thoughts5

                                                           Rock Stars as Pebbles
                                                     By: Marlene Arpe

Leg warmers are evil. The same goes for hockey hair, shoulder pads and creepy physical education/music teachers who "Always knew who would make it". To the majority of us, our lurid, punky pasts and naked-baby-on-a-bear-skin snap shots don't matter much, but for the unfortunate mega-stars who appear on "Before They were Rockstars", it all amounts to a big, heavy embarrasment sandwich with a side order of cringe.

The U.S.-based show VH1 and akin to the "Before They were Stars", has a a good, hearty laugh at the expense of the rich and somewhat talented. The same way supermarket tabloids will pay you money ( or so I hear... ) if you have a picture of Oprah in curlers at her grade-school talent show. Before They were Rockstars solicits old footage of musicians. And they've collected
some juicy video.

     Take gazillionaire/songstress/actress/
queen of the world J.Lo (right), example:
She wasn't all that when she appeared in her
high school production of Godspell.or when
she starred in Nurses on the Line with Lind-
say Wagner (which is not a porno)

Things started to look up when she became
a Fly Girl on "In Living Color", but only com-
pared to her stints on such winners such as
"Second Chances and Hotel Malibu.

Shania Twain on the other hand, shows some
great promise turning to-and-fro and then fro
again as a booming voice-over proclaims that
"Shania looks cool and so will you in a CMT
100-percent cotton T".

But the real fun is watching bands like Sugar
Ray back when they were heavy headbangers
Shrinky Dinks (no, really) & their signature
song was "Big, Black Woman", or the Goo-
Goo Dolls wearing really bad shorts and per-
forming on the public access show Rocker
Room, in a scene out-Wayning Wayne's
World. You just can't make stuff like that up.

By the way, The clip of Britney Spears, wearing white pumps and singing "Silent Night" at the 1996 Miss New Orleans Pageant should be enough to put Bob Dole off the Pepsi.   To visit the VH1 Before They were Rockstars site?.. Click --> BTWROCKSTARS