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It was a miserably hot day, and these two black whores were walking down the street when one (Mary Jane) says to the other (Eloise), "Eloise, honey, it is so hot out here today, why don't we take off our panties so's we be cool" Eloise says, "Oh, I don't know Mary Jane, I be too embarrassed". So they walk on a bit farther and pretty soon Mary Jane says, "Eloise, honey, I just can't stand this heat. We jess got's to take off our panties so's we be cool." And Eloise says, "Mary Jane , I juss can't, I'd be too embarrassed". So, they continue for a few more blocks, when suddenly Mary Jane stops and points to the porch of a house where an enormous black woman is sitting with her skirt hiked up to her navel, no panties on and eating a watermelon. She says, "Eloise, honey, look up there on the poc'h of dat house. Jess look at dat. I'll bet she be cool." And Mary Jane says, "Less go axe her." So they shuffle up on to the porch of the house and Eloise says, "Big Fat Mama, you sittin up here on the poc'h of dis house, what with yo skirt hiked up to you navel, no panties on and eating dat watermelon..... tell us... is you cool sittin there wif no panties on ?" And the woman says, "HONEY CHILE... I DON'T NO NUFFIN BOUTS BEING COOL, BUT IT SHO DO KEEPS THE FLIES OFF MY WATERMELON"!
- This black guy dies and goes to Heaven... Saint Peter looks at
him and says "I'm sorry sir, but we're reallybusy today. There's
no way I can let you in today unless you accomplished something really
astounding while you were on Earth" ... The black guy looks at Saint Peter
and says "well, I was the first black man ever to marry a blonde white
woman in Biloxi, Mississippi at high noon on the steps of the headquarters
of the Ku Klux Klan. Is that good enough?" ... Saint Peter looks at the
guy and says "WOW, it sure is. Come on in !" As they're walking into
Heaven Saint Peter turns to the guy and asks "so when did you get married
?" The black guy turns to Saint Peter and says "about 10 minutes
ago !"
HOW ARE BLACKS LIKE CHRISTMAS TREES ??? THEY BOTH HAVE COLORED BALLS !!!
WHY DID THE BLACK HOLD A CIGARETTE LIGHTER UNDER HIS GIRLFRIENDS PUSSY ??? HE WAS TRYING TO SMOKE HER CRACK !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL AN AFRO-AMERICAN SMURF ??? A "SMIGGER" !!!
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK WITH A JEW ??
A KID WHO FEELS GUILTY ABOUT BEING ON WELFARE !!!
- HOW MANY BLACKS DOES IT TAKE TO PAVE A DRIVEWAY ???
IT DEPENDS ON HOW THIN YOU SLICE THEM !!!
HOW DO BLACKS CURE INSOMNIA ??? THEY GET A JOB AT THE POST OFFICE !!!
WHAT WOULD FRED AND WILMA'S KID BE CALLED IF THEY WERE BLACK ????
COCOA PEBBLES !!!
WHY DO BLACK MEN HAVE SUCH STRONG ARMS ??? BECAUSE COLOR TV'S ARE HEAVY !!!
THIS WHITE GIRL PICKS UP A BLACK GUY IN A BAR AND TAKES HIM BACK TO HER APARTMENT ...SHE TAKES OFF ALL HER CLOTHES AND TELLS HIM TO DO WHAT HE DOES BEST...
SO HE TIES HER UP, STEALS HER TV SET AND JUMPS OUT A WINDOW.
WHY DO SO MANY BLACK GIRLS MISS THEIR FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL ??
MORNING SICKNESS !!!
WHAT'S BLACK AND HAS COBWEBS ??? AUNT JEMIMA'S ASSHOLE !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK & MEXICAN RESTAURANT ??? "NACHO-MAMA" !!!
WHAT ARE PIPE DREAMS TO A KID IN HARLEM ??? GROWING UP TO BE A CRACK DEALER !!!
DID YOU HEAR THAT OPRAH WINFREY GOT ARRESTED FOR DRUG SMUGGLING ???
THE POLICE FOUND 50 POUNDS OF CRACK BETWEEN HER LEGS !!!
HOW DO YOU GET A BLACK DOWN FROM A TREE ??? CUT THE ROPE !!!
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET TWELVE BLACK JURORS ASSIGNED TO A KKK TRIAL ???
EVENTUALLY YOU GET A HUNG JURY !!!
WHAT HAS BIG LIPS AND CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING ???
MARTIN LUTHER KONG JUNIOR !!!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW PERFUME FOR BLACK WOMEN ???
IT'S CALLED "EAU-DE-DOO-DA-DAY" !!!
WHY DID GOD MAKE ADAM WHITE ??? EVER TRY TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN !!!
WHAT DOES N.A.A.C.P. REALLY STAND FOR ??? NEGROES ARE ACTUALLY COLORED POLLAKS !!!
WHY DO BLACKS KEEP CHICKENS IN THEIR YARDS ??? TO TEACH THEIR KIDS HOW TO WALK !!!
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK GUY WITH BO DERICK ??? A TEN OF SPADES !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL TWO BLACK L.A. MOTORCYCLE COPS ??? "CHOCOLATE CHIPS" !!!
WHY IS THE NFL CONSIDERING CHANGING THE COLOR OF ALL REGULATION FOOTBALLS TO GREEN ??? DID YOU EVER SEE A BLACK GUY DROP A WATERMELON ???
WHAT'S LONG AND HARD ON A BLACK GUY ??? HIS DRIVERS EXAM !!!
WHAT ARE THE THREE MOST SACRED DAYS ON THE NEGRO CALENDAR ???
MARTIN LUTHER KINGS BIRTHDAY, KWANZA, AND THE DAY THE NEW CADILLACS ARRIVE !!!
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PILE OF SHIT AND A BLACK GIRLS PUSSY ???
YOU COULD BRING YOURSELF TO EAT THE PILE IF SHIT IF YOU HAD TO.
WHAT'S THE DEFINITION OF "ENDLESS LOVE" ???
A TENNIS MATCH BETWEEN RAY CHARLES AND STEVIE WONDER !!!
HOW COME MOST BLACK MENS PALMS ARE WHITE ??? WET PAINT ON THE SQUAD CARS !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL THE ONLY WHITE MAN IN A BUILDING FULL OF BLACKS ???
"THE WARDEN" !!!
WHAT WILL THEY CALL THE FIRST BLACK TEST TUBE BABY ??? JANITOR IN A DRUM !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK FRENCHMAN ??? JACQUES CUSTODIAN !!!
WHO ARE THE TWO MOST FAMOUS BLACK WOMEN ???
AUNT JEMIMA AND MOTHER FUCKER
WHY ARE THERE MORE BLACKS IN NEW YORK THAN IN ATLANTA ???
ATLANTA HAD FIRST CHOICE !!!
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BLACK WITH A GROUND HOG ???
SIX MORE WEEKS OF BASKETBALL !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A TRASH COLLECTOR MAN WITH GOOD AIM ???
"KAREEM ABDUL GAR-BAAAGE" !!!
WHAT'S BROWN, TAN & BLACK AND LOOKS GOOD ON A NEGRO ??? A DOBERMAN !!!
WHY ARE BLACKS NATURAL BORN DANCERS ???
YOU'D BE TOO IF YOU HAD TO DODGE A COAT HANGER FOR YOUR FIRST NINE MONTHS !!!
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLACKS AND TIRES ???
TIRES DON'T SING WHEN YOU PUT CHAINS ON THEM !!!
WHAT HAS SIX LEGS AND GOES HO-DE-DO, HO-DE-DO ???
THREE BLACKS RUNNING FOR AN ELEVATOR !!!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE ALL BLACK VIETNAM MOVIE ??? IT'S CALLED "A PACK-O-LIPS NOW"
WHY DO BLACKS SMELL ??? SO THAT BLIND PEOPLE CAN "SEE" THEM TOO !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK IN A TREE WITH 12 MONKEYS ?? A BRANCH MANAGER !!!
HOW DO YOU GET SICKLE-CELL ??? BY LICKING FOOD STAMPS !!!
WHAT'S JESSE JACKSONS CURE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT ???
ADDING ON 5000 NBA EXPANSION TEAMS !!
WHY DO BLACK MEN ALWAYS CRY AFTER THEY HAVE SEX ??? FROM THE MACE !!!
WHAT GOES "FEE-FI-FO FEE-FI-FO-FEE" ??? MIKE TYSON GIVING YOU HIS PHONE NUMBER !!!
WHY DO BLACKS CALL WHITES "HONKEYS" ???
BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST SOUND THEY HEAR BEFORE THE CAR HITS THEM !!!
WHY SHOULD YOU NEVER HIT A BLACK RIDING A BIKE ???
BECAUSE IT COULD BE YOUR BIKE !!!
WHAT DO KINNEY SHOES AND THE POST OFFICE HAVE IN COMMON ???
50,000 BLACK LOAFERS !!!
HOW DO YOU KEEP BLACK KIDS FROM JUMPING ON THE FURNITURE ??? VELCRO THE CEILING !
HOW DO YOU GET THEM DOWN ??? GIVE A BLIND MEXICAN A BAT & TELL HIM IT'S A PINADA !
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK HITCHHIKER ??? STRANDED !!!
WHAT'S THE DEFINITION OF "THE AMERICAN DREAM" ???
A MILLION BLACKS SWIMMING BACK TO AFRICA EACH WITH A JEW ON HIS BACK !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK GIRL WHO'SE HAD 5 OR MORE ABORTIONS ???
A CRIME STOPPER !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A 12 YEAR OLD BLACK GIRL WHO'S STILL A VIRGIN ??? "UGLY" !!!
WHAT'S BROWN & BUBBLY AND SCRATCHES ON GLASS ??? A BLACK BABY IN A MICROWAVE !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL A MERCEDES FULL OF BLACKS WITH ITS WINDOWS DOWN THAT'S BLASTING RAP MUSIC ??? STOLEN !!!
WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BLACKS IN A CADILLAC ??? GRAND THEFT AUTO !!!
WHAT'S MICHAEL JACKSON'S & RICHARD PRIORS FAVORITE CHARITY ???
"THE IGNITED NEGRO COLLEGE FUND" !!!
WHY DON'T BLACKS DRIVE CONVERTIBLES ???
BECAUSE THEIR LIPS WOULD BEAT THEM TO DEATH !!!
WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND HAS THREE EYES ??? MR. & MRS. SAMMY DAVIS JUNIOR !!!
WHY DON'T BLACK BABIES PLAY IN SAND BOXES ??? CATS KEEP COVERING THEM UP !!!
WHAT DO YOU DO TO SAVE A BLACK FROM DROWNING ??? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING !!!!
WHY CAN'T YOU PHOTOGRAPH A GROUP OF BLACKS ???
BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAY "CHEESE" THEY FORM A LINE !!!
HOW DID BLACKS LEARN TO BREAK DANCE ???
FROM WATCHING JEWS CRAWL UNDER THE DOORS OF PAY TOILETS !
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over black men would see walking down the side of the road.
Every time he would see a black man walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a
loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he
saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest,
"Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to the church five miles down the road," replied the priest. "No
problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat
and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a black man walking down the
road, and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him,
so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing hitting him. However, even though he was
certain he had missed hitting the guy, the truck driver still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where
the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and
said, "I'm sorry Father. I think I almost hit that poor black man." "That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him
with the door!"
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