Are they feelings of hate, or of envy?
Or are they just helping me fulfill my destiny?
Will anything in life help me to see,
What exactly these feelings are?
Or will I be forever guessing,
And continually pressing,
Making me seem so far,
Away from this world,
Where everything happens for better or worse.
Maybe it's true that this life is a curse,
And is the reason I am unfurled.
Or maybe it isn't,
Maybe these feelings are simply a gift.
Will these thoughts ever drift,
After they have curiously arisen?
Nothing makes sense and I don't expect it to soon.
I hope these feelings fade.
I sit here thinking and I become afraid,
Of so many an afternoon.
They have made my life blissful,
But they've also made it perplexing.
How is it that I am supposed to not be vexing,
When I don't know how I can be joyful?
Crystal Hayes 2002
