Poems I

Love Bubble	Rainbow of Bad Feelings	On My Mind	Primrose and Violet
Holder of Pain Transforming	Spell of Time and Happiness	Forever Free Spell	My Fun
The Promise	Letter to a Friend (From Dana)	The Fool of the Mind	Netscape
Imouto

Love Bubble

Love is easy to feel
Hate interferes with joy
Joy begets joy
Love and toys

Love is a child's laugh
Happy and true
It surrounds us and holds us captive
Chases way the blues

And when I feel love surround me
I cry
I laugh so hard my voice echoes
For miles

And when that bubble pops
I am left alone
I cannot take the bombs of negative emotion
So I flee to what I think is home

And when I'm locked out
Denied Entrance
I am truly abandoned

11 July 2001

Rainbow of Bad Feelings

Rain falls down on my head
Outside I'm drenched, inside I'm dead

Fire burns in my soul
Though I burn I burn with cold

Fortune smiles upon my life
Its joys I love but it brings strife

I feel Blue like the sky in a tornado
And my head spins with smoke

Wisdom I have for misfortunous I am
No castles or teas just honey or jam

And yet in the bleakness there is but one light
I can see myself in the middle of blight

11 July 2001

So many things are on my mind
Scot and his infatuations
My mother's scoldings when I was a child
My grandmother's love

I remember Daddy's love
and how it was dashed from me
I am afraid in this world
To go outside

I give willingly, but I expect return
I rarely get it and clam up
Afraid o f rejection
Afraid of loving
Giving in vain

I love fantasy
Often I live in it
Pretending I'm a cat
No, I AM a cat
Teeth and claws
And flight instinct

I am hungry
I remember being rushed to the hospital
In the middle of the night
Wrapped tight in a quilt

I think of the clouds in the sky
And the rain we've had that will give us a good tomato crop

I miss my cats
I want Socks in my lap
And Hugo nuzzling me
and rubbing them both

I think of college and the stress
And the joy of being on my own
And I get afraid

Primrose & Violet

Come ye, come ye
Come and see
The Primrose and Violet
Of the first flowers of spring

Watch them, behold them
Form a sea
Of green, yellow, and purple
For all to see

Velvet petals, leaves of green
Buds of pink upon the trees
Birds return, their nests to build
Bird returns, spring songs o'er hill

Happiness and promise of heat
Each day is warmer when sun is peak
The night brings a welcomed rest
When chaos of creation is at its best

March 2001

Feel how free I make you
All ye who enter my realm
I can take your troubled thoughts
And in pleasure you will delve
I need not take from you
You must freely give
But the gifts of turmoil I can take
Make them love to live
Great bounties are in my love
A strength of power true
I need not seek to win others
As other gods do
I love and give in understanding
No rushing and no cruel
For only in love and understanding
Does life be more that gruel
Pride in good, music fair
These things do I treasure
What more to life could I need
Than that what gives me pleasure

Burn the shackles
Release them wide
Release them Horned One
Their primitive side
Let them love it
Fill them with glee
Without restraint
Forever free
Let them not
Know an end
To nature's glory
New 'round the bend
Let them know
No shame for that
Enjoying Nature
Even her wrath
And when time comes
Must return the life
Let them not
Return in strife
Let them remain
Forever free
And these four words
"So mote it be!"

My Fun

Breaks of night fill my heart
From the evil within I can no longer part
I struggle each day to see some light
Or suffer in pain at the eternal night

My wings cannot hold me aloft anymore
And I cannot escape my feelings galore
I want to be spritey as my mask surely shows
But the darkness within that drowns it grows

I want to be bright as the sunlight, a beauty to surpass
But I live with the curse of a limited lass
I fear my heart is filled not with life
I fear my soul is filled with nothing but strife

I love my cats, perhaps too much
I can purr and meow and I scratch and such
I defend myself saying it's a quirk
But I know in my heart it's a challenging smirk

I want to be normal yet then I do not
For normal for me would be a challenging lot
I would have and I would do as all others would
And I wonder to myself if all others should

My heart is unknown ripped asunder by men
I know this true as it's happened again and again
Normal for me is a long way off
And I think hoping sooner is reason to scoff

But mask in place, the show goes on
The clown, the comforter, the artist, the cat, the pawn
The mask is all I have for now that is stable
One day I'll destroy it if I ever get able

8 June 2001

The world is full of magic
A place that I know well
I promise to protect it
and all things within it dwell

People can be discouraging
Thinking in known facts only
\I promise not to follow their ways
For I know they will leave me lonely

When the darks of life come calling
I promise I will say
"Let us make some lemonade
On this joyous day."

I hope to one day be one with all
That is my ultimate goal
I promise to always be myself
And to always keep y flame aglow

Some truths are hard; some truths are easy
Some truths simply are
But from these truths
I promise all I won't stray very far

Letter to a Friend

From Dana

Hello again! I wondered my friend
Why it took do long to answer.
But we must go and be alone
Or we must face disaster.

See, there are those who disagree
With the redes that guide us,
Nothing stops them in their quest
They view our lives unjust.

We long have struggled to find our ways,
Seeking solace in what we've found.
But now we know the knowledge we sought;
It makes our songs resound.

There are many who don't understand,
And fear comes from lack of knowledge.
Then they hate us because of fear,
Seeking to expose our follies.

So be careful friend in your travels.
Listen to your heart.
Follow the redes that you have learned,
And from them never part.

Love is the Law and Love is the Bond
But this of course you know.
Keep your head high and keep your soul pure,
And you will always be good to go!

1999
Dana by the way is me, Cat!

The mind is met with many challenges in life
Every day there is learning and feeling and thinking
Some of us learn to deal with this in stride
Others of us struggle just to make a sentence

The mind plays on us while we think we have control
Unconscious beginnings battle the conscious personae we display
It is a constant battle
As hard as any war ever fought
There are good days
There are bad days
And if ever there were to be a victory
A final deciding battle
It is only found in death

Treatable but incurable
Our goals are few
Getting through the next day is enough cause for rejoicing
Waking up in the morning
Knowing we are alive
We renew our vows each day to try to be good to ourselves and others
We strive to enjoy the little and simple things most people pass by
They give us hope and joy
They give us a reason to go on with the war within

Faith in luck and love resounds in our beliefs
Our gods give us grounding
We strive to be our best

Netscape

Kitties kitties everywhere and narry a fur to knit
I am talking nonsense here and I don't care a bit
I like to talk nonsense when my brain is out to lunch
Especially when I can take a friend to a mental brunch

I am poking fun at the world and right now I know it
I am trying to get you to laugh and smile so smile and show it
I am Wonderland all over again; what was that you ask?
Only the most wonderful place in view of thier individual task

Fun and games, dock and daze, beach and surf, and circles
Eagles wings, stars and dreams, and "Family Matters" Urkle
Oh well so brainstorming isn't my thing, but chatting nets are in
I have such fun, talking none and making sounds within

Electric blue and bright purple, these colors I like to use
I try not to talk too much or these colors I seem to abuse
Talk and talk and talk and talk until time to go
Sleep and eat and classes meet and I would rather not show

Imouto

Imouto
As my file will show, I, even in character, try to defend your honor.
Forgive me...
I could not take even those I know I should ignore

They...
I am trying to get you to laugh and smile so smile and show it
What they said...
I couldn't take it...

Even if it meant my death

Gomen...Imouto...
I could not defend you.

And you will never see me again