I AM MY OWN MACHINE

I was sad again today and the people just told me not be be
As if my emotions could be turned off and on like a switch
& I refused to participate in their oblivious cat and mouse game
Then they'd get angry and I would tell them not to be
& I realized---they don't have a switch either
They acted like it was my fault I was feeling this way
They acted like I was selfish...they acted, I didn't
They pushed buttons like I was just a machine
A machine with a witty "insert emotion here" sign
But I won't be bribed so easily---I am my own machine

They requested happiness & I requested solitude
& Then they went on pretending to know what's best for me
Like one feeling is more valuable than the others
But what if this wheel was upside down?
& pain was the brand new joy?
Would they shove hurt into my crooked grin?
Well maybe the wheel should turn both ways
Just the way my laundry service heart does
It washes away my love and dries it clean
& Maybe it's just a machine---but it's
my machine

So maybe the wheel should just stop turning
If it's just a train going only one way
& When it's just one course, it's supposed be okay
But the passengers are unaware of the danger
That the wheel could one day turn the other way
& That cult-like line would drive straight into itself
Two toys merging into one solid sphere
Where the circuits of human nature aren't all one shade
& When red is racing, blue is yielding
& My voice is not a broadcast---I am my own machine

(November 4, 2003) Eric James, copyright
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

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