Mercer-isms

The following quotes are from a series of phone conversations, all of which involve the great John Bean.

These lines are appropriate for so many occasions. If you'd like to learn more, please visit our friends at Atomic Audio at asswhupper...

Here are some of the all-time greats:

· You sayin' you ain't gonna pay?

· You keep on and I'll be there.

· I understand that you don't have carpet in your home.

· You're in the damn business, ain't ye?

· Wore my tire and rim down to nuthin'.

· Is there any better price that you can give me?

· I'm tired of talkin' to chicken-shit-bastards.

· That baby ain't gonna amount to nuthin'.

· I'll whup their ass just same as I'll whup yours.

· Them boots with them eagles on the side of 'em.

· I expect you to stand there and get your ass whupped.

· I'll be down there before the damn day is out.

· We'll see you, you son-of-a-bitch.

· My brother could whup your ass.

· I'm gonna shoot me a damn dog and lay it across your counter.

· Don't you stand behind what you sell?

· Somebody's gonna pay for the damn thing.

· You ain't shakin' my shit.

· I'll take a damn 2x4 to your ass.

· I read to the paper, sir.

· She had me locked up in the big-house for a year and a month.

· Suppose you ain't heard of that neither.

· I believe I could.

· 3, 7, 9, and 12.

· You run a mighty damn shitty business I always thought.

· I don't care if he whupped 25 over there in Burlington.

· Hell, they'll blow up in your damn face.

· Have you met with Mr. Grant?

· Mail me some in a 10 1/2 , D-wide.

· A carpet bill.

· Well, God damn, water of course!

· Like if a feller's a pest, it's just good to get 'em outta the way.

· Uuuh, let me talk to the manager up there.

· Down there in the mall?

· You keep on and I'll be there.

· My name is Chuckie.

· You just finished talkin' to Kern?

· Well, my boy did it.

· I'll whup your ass by myself.

· Your brother's got to hold your hand?

· Bullshit's ass!

· And possibly a realignment job.

· You see, it is a carpet for your home - a ruuuug.

· Are they uh a radio store there?

· I ain't gonna pay.

· There's just too many people eating the buffalo.

· Well, I'll tell you what, he was a big son of a bitch who said it.

· Do they go a full 6-foot?

· It's a dangerous job...

· He whupped a boy over here in Burlington just the other day.

· Is this C&C on the highway?

· Well, I've got some customers to tend to if you don't mind.

· I believe my damned car is blowned up.

· L-A-N-T-E-R-N-D

· This week, and this week only we're giving away a 2-pound sack of Goober nuts.

· All I's wantin' to do is get this thing settled.

· If my boys come, then somebody's gonna get their ass whupped.

· Got a little damp and they've folded up and it looks like a dog's been eating on them.

· There must be somethin' wrong with the telephone connection.

· It is a tea-pot.

· I like to work them hard on a Sunday.

· You're about half the man you claim to be.

· Sounds like a name for a queer.

· Not many buffalo left on the prairie, sir.

· I know you've been up there tappin' that.

· How many you-ins are up there?

· I believe I could.

· Can you deny you sell oil filters?

· I'm a contractor up there.

· Pay for what?

· You-ins got postal service down there?

· I don't give a damn - you gonna have to change.

· You'll think full of shit when I whup your ass about 3 times.

· This ain't Jerry or whomever you claim to be.

· Sir, we don't carry that kind of shoe.

· Yessssss, I was calling about the price of .357 shells.

· It ain't nuthin' for me to whup a man's ass - you mightta heard of me.

( back to psyCohn )