PART 8: Tracer is SO Bad-Ass
[Enter the party in a forest]
SPEK: I am tired of all these stupid Forest Imps already!
PSIKO: Hey, just because you cannot kill them does not mean that you can be angry.
SPEK: But they only have eight friggin� hit points!
PSIKO: And you can�t even do that much damage to one.
SPEK: Just shut up�or else!
PSIKO: Or else what?
SPEK: Or else I�ll blast you with�damn!
PSIKO: That�s what I thought. [Enter a Madpony]
ROSE: What is that?
PSIKO: If I recall correctly, that is a Madpony. They are easily angered and like to trample things with their hooves.
SPEK: This is just lovely. First the imps, and now this.
TRACER: Stand back, my brave traveling companions. He shall taste the wrath of my Rapier! [Charges the Madpony] Super Tiger-Strike Technique!
SPEK: Super Tiger-Strike Technique? What the hell?
[Tracer cuts to the left, then leaps across diagonally to the right, his Rapier tearing through the Madpony, which falls to the ground, dead]
ROSE: Wow!
PSIKO: Dude, that was awesome!
SPEK: Bah! I�ve seen better.
PSIKO: Like what?
SPEK: Like�THIS!
PSIKO: You have no magic, remember?
SPEK: Oh yeah, I forgot.
ROSE: Again? That�s the forty-seventh time in the last two hours!
SPEK: So? Maybe I use magic to take care of any threats.
ROSE: So you think we are threats?
SPEK: No, you�ve got me all wrong. I make threats and use magic to carry the threat out. That is what I meant.
ROSE: Oh�that is mean.
PSIKO: I would agree, but it does stay true to his alignment.
ROSE: That still does not make it right. [Enter a wolf]
PSIKO: True, but it justifies his actions because if he were to do otherwise, he would suffer a mandatory alignment change, which, in the process, brings about severe penalties and harsh consequences. Therefore, it is perfectly understandable that he would want to avoid this, so he must abide by the limitations of his evil alignment.
ROSE: Ok, I see what you mean.
SPEK: Yeah�that�s exactly why� (Aside) Fools! They do not realize the true reasons for my actions. I WILL KILL THEM ALL! [Everyone looks at Spek] I meant our enemies� (Aside) Suckers!
TRACER: No, do not use your powerful magic to dispose of this single, pitiful creature and put an end to this battle immediately. I shall defeat it!
PSIKO: What about me? Why should you get all the fun, not to mention the bonuses from the kill? Anyway, your reaction modifiers and dexterity scores are no where near mine, therefore I shall vanquish this foul fiend. Super Tiger-Strike Technique! [Tries to imitate Tracer�s maneuver, but slips and falls] Ouch, that hurts my pride. [The wolf mauls him] Gack! It�s razor-sharp claws are piercing my flesh! Heal me, quick!
SPEK: Oh, shut up. It only dealt one damage to you.
PSIKO: Oh yeah, sorry, I got carried away.
ROSE: Why did I agree to come along on this?
TRACER: Halt, bad-smelling wolf-thingy. Thou shalt eat swords! [Grabs Psiko�s Rapier] TWO-FISTED MONKEY STYLE! [Leaps at wolf with a Rapier in each hand, bringing them in an X and slashing outward, decapitating the wolf]
PSIKO: That was a killer attack!
ROSE: Gruesome.
SPEK: Ha! That was nothing. I could do better.
PSIKO: With your missing spells, right?
SPEK: Exactly�damn it all again! I shall regain my spell book if it is the last thing I do! That Ultima spell would obliterate you all!
PSIKO: Tracer, how on earth do you do those attacks? Your dexterity score is no where near what it should be to do that.
TRACER: I dunno. I just do them.
SPEK: Super Tiger-Strike Technique? Two-Fisted Monkey Style?
TRACER: Yup!
SPEK: Don�t those names seem a bit�odd to you?
TRACER: Not at all. You see, there are�
SPEK: Just forget I asked.
TRACER: Asked what?
PSIKO: Wow, those are actually here on his character sheet!
SPEK: What are?
PSIKO: Those attacks.
SPEK: No way, you mean he didn�t actually just come up with those names right off the top of his head.
PSIKO: I guess not. See, he is specialized in swords, and he has developed a proficiency in the Bestiary Fighting Style, which is a set of sword techniques that have been given animals to represent them, like the Venomous Cobra Slash and the Swooping Sparrow Strike.
TRACER: See, I told ya! I am SO bad-ass!
SPEK: Lets just go back into town and buy some more spells then rest at the inn� (Aside) Then I�ll kill him while he sleeps, the impotent fool!
[Exeunt]