I'm becoming this all I want to do, Is be more like me and be less like you**Can't you see that you're smothering me, Holding too tightly afraid to lose control, Cause everything that you thought I would be, Has fallen apart right in front of you**You're so predictable no shadow of doubt, when you are suffering know who sold you out, Fuck your opinions, Fuck your lack of spine, When you are miserable, Know that I'm just fine**Can't fix my problem, You crossed a thin line, You can't just work it out, not with me this time** |