Our Trip to Hell

We were sitting there, chillin', when these Norse viking dudes set fire to Missy's house. So David, Mojo, Missy, Bull Dog (I think that was his last name), I think his name was Tristan, that dude who I think his name was Qui-Jonn (Out of character statement: He kinda looked like a Jedi crossed with the Bursar. Any of you who've played the first Discworld know the Bursar), a Lothey Priest, that purple dude, and I go out.

There's the viking dudes and we could see their ship in the ford. The viking dudes are killed along with a dog, and we find that a good acre of Missy's crops have been burned and her guards captured.

Following along a path, Bull sees that the path has been recently traveled by 50-60 people. We eventually come apon another patch of Norsemen, this time with a Rust Monster in tow, which dissolves some of our weapons before it is killed. The purple dude cuts off it's head and it's tentacle.

We walk some more, one of us taking a seperate path I believe, it was either the Lothey man or Qui-Jonn, and we come apon more vikings. During the ensuing battle, one of them busts out as a werewolf ( I busted my ass out of it's way, lemme tell you), and it ends up biting the Lothey man's leg before it died. In hopes of stopping the lycanthropy, the Lothey man cuts off his leg.

We healed our wounded and we see the slave powered viking ship pulling out onto the lake. "We got 'em cornered, they're in a lake!" someone said, but to our misfortune, we see a portal open which the ship goes into. Mojo's seriously pissed, since he doesn't like people taking slaves. We found a long boat, though, which had weapons in it to replace our old ones, and we followed them thorugh, out into an open sea, and we could not see any land, but via some back-breaking labor (the boat was supposed to be powered by twenty people), we managed to keep their ship on the horizon.

After a many hours of rowing, we are sucked through the mouth of a giant cave, and find ourselves in a strange land. The Lothey man had passed out in the boat, and the rest of us were pretty wated, so we had to heal.

We come apon a man who seemed to me to be a high power figure in the overall Norse people. He thinks we're brave and cool, and he says that we need to do some stuff to free Missy's guards who were taken captive. We find a smith named Sven, and he has Qui-Jonn blow a horn, which makes a bridge made of rainbow appear. We crossed it and found three old crones. I forget their names, but I think one of them was Fate. Why the hell am I so bad with names?

Anyway, they say there are three quests to complete to go home. The first one was to get some sort of Ale of Thunder or something from the Ice Troll's cave. Alright.

We found the cave, where we find an Ice Troll chillin' out with some giants with the Ale. One thing led to another, and battle begins, with boulders and that tenticle (I think that went into play there) and then the Ice Troll and his droogies die and we get the Ale.

Bringing the Ale back to the crones, we're sent to get the pelt off a bear. We go down the path and come apon a little totem pole made of skulls. Purple guy touches it and his hand and arm become frozen to it, and the base wouldn't move. The bear comes out of it's cave at that moment, and Purple guy cuts his arm off to escape it. There seemed to be a good amount of self mutilation going on. Purple guy passes out, and we drag him away. Fighting the bear, we knocked over the totem pole, which sent the bear into a sort of mist-ghost mode. We could see it's outline, but we could not hurt it as our weapons passed through. It repairs the totem pole, which I think we eventually busted again later, after it un-ghosted.

Eventually, we kill and skin the damn thing, and Purple guy wakes up and we bring the pelt back to the crones. Time for the final quest. we are told to go to Hell, and bring back the Sword of the Fallen Hero.

Lo and behold, we find the 50 foot gates of Hell, and push them down, as we are buff and macho, like Orcish Wrestlers. Hell, Missy could probably kick my ass.

So we're on the threshold of Hell, which is guarded by a 20 foot wide dog. Just Perfect. Cool thing was, we killed it, and purple guy took it's collar.

The mucus-mist-cloud wall behind it disappears, and there's this lady with a two colored face. Now, we were on the final barrier between Hell and our world. looking into Hell, we saw a huge infinate battle going on. The lady whose name I didn't catch as I suck with names says how we didn't belong, and going in would make us dead and all that. Purple guy asks if she could replace his arm so it would be a fair fight inside, so she takes the other one off and I think ripped out his tongue. Mojo challenges the lady, and she says how his challenge was like a challenge from a frog, and Mojo turns into a frog, which Missy holds onto while we went in Hell.

Inside Hell, we're confronted by a dead Norse King, or someone. He has the Sword of the Fallen Hero. He says he'd trade it and let us leave Hell for eight magic items or silver weapons. We had some items and weapons, but we really didn't want to give up another silver weapon, which would make it eight, so David says he'd swallow his boss, Mojo, so they could pass with seven. Instead, we give him the weapon, but he gives it back. "This amuses me. Swallow the Frog."

GM's can be Evil.

David swallows Mojo, and we get the sword and leave, and David tries to regurgitate Mojo, but to no avail. Also, it turns out Mojo is hallucinigenic. We bring the sword to the crones, who set it on the ground and say we must touch the sword and drink from the Ale. We do and I pass out, and when I get up, we're in Havenwood. We drag David back to the inn, where Divid finally coughs up Mojo. Dirk wants to use Mojo to make poison, but doesn't get to. David ends up dying from a stab wound, I think, but I think he ends up coming back to life. Mojo also gets turned back to a gnome somehow. I forget how. I also don't know what happened with Lothey man, but I heard he got back and got his leg back somehow. I dunno.