Which, of course, is really good for me, because I'd like to think that what I do has some sort of subtle echo to other properties of this universe. Can our actions, or even the impulse to control them, have a slight effect on time itself, or in any other part of what is beyond this earth? The stars aren't static; they move seperately from each other unfixed. And there are trillions of planets. Odds are.. with this knowledge..scientists, and myself, believe that life (the truth, haha.. X Fizziles..) is out there. Mayhap when the Internet expands from gamma rays to reach out into other galaxies, I may be able to latch on to another girlfriend on "Yahoo Galaxy Chat". WIsconsin is *kind of* like another planet....
According to A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking's educationally enlightening masterpiece, the ultimate, eventual goal of science is to "provide a single theory that describes the whole universe." I believe there exists a universe in all of us; the minds we all posess. Some inconsistencies arise from this; we can see a small reflection of everyone's minds by their actions, and that there can only be one universe; blah blah blah blah. Whatever. I'm calling it a universe.
In my universe there is implied waves of sonic energy forced through ear drums.. I'm listening to John Frusciante. For some reason he makes me think of these unusual, irrelevant things; like my actions having the ability to change the four-dimensional space time path. Well right now in my mind there is implied four events of great importance that are having a not-so-subtle effect on my own universe. Refer to the title above, also. Here they are:
1. I'll begin with my driver's license. I obtained the sucka' on a bright, cold Wednesday afternoon in Aledo, Illinois. I drove my parents' 2000 Mitsubishi Mirage through each of the small town's many roadways. A couple problems existed in my driving. Primarily, I hadn't stopped at a stop sign long enough. The instructor told me to count to ten before going again. Also I, apparently, went too fast on residential intersections without stop signs. I was to slow down and look both ways. I thought I failed the whole thing, but she told me "You didn't do enough to fail." It didn't all sink in until I finally got the plastic card that said my name, picture, height (5'07) weight (130), eye color (BLUE) and donor? (yes). My picture was unusual. When taking it I thought I was looking right at the tiny little camera. But I guess I peered to the left. And my nose was pointing ever-so-slightly to the right. My dad called it a boxer's nose. I don't box. I don't get it.
2. Today is my second day of the longest spring break I've ever had; eleven muthaf'ing days of nothingness. Ahhhh... the credence lent to me of this strong alleviation of responsibility allows me to write this rambling little story. You special bastards... :) (Nothing much to say here, let's move on..)
3. This friday, the 29th of March, I am to attend a campus visit of the University of Illinois, specifically in the Engineering department, more specifically in the major of Computer Science. It is held 2pm at Champaign/Urbana. The university is my first choice of schools to attend. The chances of me getting in are, to the teachers I've talked to, very likely. The first Saturday after I return to school (*screams*) is when I take the ACT"s. Like the universe, these two things are related; I must have a strong score to strengthen my chances of attending the school. The Engineering department is the hardest in the school to get into; This university is fifth in the nation in computers. Getting in is an honor in itself, I think.
4. **paragraph withdrawn**
Ok... all I can possibly say about things I could possibly feel comfortable talking about that I have talked about from the aforementioned list. I don't really want to go any deeper into other topics of discussion. I'm still private, I'm still sensitive, and I'm still protective of interests of personal matter that could have a meanderingly negating effect should they be transfered to the knowledge of others. I would like to express that *my universe* is deep, mysterious, and humiliating, should it ever be.. transfered to the knowledge of others. You could laugh at me for my sensitivity. Doesn't matter. I won't know. Go ahead.
So as of now that's my "public universe". I fear one thing above all in having expressed all of this crap. I don't want anyone thinking that I'm some sort of... egocentric bastard that only thinks about myself. Trust me, I think of others in a great deal of my time. They're in my prayers and wishes. All of you. As Will Oldham said in "I See a Darkness", "Well you know I have a love, a love for everyone I know." And in my heterically present, imposed, constant mood of anger, angst, quiet rage, and fear for the outside, I really, really do have a love for all of you. If I may never express it, it is because I'm afraid. But it's there. It takes a long time for it to every be truly expressed, if every. If I didn't love (platonically) you people, I don't think I would be writing this story. I wouldn't be typing so fast so as to express all that I want to. This universe needs more love, I think.
-Travis Austin
Back to Menu
Back to Index