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What's the best way to cure constupation?
Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse |
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Why do polititians always disagree?
Because they don't have wives to argue with |
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How is a wife and a condom alike?
They spend to much time in your walet and not enough on your dick |
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How do you make a cat go "woof"?
Poor gasoline on it and throw a match at it |
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Where would you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left him. |
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When does a husband know when he masturbates too much?
When he's fucking his wife he feels like he's cheating on himself |
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What did they do to a Jewish boy that couldn't concentrate?
They sent him to a concentration camp. |
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How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
6. 1 to actually screw it in, and the others to sing about how much they miss the old 1 |
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| A gay guy walks into a store and finds the place where they sell the meat. When he wants to buy salami, the cashier asks him, "Do you want me to cut it for you?" The guy gets mad and yells out, "You dumb bitch, I have an ass, not a fucking piggy-bank!" |
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What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes |
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What do men in singles bar have in common?
They're all married |
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Why did the retard get mad at the microwave oven?
Because it melted he's plastic soldier while he was on a ride |
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What did the mexican man say when a builing fell on him?
Get off me homes |
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How do you avoid a Jewish cop?
Give him money |
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How do you know when a blode has a bad hair day?
She's got a tampon behind her ear and is looking for a pancil |
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What do you call 100 blondes stacked on each other?
An air mattress |
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How can you be sure that you're a redneck?
When your jack-o lanter has more teeth than you |
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How do you know if a redneck is married?
If there is tabacco stains on both side of his pick-up truck |
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What's the great way to tell if some one is stupid?
If they jump on a bike and don't notice that there's no seat until he lands on it |
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How do you make a body builder mad?
Sitting on your fat ass eating a cake while watching TV |
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When do fat people realise that they weigh too much?
When people mistake their ass for their head |
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What's the best definition for someone stupid, gay, and perverted?
Bill Clinton |
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What do you get when you cross an idiot Arabic and redneck?
My neighbor Chris |
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MORE TO COME, AND IF YOU DIDN'T ENJOY THIS PAGE,
THEN I BET YOU ARE JUST A WAD THAT YOUR MOM FORGOT TO SWALLOW |
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BACK |
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