"I Want Nothing But To Let Go"
                                      By: Mushu

The thunder rumbles in the distance
I look expectantly through the window
I wait for the rain and lightning to come
To come beckon me out
So that I may play with it
So that I may dance in it
No, I am not afraid
I was once
I am no longer
I look from my seat at my windowsill in my large room
And make sure everyone is asleep
So that I may sneak out
I get up
I take off my sleeping wear and put on my jeans and one of my shirts
I sneak past the still figure laying asleep in our living room
I open and close the door
Locking it so that no one else can leave
So that no one else can come
I turn on the hall light
And descend down the stair well
I smile slightly at the familiarity of these old circular stairs
I remember the day I slipped
I know that I will not
Ever again
For I have learned my lesson
As soon as my feet land at the bottom of the building
I go down the hall, past the old place where the vegetables were kept
I go to the doors that will finally lead me outside
To the place where I will feel free and happy
Even if I won't laugh or smile
I will be happy
I unlock these doors and step out
Just in time to hear the deep, chilling rumble
And the sound of rain falling
The rumble does not chill me however
It electrifies me
I know what I do is dangerous
But I do not care
This is one of the times that I can feel truly free
Like the risk taker God wanted me to become
I stand there in the rain
Raising my arms to the heavens
Yelling into the storm
Yelling out all my hopes and fears
Letting go of my dreams and memories
Screaming out that I do not want to see the future
And what I will bring
I do not want them
They weigh me down
They are what keep me thinking
I do not want to think
I want to live in the present
With my worries of tomorrow
I want nothing but to let go
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