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| " The townspeople can hardly contain their excitement." ~Matt Walsh |
| "We handed out chocolate and cigarettes to the island children, most of whom that never even heard of Christmas." ~Nancy Walls |
| " Yes." "No." "YEEESSSSSS!!!!" ~ Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert respectively |
| "" Make up your own joke at home, kids." ~Jon Stewart |
| "Here's the sad part, the poodle was driving !" ~ Jon Stewart |
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