X
Two
Promises
More
months, to the number of twelve, had come and gone, and Mr. Charles Darnay was
established in
In
A
certain portion of his time was passed at
Now,
from the days when it was always summer in
He
had loved Lucie Manette from the hour of his danger. He had never heard a sound
so sweet and dear as the sound of her compassionate voice; he had never seen a
face so tenderly beautiful, as hers when it was confronted with his own on the
edge of the grave that had been dug for him. But, he had not yet spoken to her
on the subject; the assassination at the deserted chateau far away beyond the
heaving water and the long, tong, dusty roads--the solid stone chateau which
had itself become the mere mist of a dream--had been done a year, and he had
never yet, by so much as a single spoken word, disclosed to her the state of
his heart.
That
he had his reasons for this, he knew full well. It was again a summer day when,
lately arrived in
He
found the Doctor reading in his arm-chair at a window. The energy which had at
once supported him under his old sufferings and aggravated their sharpness, had
been gradually restored to him. He was now a very energetic man indeed, with
great firmness of purpose, strength of resolution, and vigour of action. In his
recovered energy he was sometimes a little fitful and sudden, as he had at
first been in the exercise of his other recovered faculties; but, this had
never been frequently observable, and had grown more and more rare.
He
studied much, slept little, sustained a great deal of fatigue with ease, and
was equably cheerful. To him, now entered Charles Darnay, at sight of whom he
laid aside his book and held out his hand.
"Charles
Darnay! I rejoice to see you. We have been counting on your return these three
or four days past. Mr. Stryver and Sydney Carton were both here yesterday, and
both made you out to be more than due."
"I
am obliged to them for their interest in the matter," he answered, a
little coldly as to them, though very warmly as to the Doctor. "Miss
Manette--"
"Is
well," said the Doctor, as he stopped short, "and your return will
delight us all. She has gone out on some household matters, but will soon be
home."
"Doctor
Manette, I knew she was from home. I took the opportunity of her being from
home, to beg to speak to you."
There
was a blank silence.
"Yes?"
said the Doctor, with evident constraint. "Bring your chair here, and
speak on."
He
complied as to the chair, but appeared to find the speaking on less easy.
"I
have had the happiness, Doctor Manette, of being so intimate here," so he
at length began, "for some year and a half, that I hope the topic on which
I am about to touch may not--"
He
was stayed by the Doctor's putting out his hand to stop him. When he had kept
it so a little while, he said, drawing it back:
"Is
Lucie the topic?"
"She
is."
"It
is hard for me to speak of her at any time. It is very hard for me to hear her
spoken of in that tone of yours, Charles Darnay."
"It
is a tone of fervent admiration, true homage, and deep love, Doctor
Manette!" he said deferentially.
There
was another blank silence before her father rejoined:
"I
believe it. I do you justice; I believe it."
His
constraint was so manifest, and it was so manifest, too, that it originated in
an unwillingness to approach the subject, that Charles Darnay hesitated.
"Shall
I go on, sir?"
Another
blank.
"Yes,
go on."
"You
anticipate what I would say, though you cannot know how earnestly I say it, how
earnestly I feel it, without knowing my secret heart, and the hopes and fears
and anxieties with which it has long been laden. Dear Doctor Manette, I love
your daughter fondly, dearly, disinterestedly, devotedly. If ever there were
love in the world, I love her. You have loved yourself; let your old love speak
for me!"
The
Doctor sat with his face turned away, and his eyes bent on the ground. At the
last words, he stretched out his hand again, hurriedly, and cried:
"Not
that, sir! Let that be! I adjure you, do not recall that!"
His
cry was so like a cry of actual pain, that it rang in Charles Darnay's ears
long after he had ceased. He motioned with the hand he had extended, and it
seemed to be an appeal to Darnay to pause. The latter so received it, and
remained silent.
"I
ask your pardon," said the Doctor, in a subdued tone, after some moments.
"I do not doubt your loving Lucie; you may be satisfied of it."
He
turned towards him in his chair, but did not look at him, or raise his eyes.
His chin dropped upon his hand, and his white hair overshadowed his face:
"Have
you spoken to Lucie?"
"No."
"Nor
written?"
"Never."
"It
would be ungenerous to affect not to know that your self-denial is to be
referred to your consideration for her father. Her father thanks you.
He
offered his hand; but his eyes did not go with it.
"I
know," said Darnay, respectfully, "how can I fail to know, Doctor
Manette, I who have seen you together from day to day, that between you and
Miss Manette there is an affection so unusual, so touching, so belonging to the
circumstances in which it has been nurtured, that it can have few parallels,
even in the tenderness between a father and child. I know, Doctor Manette--how
can I fail to know--that, mingled with the affection and duty of a daughter who
has become a woman, there is, in her heart, towards you, all the love and
reliance of infancy itself. I know that, as in her childhood she had no parent,
so she is now devoted to you with all the constancy and fervour of her present
years and character, united to the trustfulness and attachment of the early
days in which you were lost to her. I know perfectly well that if you had been
restored to her from the world beyond this life, you could hardly be invested,
in her sight, with a more sacred character than that in which you are always
with her. I know that when she is clinging to you, the hands of baby, girl, and
woman, all in one, are round your neck. I know that in loving you she sees and
loves her mother at her own age, sees and loves you at my age, loves her mother
broken-hearted, loves you through your dreadful trial and in your blessed
restoration. I have known this, night and day, since I have known you in your
home."
Her
father sat silent, with his face bent down. His breathing was a little
quickened; but he repressed all other signs of agitation.
"Dear
Doctor Manette, always knowing this, always seeing her and you with this
hallowed light about you, I have forborne, and forborne, as long as it was in
the nature of man to do it. I have felt, and do even now feel, that to bring my
love--even mine--between you, is to touch your history with something not quite
so good as itself. But I love her. Heaven is my witness that I love her!"
"I
believe it," answered her father, mournfully. "I have thought so
before now. I believe it."
"But,
do not believe," said Darnay, upon whose ear the mournful voice struck with
a reproachful sound, "that if my fortune were so cast as that, being one
day so happy as to make her my wife, I must at any time put any separation
between her and you, I could or would breathe a word of what I now say. Besides
that I should know it to be hopeless, I should know it to be a baseness. If I
had any such possibility, even at a remote distance of years, harboured in my
thoughts, and hidden in my heart--if it ever had been there--if it ever could
be there--I could not now touch this honoured hand."
He
laid his own upon it as he spoke.
"No,
dear Doctor Manette. Like you, a voluntary exile from
His
touch still lingered on her father's hand. Answering the touch for a moment,
but not coldly, her father rested his hands upon the arms of his chair, and
looked up for the first time since the beginning of the conference. A struggle
was evidently in his face; a struggle with that occasional look which had a
tendency in it to dark doubt and dread.
"You
speak so feelingly and so manfully, Charles Darnay, that I thank you with all my
heart, and will open all my heart--or nearly so. Have you any reason to believe
that Lucie loves you?"
"None.
As yet, none."
"Is
it the immediate object of this confidence, that you may at once ascertain
that, with my knowledge?"
"Not
even so. I might not have the hopefulness to do it for weeks; I might (mistaken
or not mistaken) have that hopefulness to-morrow."
"Do
you seek any guidance from me?"
"I
ask none, sir. But I have thought it possible that you might have it in your
power, if you should deem it right, to give me some."
"Do
you seek any promise from me?"
"I
do seek that."
"What
is it?"
"I
well understand that, without you, I could have no hope. I well understand
that, even if Miss Manette held me at this moment in her innocent heart-do not
think I have the presumption to assume so much-- I could retain no place in it
against her love for her father."
"If
that be so, do you see what, on the other hand, is involved in it?"
"I
understand equally well, that a word from her father in any suitor's favour,
would outweigh herself and all the world. For which reason, Doctor
Manette," said Darnay, modestly but firmly, "I would not ask that
word, to save my life."
"I
am sure of it. Charles Darnay, mysteries arise out of close love, as well as
out of wide division; in the former case, they are subtle and delicate, and
difficult to penetrate. My daughter Lucie is, in this one respect, such a
mystery to me; I can make no guess at the state of her heart."
"May
I ask, sir, if you think she is--" As he hesitated, her father supplied
the rest.
"Is
sought by any other suitor?"
"It
is what I meant to say."
Her
father considered a little before he answered:
"You
have seen Mr. Carton here, yourself. Mr. Stryver is here too, occasionally. If it
be at all, it can only be by one of these."
"Or
both," said Darnay.
"I
had not thought of both; I should not think either, likely. You want a promise
from me. Tell me what it is."
"It
is, that if Miss Manette should bring to you at any time, on her own part, such
a confidence as I have ventured to lay before you, you will bear testimony to
what I have said, and to your belief in it. I hope you may be able to think so
well of me, as to urge no influence against me. I say nothing more of my stake
in this; this is what I ask. The condition on which I ask it, and which you
have an undoubted right to require, I will observe immediately."
"I
give the promise," said the Doctor, "without any condition. I believe
your object to be, purely and truthfully, as you have stated it. I believe your
intention is to perpetuate, and not to weaken, the ties between me and my other
and far dearer self. If she should ever tell me that you are essential to her
perfect happiness, I will give her to you. If there were--Charles Darnay, if
there were--"
The
young man had taken his hand gratefully; their hands were joined as the Doctor
spoke:
"--any
fancies, any reasons, any apprehensions, anything whatsoever, new or old,
against the man she really loved--the direct responsibility thereof not lying
on his head--they should all be obliterated for her sake. She is everything to
me; more to me than suffering, more to me than wrong, more to me--Well! This is
idle talk."
So
strange was the way in which he faded into silence, and so strange his fixed
look when he had ceased to speak, that Darnay felt his own hand turn cold in
the hand that slowly released and dropped it.
"You
said something to me," said Doctor Manette, breaking into a smile.
"What was it you said to me?"
He
was at a loss how to answer, until he remembered having spoken of a condition.
Relieved as his mind reverted to that, he answered:
"Your
confidence in me ought to be returned with full confidence on my part. My
present name, though but slightly changed from my mother's, is not, as you will
remember, my own. I wish to tell you what that is, and why I am in
"Stop!"
said the Doctor of Beauvais.
"I
wish it, that I may the better deserve your confidence, and have no secret from
you."
"Stop!"
For
an instant, the Doctor even had his two hands at his ears; for another instant,
even had his two hands laid on Darnay's lips.
"Tell
me when I ask you, not now. If your suit should prosper, if Lucie should love
you, you shall tell me on your marriage morning. Do you promise?"
"Willingly.
"Give
me your hand. She will be home directly, and it is better she should not see us
together to-night. Go! God bless you!"
It
was dark when Charles Darnay left him, and it was an hour later and darker when
Lucie came home; she hurried into the room alone-- for Miss Pross had gone
straight up-stairs--and was surprised to find his reading-chair empty.
"My
father!" she called to him. "Father dear!"
Nothing
was said in answer, but she heard a low hammering sound in his bedroom. Passing
lightly across the intermediate room, she looked in at his door and came
running back frightened, crying to herself, with her blood all chilled,
"What shall I do! What shall I do!"
Her
uncertainty lasted but a moment; she hurried back, and tapped at his door, and
softly called to him. The noise ceased at the sound of her voice, and he
presently came out to her, and they walked up and down together for a long
time.
She
came down from her bed, to look at him in his sleep that night. He slept heavily,
and his tray of shoemaking tools, and his old unfinished work, were all as
usual.