Here�s a story that deserves to be told.

It was a lucid day, and I was so very aware of myself. I sat on a park bench on the bank of a river eating chocolate. It was access Easter candy. Big chocolate eggs.

Outside of my tunnel vision an early summer day blew itself around lazily. The new green leaves that decked every tree�s branches seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. In front of me the brown river rippled in the slight breeze, its murky waters rolling lazily onward.

But it all tasted like chocolate to me. I was tuned into the dark sweetness completely, and my hate at myself for eating it. It had hooked me as though I were a silver fish. Though I sparkle, always, I was being pulled down. And I chewed, feeling the sweetness overpower all of my other senses. I was experiencing nothing but an angry chocolate world smack in the middle of a beautiful summer day.

It was then that the Black-Eyed-Dog came to save me. Down the river he swam, with a certain tune shinning off of his dark, wet fur. It took me a moment to even notice him, and another full mouthful of chocolate to realize that he was not a tire, or some other large scrap of industrial waste. Some small ray of light pierced my deeply chocolate-stained world, and I saw the Black-Eyed-Dog. I realized who he was, and stood up to watch him, haphazardly splitting my interest between this curious dog and the half eaten chocolate egg slowly melting in my hand. Around me I heard a breath like a sigh, and the trees shivered in the wind. The sun suddenly seemed so bright, and the world around me came alive.

Or as alive as it can be for a girl still hooked on her chocolate while watching a dog drown. The Black-Eyed-Dog suddenly ceased to be my messenger and became a poor helpless animal searching to get out of a river with cliff-like concrete banks. He searched first my side of the river for an exit, and then made a sickeningly long journey to the other side of the river where the cement wall was only slightly too high for him to get out. I watched him with wide eyes, like a child, and still I ate.

A new feeling came over me as I watched him flounder helplessly, his nose held high away from the water, and his eyes, I could even see from that distance, were pleading and scared. I could have saved that dog, I thought. If only I had called him on a few more feet down the river he would have made it to the point where the concrete wall turns into a concrete slope. I could have pulled him out. Guilt overtook me. Why hadn't I thought of that? His sleek black legs were treading beneath him, and I wondered how long he would last.

I considered running to the other side to pull him out. The nearest bridge wasn�t that far. I could be there in perhaps ten, or actually maybe fifteen minutes. But I looked back at the bench behind me with my bag of chocolate and my backpack on it. What about those? I couldn�t lose them�

I could swim! After all, I�d seen kayakers in the river before. It really couldn�t be that bad. But what if other people saw me? They would think me an idiot for going in that murky water. I was scared.

Still the dog treaded, hovering close to the opposite bank. I kicked myself or not running to try and save him, and yet felt too scared and indecisive to move. I stood there hating myself for not moving, and hating myself for still thinking about all the chocolate that was still in my bag. I thought only about myself.

Across the river the Black-Eyed-Dog went under. When, I�m not sure, I just remember looking up and finding him gone. The turbulent water where he�d been flowed innocently on and I searched the surface, hoping desperately to see his black nose break through.

But it did not. Eventually I realized that it never would, and I sank back onto my park bench with shame pouring out of me. Why hadn�t I done everything to help that poor creature? I had just stood and watched him die, while eating no less. What was wrong with me? Who watches animals drown while eating? Around me the trees were still blowing in their mysterious way, their leaves shaking with tiny tree whispers. The sun beat down past the edge of a fluffy cloud. Tears formed in my eyes. It was all so unfair.

The dark chocolate world encased me again, and I hung my head in sadness. What had life led me here to eat chocolate and watch a little dog drown? I was so hung upon the chocolate that I almost missed what was happening.

Across the river red rescue cars were screeching to a halt, and men with full wetsuits on came running down the dandelion kissed bank. They reached the concrete wall and ran away down the river, off to my left. Amazed, I watched them go. They were almost to a stand of trees when they stopped, and reached down. Their arms encased what I first thought was just a tree stump, but as they pulled the black form out, I realized that it was none other than the Black-Eyed-Dog. They cradled him in their arms and retreated up the bank to their flashing cars, waving one small thanks across the river to a middle-aged couple. The couple was smiling in relief, one of them put away a cell phone, and happily they turned and continued their walk down the river.

It took me a moment to realize that my chocolate tinted mouth was open. He was�alive? He hadn�t drowned? I was stunned. At first I didn�t know what to think. I had been so sure the little Black-Eyed-Dog had drowned. I still felt ashamed that I had not been the one to help the poor little dog out. I scowled at myself. I put myself down for every possible thing that I could have. I hadn�t saved him. I was only thinking about myself. I should be happy to see he didn�t die, but instead I�m sad that it wasn�t me who saved him. I was harder on myself than I ever should have been.

After some time I picked up my backpack and crammed the bag of chocolate into it. Slowly I began walking down the river, not caring about my afternoon classes or where I would go. I just walked. I passed several people who looked at me in shock because of the unhappiness emanating from my every pore. I was so upset, I felt like I�d never be happy again.

Luckily for me, the magic of summer doesn�t let a person get away so easily. I still had something to learn. Slowly, like a sunflower turning towards the sun, I began to soften. The sun began to feel warm on my exposed skin. The breeze smelled like flowers and clover, and it rustled the grass and the trees so nicely. The beauty of the world was blooming all around me, and I began to realize it. At this point I was walking past a park. It was there that my chocolate world finally broke up, and I stepped out of my march of hate and into the soft spring grass. Smiling, I searched out a nice clean patch of ground and laid down, feeling the grass as an uneven but welcoming mattress beneath me. It tickled the back of my neck and hands and I couldn�t help but think of how long it had been since the last time I laid like this in the grass. The sun frosted my face with its brightness. I closed my eyes and took it all in.

Finally I stopped hating myself. I just couldn�t find the strength to when surrounded with such beauty. Slowly though, I asked myself what I could learn from what had just happened. Hating myself for not acting would do nothing, and I knew there had to be some reason that life had led me to see all of this that day. It was then that it hit me.

I have turned into an adult during this year in France. I have grown up in so many ways. I now have ideas on many things that I didn�t concern myself with nearly as much as before I left. I am on the brink of starting my independent life, and there is something that I needed to know. The Black-Eyed-Dog showed it to me that day. I can�t wait. That�s just it. I am such an inspired human being. I have so many ideas about politics, the world, and the way I want my life to carry itself out that I can�t wait until I�m older to become a writer, I want to start now. And so I am. Likewise, I can�t wait until I�m old to start campaigning for animal rights, to become a vegan, to shout out to the world that I am Wiccan, to be my crazy individual self and not care what people think. If not now, when?

That day on the grass I realized it. I�m not waiting anymore. I�m living the life I always wanted to someday live. I have everything I need right here and right now. I�m so grateful to the Black-Eyed-Dog for showing it to me. The next time a tough situation comes up, believe me, this is one girl who�s going to be jumping right into the turbulent waters. I can�t live any other way.

I forgave myself there, lying in the sun. I knew that it would be the last time I ever watched an opportunity walk by me. Opportunities are always walking by in every single moment of life. There is always room for change and growth. It may not always be as obvious as the chance to save the life of a drowning dog, but now I can see it. There are opportunities. Everyday.

I was smiling then, once I had figured it out. This day had taught me something big, as I had known it would. I was out of the world of sticky chocolate, and I felt great. I hadn�t plunged myself into any other world either, as I would have done when I was younger. I wasn�t in the weight loss world or even the writer�s world. I wasn�t in the child�s world or the superior grown up�s world. I was just living right there as myself. I was in the real world. I realized that that was what it truly meant to grab life by its horns. It means that you just have to be there in each moment and live the way you want to. No more waiting for tomorrow or for someone else to do it for me.

Thank you, Black-Eyed-Dog. That day you brought us both to life with your sleek black paws and kicking legs.

Just one last realization hit me that day by the river. I opened my eyes and looked up just in time to see a swan landing on the water. Its long white wings were spread wide in descent, and just as it reached the sparkling surface its spindly legs began to kick, and for a few moments before it sank down into the water it seemed as though it were running along on top of the surface. This life we live is full of so much love. I had just seen an unfortunate dog fall into a river and be saved by many caring people. All around me the miracles of life were working their magic. Even I helped to contribute to the wonder in my own way with my epiphany. The world is spinning away and life goes on all around us, whether we know it or not, spinning and dancing with all that it is. Life is love. That is the simplest way to put it. Everything around us is moving in a perfect harmony of love.

I�m ready to embrace that harmony. I�m walking through life with my eyes open now. And as always, if not more than ever before, may the spirit of the Black-Eyed-Dog watch over me.