Upcoming Tour Dates

02/07/08 - TBA

Happy Holidays, guys. I'm currently suffering from Christmas hangovers from my family, I'm pretty sure that I don't need to tell anymore stories about my "love life" to my Grandmother, or I might scream. Instead of getting anything for Christmas, I went out and bought my family gifts and then bought one for my self. Have you seen the new addition to the Gibson Les Paul family? I think my eyes fell out of my head when I saw it. Bought it last week, so I should be getting it soon. Sorry, when it comes to new guitars, I'm like a kid in a fucking candy store. Make fun of me all you want.

In other news, I have a new song and video for you guys to check out. The song is called Thick as Thieves. You can't download it just yet cause I'm being lame today, but I'm sure you kids will figure out a way to hack it anyways. I like the video a lot, so enjoy.

I’ve surprisingly have made it through Chicago alive and as much as I’ve always loved it there, maybe it will forever be a good place to visit. The stories of when Thom got stuck in the trashcan, when Dad ran over Dayton’s guitar when he thought it was mine, when Audrey came with Lucky for a spontaneous visit which ended with me asking Aud to marry me – I suppose that all of these are good stories to have in your life but if you’re still unable to make it past an anniversary of a death, the passing of a birthday, the celebration of a life, well then perhaps it is time to realize that that town is good for visiting, good for long periods of time, as long as you no longer call that place home. The home town shows came and went and everything that could have gone wrong didn’t and it might have been the sweetest homecoming that I’ve ever played. I missed this; I’ve missed the fans, I’ve missed the touring, I’ve missed this. I think I’ve gotten so into myself as of late with everything that has happened that I haven’t really taken time out to not obsess over things, but to rather enjoy them. I’m going to try better this time, I promise.

There are seven dates left on the tour and to be honest I really do not want this tour to end. I’m enjoying being on the road, ignoring real life and getting closer to everyone around me. Margot left the tour – personal reasons, and I guess I don’t understand them completely, but I know she went back home, so I hope she’s alright and everything is fine. I guess I worry too much for absolutely nothing and I need to get my act in gear before I can put myself into anything before I take a chance on change. I’m admitting that change is needed, change is good and I’m ready for this. I won’t deny that I’m sneaking out to watch her shows, and the sound of her voice, just the look she gives me when I tell her what a great job she did that night – I’m finding it hard to believe that I could possibly be interested in someone who is a complete opposite from everyone else I’ve ever met in my life, but I’m also finding it perfectly needed. Ten blondes don’t equal one hot brunette, should I have figured that out earlier? I’m ending Audmentation Records. Or maybe I should keep it. I’m not sure anymore. I’m the only person on it, well besides Margot, but I don’t know what she’s doing anymore. Shall I fold and join Matador? I kid, I kid, I don’t know why I’m trying to talk about my career when I’m painfully avoiding topics that I don’t want to talk about. Or rather, not reveal yet. Is this obvious? I think I’m making it clear that you’re on my mind, that you’ve been on my mind more often than not lately and all I can think about is how to wake up next to you and surprise you with anything but flowers in the morning. Think that would be alright? I’ll write a note, slip it under your door, and we can be teenagers again and you can circle Y or N. I think you know what I’d prefer.

I think when it comes down to everything, I’m finally getting things back on track. Though I’m starting to wonder about some friends, and I’m worried that Vicki is getting herself into a shitload of trouble, but I guess I can’t control her and look after her like I did when I was little. When we were little. The record, well it’s almost completed. I’m doing more than one disc, more than one person is on it, and I guess it should be intresting to see what the result is. I’m going to take a chance with this, really put myself out there, and even though it won’t have amazing artwork that I’ve drawn (simply because I cannot draw), it’s still gonna have that art behind it. Not one track is the same, and the sounds are all over the place and -- I keep going back to talking about work, I should stop. I’m going to stop.

At the end of the day, I think I’m going to make more effort. We’re only getting older, and this tour is only getting shorter, and I’m willing to take a chance as long as I’m 100 percent sure that I’m ready for the fall.

Though I’m almost certain I fell already. And for once, I didn’t land on a pile of rocks.

The last time I felt this strange was back in October. I’m not quite sure where this feeling came about, but I remember that I was home, talking with Thomas and my cousin Victoria about how life has changed since 2000, how everything seems to change. I talk constantly about change and how I hate that it affects me, that I am forever driven by time. Vicki constantly makes fun of me, how I’m never wearing a watch, but constantly ask what the time is. “Why don’t you keep the time with you?” She asked. She’s always had a way with wording things so poetically that it almost makes me sound stupid. I wonder what she saw in anyone, and what anyone sees in her. I suppose it’s a family thing, but I guess I just can’t see it. Though one would assume this is a good thing. The last thing we need is to be driven into insanity, and driven into it by those of family. I – I lost my train of thought. Where was I? Oh. She asked me about why I don’t keep time with me, and I responded, “Because I don’t have the time for time.” And we laughed for a moment, Thomas called me factious and we called it a day. But I remembered thinking that was strange, that for some reason when ever I have a conversation with anyone, the idea of “time” or “change” constantly comes into play, and I have yet to change anything really about myself, nor have I given myself the proper time to do so. But in giving advice, oh I suggest people take their time, because change is natural, and I have yet to do so myself. This is hypocritical. I suppose it could be my new middle name. (Even though I happen to be partial to my current one. Has a strange ring to it.)

The tour is insanity, and it’s “controlled” chaos and it was, and still is, needed. I believe that New York was making me go crazy, and I’m still considering moving out back to Chicago, simply because someone once said that you’re always drawn back to your roots and I find that as much as I want to move ahead with life, maybe I should go back home for a while. I don’t know, I still have most of the summer to think about this, and knowing me it won’t be permanent, as nothing I do with my life these days seems to be that.

We’re in Arizona tonight, then a few days off before Texas. Jo’s birthday is the 16th, I’ll be going to Chicago Cemetery the 17th, and trying to get myself back together on the 18th before the show in Texas on the 19th. This is going to be the last year for a lot of things. Most importantly, I’ve decided that once I get to Chicago, I’m going to Gina’s. Gina is the florist I’ve always gone to while in town, when I go with Lucky to Audrey’s grave, where we place flowers and then go our separate ways. I think two years is enough time on doing this in person, and when I go to Gina, I’ll be asking her to do me a huge favor; I’ll pay for flowers to be delivered to Audrey’s grave each year for as long as I’m alive – a modest set of flowers, simply because she wasn’t much of a flower person, as I’m finding a lot of women are these days – even when I’m broke and have no money, I’ll still pay for them. It’s to finally move on, it’s to start fresh. I’m working on that ‘change’ thing I love to avoid so much. I think I’m going to actually do it this time. Most people are not hung up on the loss of loved ones as much as this. I suppose I’m not most people.

I was thinking of extending the album to more than just once disc. Because I’ve written so much, and experienced so much within myself this past year that I’m thinking it’s time for me to just let it all out for once; to not let it just sit there and fester and brew and wait for it to boil over as it usually does. Expect two discs. (Crowd cheers, as suddenly my manager freaks out. Fuck him, I say.) New surroundings, new company, new breath of fresh air and everything is going good. Well. Everything is going well. I’ve never been so great with grammar. I think I skipped that in high school. Or skipped with Dayton and went to shows or the record store. I think it’s the latter, it’s been years and I don’t remember really.

I’m almost 29, and I feel like the world is going to end. Is this where I write that “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine”? I’m not saying that I feel “fine” but I think I’m pretty close at getting there. So I’ll end this and say that I’m content.

And that I’m actually really looking forward to the next three days off. I really am.

Tomorrow Dayton, Margot and whoever else wants to tag along (Jo?) are leaving for Canada to start our summer tour. I’m looking forward to getting out of New York and getting back on the road, I can’t remember the last time that I went out and went show to show, spent the time not sleeping, hitting the bars and wondering if I’m going to make it to the next show. I kid, I always make it to the next show, but you get the idea. Or maybe you don’t. I haven’t toured in a while, I think it’s been close to two years now for a major tour anyways and I’m looking towards change.

Change that I’d never be willing to accept, but I’m looking forward to it. Perhaps that I’ve grown to be bitter as of late, but I still foolishly believe I have every right to be. June 17th is coming up. It will be two years since the accident, and I’m realizing that maybe I’m still holding onto ghosts that are never there and this isn’t right. A ghost at my side, and yet I still refuse to see past it, perhaps that’s why my relationship with music is so strong – it’s something that will never leave you, die, or end up in rehab due to overdosing on guitar chords. If overdosing on guitar chords was even a possibility, it would be the least of my worries. We’re not playing a show on the 17th, and I need to keep myself busy. We’ll be in Texas by then. I hate Texas, and as terrible as that sounds, I hate New York as well. There are too many memories here that I no longer wish to remember, I need change. I need to move on.

Chicago has never looked so good to me in my life. Not in the way that I’d flee and leave after a bad review as I did in January. I need to get out of here, I need to get out of here and onto bigger and better things. Not saying that Chicago is better than New York, but I’m thinking maybe that’s where I belong. I think I’ll do house hunting when we’re back there at the end of June.

I’m going to do something on the 17th. I just haven’t figured out what yet. But knowing me, I know I’ll do something. Good or bad.

I'd write more, but there are more important thing to attend to. Like finding the missing pieces in my scrabble game. It's going to be a long drive.

I'll be seeing you.

Yeah, let's try out this blog thing.