| Random quotes!!! |
| This page, as u might have noticed is random quotes that i like, and if u don't like em......tough!! |
| "Ohhh, they hate u!! That's right, they hate ya!!! They've put poison in your coffee, There's a pig under the table with a gun!!! I control them, through this....cuttle fish here!" - Eddie Izzard (Definate Article) |
| "Hey you kids.......never suck the juice out of a tractor!" - Eddie Izzard (Definate Article) |
| "Oooh, he doesn't suffer fools gladly.......who does suffer fools gladly?!?!? 'Helllo, i've got a pig in my trousers!!! Can i come in??' 'Come in, you fool!!!!', 'Can my friend come in too, he's got jam for brains??' 'YES! Come in, u fool!!!'" - Eddie Izzard (unrepeatable) |
| "And at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?!" - Ross (friends) |
| "Are you in there little feotus? In 9 months will you come greet us? I...will....buy you sum Addidas..." - Phoebe (friends) |
| "Danger COULD be my middle name.......but it's John" - Eddie Izzard |
| "They call me steve, because that's my name...." - Steve Marker (Garbage) |
| "DON'T PANIC!!!" - Me and Abby |
| "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!" - Abby |
| "The farmers arms have fallen off!" - Me |
| "Do you mind?!? My grandfather made that guitar entirely out of matchsticks on his death bed!" - 'The Young Ones' courtesy of LOU!! |
| "I went to see the Doctor wearing make-up: 'I've got a cough.' 'You've got a what?' 'I've got a cough.' 'You're a transvestite?' 'No, I've got a cough. I am a transvestite, but I've got a cough.' 'Well, I'd better sort the tranvestite thing out. Have to refer you for that' 'No, that's not the problem. Just the cough, thanks.'...." - Eddie Izzard (Dress to kill - the book) |
| "A gay man smoking a pipe. Does that ring any bells in the lexicon of gay images? There's some weird pipes, ones that go down to your knees. They're small furnaces. They look godd on native Americans. Two-handed fuckers. - Eddie Izzard (Dress to kill- the book) |
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| "GO! Go with the speed of a small, frog-driven Volkswagen Beetle!" - Me and Thia |
| "I could easily get into the tabloids if I shot someone, or killed someone's gran, or invaded Russia. Those are obvious ones not to do..." - Eddie Izzard (Dress to kill - the book) |
| "ME: It was him m'lud. MAGISTRATE: It's not m'lud. ME: All right. MAGISTRATE: And only answer when you are spoken to. ME: All right. MAGISTRATE: And don't point out anyone in the court. ME: Oh, right. Can I say what he looked like? MAGISTRATE: Yes. ME: Well, he looked like him." - Eddie Izzard (Dress to kill- the book) |
| "I don't want to name any names" - Billie Joe (Greenday) |
| "WORD!" - Sean |
| "I think puberty should just be over one day. And that day would be kinda weird...In the morning you'd be like *change from high to low voice at random* 'Hello, i'm sorry, i'm late miss but my voice has gone all weird and I seem to have the plague' and then that evening *in a low voice* 'Right, I'm off out to get a job with a drill'!....." - Eddie Izzard (Dress to kill) |
| "Tea and cake or death, tea and cake or death, little red cook book, little red cook book!.......'Hey You, over there...Tea and cake or death??', 'erm....cake please', 'very well, give him cake', 'thanks very much'.... 'You over there! Tea and cake or death??', 'erm, cake for me too please', 'very well, give him cake too!', 'You over there....Tea and cake or death???', 'erm, death....NO, NO, cake!!!', 'you said death first, ahh!', 'NO, i meant cake!', 'OH ALL RIGHT! Ur lucky i'm church of England'..... 'You over there, cake or death?', 'cake please', 'well we're outta cake! we only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush!', 'So my choices are..or death?! well then i'll have the chicken plese'..." - Eddie Izzard (dress to kill) |
| "Ok people, move along, nothing to see here, nothing to see here...OH MY GOD.... A HORRIBLE PLANE CRASH!!!...get a load of this people.... gather round, come on......don't be shy, gather round..." - Police Chief Wiggam (The Simpsons) |
| Email me any kool quotes u have....[email protected] |