The End of Self-deception

© July 4, 1998

How'd things get so bad?
So bad I couldn't see
All the things that he
Was really doing to me?

Living in denial...
Living a life of shame...
Not for what I did,
But for which he's to blame.

How easily I could have been killed...
How often I faced tragedy...
Has left scars on my body;
Has left scars on all of me.

His threats weren't in his words,
They were there in his actions.
But in his words I believed,
And on what I based my reactions.

Yet even when his words hurt
I didn't listen; instead I'd wait
For his words to soon soothe...
Fueling my crazy inner debate.

The mire of disillusion,
The false face of hope
Shown by the occasionally loving man
Has left forever — the end of the rope.

The deception's over.
The pain is real.
His fury vengeful,
And my fate sealed.

...to read the journal entry from this important realization