WARNING: HARDCORE LEMON/SLASH/YAOI/WHATEVER = Graphic Boy/Boy sex -- you have been warned. Proceed with caution, as I do not wish to be flamed. I think this fic may very well be the smuttiest L/P slash on the entire site! Go me! Breaking rules AND appliances! Sorta! >:D I have finished the Evietro! (Not counting all the other lousy attempts I killed due to their sucky quality... eh. Perhaps Psycho B will take another stab at `em if she's in the mood...) It is up now! Go read and review it, and I'll give you cookies! And candy! =^.^= And don't forget, it is dedicated to batE, who IS... the master of the universe! :D Now, finally, Psycho B is free if the constant nagging in the back of her mind demanding an Evietro asap. Sigh. Wonder what my next distraction will be...? AND! I demand to know who else has me on their favorites lists! It went from zero to two in one day, and I can only figure out who one of these people are! Please, let Psycho B *know* if ya love her enough to put her on your faves! ^_^ Okay, apparently, not everyone enjoys chibi-Lance muses as much as I do... and I thought it was gonna be all cute... *grumblegrumble* So! Instead of doing the chapter I wrote before posting the last one to originally go here (does that make sense?) I am substituting it with a purely smutty thing. Just to get the slashy goodness back in your system, lest you all go through withdrawal and further flame me... *shudders* Hey -- I was bored, too. When I sat down and wrote, like, chapters fifteen through eighteen in one day, I had the "Zoobilee Zoo" theme song running rampant through my head, so that is my weak excuse as to why it's lame. I was all distracted, and stuff... O.o Riddle me this, Batman: WHY the Hell did/do I have the "Zoobilee Zoo" theme song stuck in my head? Pure random insanity, at its finest. Would someone like to explain this to me? Someone who is old enough to actually remember the show...? Ahh, whatever. Hope this brings back some of the "quality" I've been lacking as of late. Hey, even if it sucks, it's still slash. AND it's really long (for me)! I stayed up till four in the morning fine tuning it for ya'll. *I* kinda like the way it turned out, so nyah-nyah! :P It's cute. Lotsa synonyms for male body parts! Enjoy. I hate to have to start off my review response today with a semi-flame retort. Sigh. Why must people flame me in ways which I cannot determine whether it's a flame or not? You're all just *far* too clever for me... :P And response to... (don't bother reading unless you've reviewed/read the reviews recently) *[email protected]: Duuuuuude! The last time I asked, everyone said they *liked* the author's notes! I tried to squash `em, but the *readers* voted to keep them! It's not my fault if they bother anyone anymore -- my faithful reviewers seem to enjoy it, so the lengthy A/N's shall stay. And I normally keep my insertion of A/N's within the text to the barest minimum. There have been, perhaps, a half-dozen collectively. And thanks, I guess, on your saying this `isn't a bad fic'... I suppose it could have been worse, given what I've seen you say to other authors... Bad attitudes simply have no place on ff.net. >:P *S.C.: I love you! Thanks so much for your glowing praise! (Nice switch from replying to that `business' up there before yours...) I hope that, so far, your every-other-day update checks have been mostly successful. I do try! ^_^ I am an obsessive `bookmarker' myself -- I have over a hundred fics linked to my favorites list. I even took an afternoon once and catalogued them all into neat little sections! (I am a freak -- do not try this at home...) The best Evo story you've ever read, huh? That's a pretty mighty compliment, if I do say so myself. I hope people read through my reviews and see that one! *DarkFire: Yes'm, ya already have the link, sooo... that's done! ^_^ And I love you too, dearest! My, aren't we emotional today? :D Wanda on Evo is gonna be so cool...! I just pray they don't butcher her character the way they've done in the past with others. And I don't know if the over-grown magnet's gonna make an appearance in this fic -- I have ideas, but they always change so much by the time I actually write them, its truly hard to say yes or no for sure yet, you know? So the answer is... I don't know! :D *SailorWade: Only a hundred bucks? You should consider yourself lucky; it coulda been a lot worse. Monkeys creep me out, man -- one of those ones with the blue asses totally went nuts during my last trip to the zoo and started beating on the glass trying to get out and kill me! Aaaah! Blue asses! Run! But I guess I should be used to that by now -- I'm just naturally offensive, or something... O.o I hope that site makes a video of the new Wanda one, since they're taking down a bunch of the other ones... Everyone makes that Gambit fella seem so cool! Now I must go hunt down info on him... How do you know what the next X-Men movie's gonna be about? I can't find a thing! I need linkage! :D I don't know what Pie was seeing on Jerry Springer, but its one of those things where you just get to use your imagination! Well, no, I'll tell ya what it *wasn't* -- it was *not* a show with hillbilly trailer-trash themes. Those ones make me sick. Either way, Lance will not speed, because I would hate for him to get a huge fine for going sixty-two in a forty-five like Psycho B recently did... naughty me! >:D Muses are nifty! If you work around ice cream, you're gonna gain ten pounds your first month, then be so sick of the stuff you will never eat it again. Stick to the cushy, air-conditioned office jobs. They're good fun, and safer, too! Ooooh! Rogue hair spray! I can never find any white spray unless its Halloween time... D'oh! ^_^ *R: Well, there goes all my self-esteem, right down the drain. -.- I hope sleep has nothing to do with my quality, cuz I just slept for, uh, a long time. From 4pm to 8am the next morning... you do the math. Eh. It is the "Zoobilee Zoo" theme song's fault!! ::Points at the eeevil entity, lurking in the corner:: Yeah! Not my fault! (Can't you tell I'm one of those people who likes to pass on the blame...?) Now that I'm thinking about it, that damned song will probably stick in my easily-penetrated head once again. Nuts. :P *Imhotep Ardeth Bey: It is a wonder you have any room in your head for *you* babe! All those muses! Goodness! I like my muse well enough, when it isn't allowing annoying childhood songs to get stuck up in there... Now the muse will prolly get mad at me for complaining and get something even *worse* stuck in my head. Like... uh... ::cannot think of anything at the moment:: Yeah! >:D *Taiorami: Dairy Queen is the de-vil! (like from Waterboy...) Rule! I applied at Dairy Queen when I was fifteen, but they said no cuz I had to get a work permit or some crap like that... damn them! But Dairy Queen would have been a bad idea for me -- I have no self-control when it comes to sweet snacky-foods. Yummy ice cream... *drools* I feel your pain on the `gee, what do *you* want, barbie?' thing, it was much the same way at Wally-Mart with the candy displays in the checkout aisles. But! Never, ever buy any candy from there, cuz one of our closing procedures every night was checking for `mouse activity' in the candy! Meaning checking to see if anything small and furry had been biting into and snacking on the goodies! Sick to think I would always beg for the candy when I was little -- wonder if I was ever eating moused food! Yuck! But, on to another topic... Wanda! Don't much care for her little green(?) mini-Magneto helmet from the old comics. Useless, ugly thing. Blew up a dock, you say? With my precious Pie on-board? Bad news. Grr, hiss... never hurt the Pie-Pie! Or else risk Psycho B's wrath! Valley-boy chibi-Lances are nifty! ^_^ *Cherry Drop: I will never do waitressing, because I know I don't have the coordination for it. I'd be dropping and spilling crap all over the place! And then, prolly getting fired... O.o Evil Kurt = NO! It was evil chibi-Lance! Who is eternally cuter than any Kurt! I don't even wanna know why you find evil Kurt attractive, babe... Don't fret the math -- I failed math repeatedly in school, yet always managed to ace everything else (except for public speaking, which I hate with a passion. I failed it twice. Twice! Argh! And I'm a *total* blabbermouth! Crazy!) So then, why am I working where I come into contact with math every day, all day long? It is quite simple, really: I am an idiot. And I was needing a job asap, so I wouldn't get kicked out of my night school which requires 25+ hours a week of work. I'd rather be not working -- I don't need money. I never leave the freaking house, why would I need money? Oh yeah, eBay. Almost forgot... *smacks self* Duh! ^_~ *batE: You are my favorite person in the world right now, ya know that, don'tcha? ^_^ Thankies again for formatting my pics! Yummy B-Hood goodness! Yay! Hope you're having a better day today! Anyway, moving on... we've *all* been there, done that. Pietro's whining reminded me of, well, me, when I get sick or whatever. I am a big time whiner. Not so much anymore, haven't the time, but I make good use of the whining time I DO have! ^o^ Toddles is like everyone's lil' bro -- he's cute an' all, but not all that slashable. Speaking of little brothers, mine is the reason for our close-to-four-hundred-dollars-a-week grocery bill -- the little twit bumbles in late at night with the munchies, and grazes his way through all the food my mother buys in a day or two. Friggin' pot-head... But I figure, if my brother can eat just under four hundred, Freddy plus the others must take at least that much. ~ Naturally, Pie has some trust issues -- that's kinda a given; like a staple in L/P fics! Or so I've noticed. But, he and Lancey-Poo haven't been together for all that long yet, so maybe it's stemming from that. Could be genetics, maybe Mags spliced him with the `trust-no-one' gene or something... wacko. Your first job must have sucked, man! Toilet scrubbing? I don't even do that in my own house! (Gotta love mommy! *smirks*) Uh... Ninja Turtles rule! And they're mutants, too -- just like our boys! ::Warning: new theme song attaching itself to my brain!:: Teeeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Turtles in a half-shell, turtle power! Yeah! As for Lance respecting himself in the morning: read on, my precious! ^_~ *Medusa171: We saw that Pietro had at least one muse in whatever chapter that was (Pillow Talk, maybe?) but he might have more. I don't know if `muse' is a good word for it, truly -- something like `naughty little person behind the controls' might be more fitting. ^_~ The `whiny, depreciative bitch' sounds like my mother... "gay porn." `Ch. :P When the possibility of money is around the corner, you may just change your mind on the job issue, doll. Time will tell! Disclaimer: As if! No, really, if you actually believe I own any of this (makes grand sweeping gesture) then I have some prime swamp land down in Florida you may be interested in... No, seriously. I don't own anything. (Duh?) *~*~*~*~*~* Chapter nineteen: Magic Fingers Pietro was starting to get creeped out by the look on his lover's face -- a cross between raving lunatic and something infinitely calmer, despite the fact that he appeared to be listening to something... or someone. Odd. Curiosity which left Pietro wide open for an attack. Lance jumped him quickly, not that Pietro could really get up and go, even if he'd wanted to. Sprained ankle and all. Supposedly. Within seconds Pietro was effectively topless, and soon thereafter, bottomless. How Lance managed this without Pietro resisting even a little was beyond him. Pietro just sat obediently, moving when necessary, lifting his arms to allow his shirt to be torn from him, raising his hips to aid in the removal of his pajama bottoms, and staring at Lance all the while with the innocent look of a young child plastered on his face. Lance felt guilty when he saw that look. This was practically taking advantage of him! He was drugged. Lance sat down hard on the coffee table across from the smaller boy, his face hidden behind his hands. `Dumb, dumb, dumb...' He jerked when a small hand touched his shoulder. Lance looked up, seeing a very naked, childlike Pietro in front of him, blue eyes pleading. Even though there was but an almost two year age difference, Lance was suddenly very aware of how large a gap just under two years could be... `Robbing the cradle...' "Lance...?" "I'm sorry," he blurted, quickly grabbing at a handful of blankets to cover his pale friend with. Lance swaddled a dazed-looking Pietro as he mumbled some incoherent half-sentences involving muses and devils and cradles... a very confusing tirade, Pietro decided. Pietro reached up to still his frantically wrapping hands, taking them both and sitting Lance down on the couch beside him. "What's going on? What's wrong with you?" Pietro inquired, concern etching deep lines into his white forehead. Lance looked like he was about to flip out for no reason -- like he had just come to some major conclusion about something, but wasn't allowing it to fully sink in. Pietro wasn't about to let *his* Lance get whacked out over nothing, so he tried kissing some sense into him. That did the trick. Their roles had been reversed: now it was Pietro, rather than Lance, who was dominating the situation. `About time,' Pietro congratulated himself with a nod. Pietro climbed onto Lance's lap, kissing and caressing everything he came into contact with. And Lance was responding just the way Pietro had hoped he would -- having a naked, writhing speedster in one's lap tends to be at least a little arousing, even on a bad day. Pietro fully divested Lance of his upper body wear, and pushed back just the tiniest bit to allow himself access to Lance's fly. The sound of the zipper being pulled down caused Lance to gasp in anticipation. He flopped back bonelessly onto the couch, giving Pietro full reign. It was tough trying to get the pants off of someone who cannot or would not move. But Pietro thought he'd done a pretty good job, considering. Lance's jeans were at about mid-calf level. `Good enough,' Pietro decided. `Well... what the Hell? Hafta go down there anyway...' Pietro dragged the rest of Lance's clothing off with one hand, as he felt around under the couch for the economy-size bottle of lotion that Todd, for some reason, had under the couch with his other hand, taking special care to not put any pressure on his "injured" ankle. "Got it!" Pietro's outburst snapped Lance out of his self-imposed coma. "Whaa?" "I said, I've got it," Pietro answered. "Oh... okay." Lance thought a minute. "Got what, now?" "Nothin'..." Pietro replied, a small smile teasing the corners of his lips. He was gonna give Lance what no one else ever had, and hopefully, never would (besides him, that is) -- real sex. Blow jobs didn't count to Pietro, nice as they were. Neither did hand jobs. Pietro kept his current position on the floor, kneeling between Lance's legs and lubing up his hands with the creamy solution and working it until it was nice and warm. He started with the legs; smoothing the lotion over them and massaging thoroughly. Lance looked asleep. But Pietro knew, from one obvious point of excitement, that this was not the case. He continued his massage. `Well, he certainly doesn't look all that childlike doing *that* now does he?' Lance marveled to himself. He was feigning sleep, and he knew Pietro knew, because it was kind of difficult to miss something like, well, *that* between his thighs... Pietro worked his way up, cupping Lance's knees tenderly and gliding his slim fingers back down his legs. He purposely avoided going anywhere near Lance's groin, knowing that the anticipation would slowly drive the rock-tumbler insane. That was part of the plan. Pietro smirked to himself upon seeing the first drops of pre-come dribbling from the slit at the tip of Lance's prick. `He will just have to wait.' Traveling his hands up the toned thighs was as close as Pietro would allow himself to get to Lance's crotch. And Lance, sneaky little devil he was, tried to buck his hips when Pietro's fingers were passing by, in a vain attempt to come into contact with something besides the chilly air. "Nuh-uh. Naughty boys don't get any treats." "Aww..." "Turn over." "What? Why?" "Do as I say." Lance wasn't about to argue and risk the speedster's wrath. Or more importantly, the ceasing of the speedster's delicious torture. So he flipped over, adjusting himself carefully so he didn't squish his bits and pieces. PietroSmirk (TM) Pietro went to work on Lance's back, trying his best to vary pressure and technique. He knew there was a big difference between the tense, knotted muscles at the start of his ministrations, as opposed to the fully relaxed pile of flesh he was kneading now. Pietro had successfully beaten down the stress-induced knots. He ran his fingertips down Lance's spine one last time, leaving off just above the tailbone, despite Lance's protests. "Shhh, have you forgotten already what I said about naughty boys and no treats? Do you want me to stop?" "No..." "Well then, be quiet and turn back over." Lance complied. Pietro covered him from navel-to-toe in a soft blue blanket to make certain the earth-shaker did not try any funny business. As Pietro squirted another helping of lotion onto his hands, he noted with wry amusement that Lance was effectively `pitching a tent' with the blanket. Another PietroSmirk (TM) was in order. Settled comfortably atop Lance's thighs, Pietro began making large, gentle circles over the older boy's chest. Lance's eyes slid closed again, and Pietro felt a deep sigh of appreciation beneath his steadily working palms. On the downtrip, Pietro dared to tweak a nipple, watching the small nub raise and turn a dusky rose in front of his eyes before smoothing his tender touch over the spot once more, settling the bundle of nerves he'd just set afire. Lance savored every single caress. Truth be told, the relaxing nature of the rubdown *was* putting Lance to sleep now. Pietro noticed the aforementioned `tent' slowly sinking, and was mildly offended. `Lance is supposed to be in unbearable torture, not dozing off like some lazy, uh, thing...!' Pietro decided that was where he should end his massaging. With one final pinch to each of the larger mutant's nipples, Pietro flew off of him, leaving him alone and again, naked. Pietro had taken the blanket. `Wait -- where the Hell did he go with a bad ankle? Oh, he is *so* going down for this, that lying little devil! And why must it be so Goddamned cold in here? Ah, yes -- furnace.' Lance moved into a sitting position to get up off of the couch when he was hit, full force, by a speeding speedster. Pietro tackled his teammate, pinning him back onto the couch. "What happened to your bad ankle, babe?" Lance asked in mock-concern. Pietro swallowed nervously. "Guess those pills really did the trick, huh?" Pietro tried, hoping Lance would buy his line of total bull, but knowing he was doomed. His ankle had been healing steadily since they'd arrived back home, and he had been keeping this fact from the older boy. "Yeah, riiiiight." "Umm... this would be a good time to remember the nice little massage I just gave you," Pietro reminded him, grasping at straws. "You *so* need to pay for this, you know that, don't you?" Lance purred, tightening his hold on the white-haired youth. Pietro emitted a small squeak and tried to break away from the lunatic holding him captive, but given that he'd just spent a rather long time using his arms and upper body strength to soothe Lance's tense muscles, he was weak. "I, uh... I have more lotion!" Pietro cajoled, holding up the new bottle for Lance to see. He was getting desperate. `That's nice," Lance replied easily, leaning down to nibble Pietro's soft, white neck. No way was he letting the speed freak off the hook that easily. He'd have to sing for his supper! Pietro's weak attempts to free himself waned as Lance became more insistent. Pietro took advantage of Lance's thinking he was giving up, and snuck out of his grasp. He didn't get far, however -- he merely seated himself on the floor between the dark-haired boy's legs and began applying more lotion to his hands. Lance watched, transfixed, as Pietro smoothed the creamy substance over his skin. Pietro leaned forward, hovering, and enjoying the last moments of Lance's anticipation before trailing his tongue from the base of Lance's penis all the way to the tip, then engulfing the purple peak in his mouth. This time, Lance wasn't chastised for bucking wildly beneath him. But Pietro's intent was only to get him up to full-mast -- no blow jobs this time. He foresaw Lance's displeasure at the service ending so soon, but noticed how he looked on in curiosity as Pietro added a bit more lotion to his already slimed hands. He appeared even more intrigued as Pietro started to work the material onto his shaft, giving what could only be described as an excellent hand job. Lance settled back onto the couch, set on enjoying his pleasure trip to the end. When Pietro ceased his actions yet again, Lance opened his eyes, only to see his lover climbing gingerly onto his lap. `Oh, sweet Jesus, he's not gonna... he is. Oh my God.' Pietro knew it was gonna hurt. He wasn't disillusioning himself there. But this was for *Lance* -- the only someone who would ever come close to deserving it. He positioned himself over Lance's throbbing manhood, and gritted his teeth to the certain imminent pain. Pietro felt Lance's hands come to rest gently, reassuringly, on his hips. Slowly, he began to lower himself. *** The pain wasn't as great as he had imagined -- not comfortable at first, of course, but not awful either. Pietro found it difficult to relax in such a position, but Lance was incredible -- he was so careful with the smaller boy, almost as if he feared he would shatter and break like delicate china. But Lance had done one thing to distract Pietro at the moment of impact: he'd pulled him close and bitten him, at the pale junction where neck meets collarbone -- hard. Pietro's cries were quickly smothered by Lance's mouth closing over his. Lance continued distracting his mate until it seemed he was used to the intrusion -- it was, after all, a lot to take in at one time. Lance waited, looking into Pietro's eyes for permission to proceed. The slender mutant nodded his approval, but tensed slightly in apprehension. "I'll go real slow for you, Pie," Lance whispered in his ear, planting a soft kiss there after the murmured promise. Pietro knew the only way for him to be in control was for him to be doing the moving. With that thought in mind, he initiated the next movement. Working slowly up and down Lance's erection, Pietro could feel all of his inhibitions give way. It wasn't paining him nearly as bad now, and with him on top, he had complete control. Lance seemed to sense that was what Pietro needed. As he became more comfortable with what he was doing, Pietro even reached for Lance's lips when he wasn't out of range. The speed demon was thoroughly enjoying his mutant powers in the department of resiliency and strength in his legs. `How could a normal human being keep this up?' he wondered as he quickened his pace. Pietro sensed Lance nearing his climax, but wasn't quite ready to have it all end so soon. He stopped abruptly, and Lance's first impression was that Pietro was in some kind of pain. "Oh God -- are you all right?" he asked quickly, searching Pietro's eyes frantically for his answer. "S'ok. Just don't want you coming yet." PietroSmirk (TM) "Don't scare me like that," Lance said, squeezing Pietro like one might a life-sized stuffed animal. "I thought I'd hurt you... I could never forgive myself if I did." "Lance, quit blubbering, for chrissakes. I'm fine." "Good. Then you wouldn't mind... if I did this!" Lance cackled, flipping Pietro onto his back. "Hey! No fair!" "All's fair in love and war," Lance returned, bringing his lips to Pietro's as he began his rhythm. Pietro kinda liked this new position, too -- he could relax a little more, and let Lance do the work for a change. Plus, if he wrapped his legs around Lance's waist, every stroke seemed to hit an entirely new area he hadn't noticed before... "OhMyGodLance!" Pietro yelled as he spurted all over the both of them, clinging to Lance desperately as he came. Lance followed shortly thereafter, calling out Pietro's name and collapsing on top of the smaller mutant in exhaustion, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Both of them were flushed, sweaty and sticky, thanks to the lotion. But neither was ready just yet to part and hit the showers -- both were, in fact, quite happy to remain entwined on the living room couch, knowing that this time, they had plenty of time to relax and cuddle together before the other two arrived home from school. *~*~*~*~*~*~* Babe-a-licious! And that's all I gotta say about that! :D No more updated summary/continuation thing, because if you don't freaking know what's going on by now, there's not much hope for you. I don't wanna baby ya'll anymore -- you have to actually *read* the story! New concept, I know. Ooooh! O.o (I bet ya'll read *this* one, ya little hentais!) `Ch, would it help if I just stamped `SEX SEX SEX' as the title? Eh. You people are good fun. Luv ya! Interactive trivia blah blah thing (too lazy to re-type it all): Where has everyone worked or, if you are too young to work yet, where would you *like* to work when you can? Lessee, I got a Dairy Queen, a Baskin Robbins, a `desk-job-with-air-conditioning,' waitressing, a `hotel toilet scrubber' and a couple `I-don't-cares,' Nice variety! ^.^ Just for fun, let's try to list all the places I *applied* to, but didn't get for whatever reason... (like anyone really cares. Just skip this section unless you're starved for cheap, pointless entertainment.) - Old Navy (Would have taken it if an annoying girl from school wasn't working there... grr...) - Target (Was accepted at the same time as Wally-Mart, even took the drug/pee test at the same place on the same day, but W-M was offering a whopping fifteen cents more per hour! Go me! I'm a whore for money! *sob*) - Einstein Bagels (Stupid bitch didn't wanna hire someone w/ no work experience...) - Estee Lauder counter at Nordstrom's (Again, no experience...) - Pet store (Glad this didn't work out, the place smelled icky...) - Sam Goody (Couldn't recite their promo speech word-for-word after hearing it once, so they didn't want me O.o) - Chick-Fil-A (All I have to say is this: thank God they didn't hire me! Religious freaks...) - Wendy's (Same as above, minus `religious freaks'...) - Burger King (Same as above, again...) - McDonald's (Same again... gotta love not having the under sixteen work permits, no? My savior!) - Dairy Queen (God, help us all... a hyped-up sugared Psycho B speedfreak!) - Great Clips - receptionist (*hmph* -- they give shitty haircuts, anyways...) - Toys-R-Us (Holiday time. Can we say thank God I wasn't hired? I think we can...) - Various supermarkets... (Dude. Enough said.) The moral of this story: work sucks. And it will always suck, unless you happen to be making a lot of money. Then it still sucks, just not as badly! >:D New trivia blah blah blah thing: Uh... which ear pierced on a guy means you're gay? What if *both* are pierced? No guessing! Or at least, let me *know* if you're just guessing... (Not really X-Men related this time... wait, yes it is! Duh! Pietro's ear is pierced on one side!! Silly Psycho B!) REVIEWS ARE NIFTY! =^.^=

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