Sixteen Years

I met the world today, it was dark and cruel
& all they had to say was that everything we think and feel
Is really not our own
But sometimes I still speak when no one�s around
I feel like when I�m looking up, I�m really looking down

I wish I could say that I was always real
But I still can�t find the words to say half of what I feel
Is this the world I�m meant to grow up in?
I feel like giving up when I look at the sky
Realizing that there is light only where I can�t fly

A little boy shys away from a hand that�s about to crush his innocence
But when will you understand that life is not what you can see
He�s not too difficult to learn, not too happy to earn what he cannot take
He�s up and running from himself
Already finding peace but inside remains the guilt

Growing up, they say is so easy they say, blocking away the memory
But I know it�s just another way to lie to relieve the pain
& do you think it�s easy for me to say how I feel?
Like my past is something to remember
& all this talk can steal away the presence of this monster

& yes I do dream & I may seem like everything�s okay
Like the world is just a storm that God can blow away
But for sixteen years, that cloud�s been there drifting into this life I do fathom
But here I remain still insane on the ground
Left as a desireless phantom

Yet I feel love, I feel pain, I feel loss when I feel vain
When I feel hunger, I feel grace, I am content without a face
I watch the streets go by
The nameless faces that look to the sky
The tender kisses of a child blowing bubbles towards the buildings styled

I saw the world again, it was shallow and cruel
& I remember when it seemed to shine just like a jewel
I have lost all sense of direction, the feelings of my inner youth
Still searching for some perfection
Still searching for some truth

I met the world today & everyone was the same
Because they threw out everyone who wasn�t that way
I want to smash the glass of the mirror to see who I really am
Is this the type of world I was meant to grow up in?
I still have sorrows, I still have hears-I still try to forget those sixteen years

(December 19, 1999-16th Birthday) Eric James, copyright
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