Starting Over Isn't Easy

© July 4, 1998

Not ready to face facts,
Not ready to see the truth,
I hid my face, my life,
Even when I had proof.

I let him beat me,
I let him hurt me...
So deeply I couldn't heal
Without having to flee.

Now he saw a lawyer,
Hired him on the spot.
Chose to follow the advice
Of some legal big shot.

"Don't let her have anything
— not even her clothes."
How can life be so cruel
To not even let me have those?!

I ran from home to be safe,
I hide from him to be the same,
Now that I began my healing
He's started another game.

Some legal wizard
Says he doesn't need to be fair;
The courts will handle it,
Leave me whatever they dare.

He doesn't need to care,
He doesn't need to act right,
He can just go on living his way
With all his cruelty and might.

Ruin my credit, ruin my name,
Don't let me have my things,
Prevent me from starting a life
That's without so much pain...

I had sought a lawyer
But none was available;
All the power's his
— Mine's nearly laughable.

Four changes of clothes,
A handful of music cd's,
A briefcase, and my life
Is all I can have with me.

No clothes fit to work,
No computer for my business,
No food that's not given to me,
I'm basically penniless.

Overwhelmed by my basic needs
I don't even know where to go...
What am I to do next?
Which is my first seed to sow?