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JOKES

There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was sitting on the porch."Excuse me, sir, butdoes your dog bite?" the tourist asked.The old man replied, "Nope."So the tourist stepped out of his car. The dog ran over snarling and growling and bit himon hisarms and legs. As the dog was dragging him away the tourist was flailing around in thedust and yelled, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man replied, "Ain't my dog."

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings.
"Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper. "And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires "I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.

A man took his dog to the Vet. He said, "Dr,, I think my dog is dead." The Vet told him to put the dog on the table and then left the room. Soon he came back with a cat. The cat sniffed the dogs ears, his nose and then walked all over him. The Vet said "Yep, your dog is dead. That will be $500 and 35 dollars."
The man said, "$500 and 35 dollars! What for?" The Vet said, "$35 for the office visit and $500 for the cat scan."

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