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�We have a very, very strong spirit of unity right now, and I think that it’s my obligation to maintain it.�
— RUDOLPH GIULIANI
mayor of New York
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The world was shocked when billionare Bill Gates announced that he would be giving out an award for the greatest young man in history
Gates told reporters that he needed to dump some money on something for publicity, and that he felt this was the right place to do it. Reporters were confused as to why Gates would openly announce that the award was just a publicity stunt, but Gates' publicists blame it on an overactive thyroid plagueing Gates for the past few days.
Thousands of candidates were chosen throughout Canada and the US, and were narrowed down by a large team of pannelists. After 3 months of sifting through nominations, the judges were left with a an amazingly smart, witty, and generous young man by the name of Alex Wilson.
Reporters interviewed Alex yesterday, in which he stated "I never even knew I was in this thing!". However, he is very happy that he won, stating "This is the best day of my life!" and "Zeppellin rules!". When asked what he would do after receiving the award, he replied "I'm goin to Dinseyland!".
The awards show is scheduled for November 13th
SOME SAY AWARD IS JUST FARCE
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Michael Bloomberg, the billionaire media entrepreneur, easily won the Republican nod over former U.S. Rep. Herman Badillo.
The primary had been scheduled for Sept. 11, but it was delayed after two jetliners toppled the twin towers, leaving the nation’s largest city in chaos, its economy in jeopardy and more than 6,000 feared dead.
Bloomberg spent more than $20 million of his own money to defeat Badillo. He received 42,690 votes, or 72 percent, to Badillo’s 16,710 votes, or 28 percent.
Even if Giuliani were not involved, “it won’t be a normal campaign because these are not normal times,” said Green, 56, the government’s elected watchdog. “The city is somber. Voters I met today were not enthusiastic about voting.”
The unofficial returns did not include at least 15,000 absentee ballots or write-in ballots, all of which will be counted later. Exit polling of Republican voters indicated that about 15 percent wrote in a candidate’s name — presumably Giuliani — which is not enough to affect the primary’s outcome.
The other Democratic candidates were City Comptroller Alan Hevesi and City Council Speaker Peter Vallone. Democrats outnumber Republicans in the city by a 5-to-1 ratio.
MSNBC.com’s Alex Johnson and The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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Huge anti-U.S. rally in Kabul streets
