| trees are weird with aerosol shivering through my veins i shimmer when you love me i weep when you are ill in sickness and in health i am Tree you are Dirt stay good to me feed me keep my leaves hearty and my trunk as equally mighty my sweet, sweet love and i will fertilize you someday with my rotting flesh. it shall be a most splendid affair |
| I fall again On imaginary ice. The knee cries out for mercy. "Oh, the pain!" But would that it were simply the cries of a toddler where bellowing sobs decrease to mere sniffles. Rather, it grows with my impatience for my own contemptible fragility, Screaming all the more and more Until I can tolerate it no longer. What is such pain but nerves Scrambling around, Wound up and terrified, Annoyed that their little order Has been disturbed? We are slaves to nerves. Thoughts, Trapped inside these shells That tell us what to feel. I fall again upon the knee and It is only the flesh and the blood and the bone, A joint craving my attention. I wish to abandon this knee, To let it drown In its own demanding cries And throbbing alarms, To swell itself into nonexistence. |
| leave. i have things to do, yet, you, fruitless, grasp me by my brain-strings and create for me a world where nothing seems quite right to do. i have lists, please understand, whole lists with tasks or decisions to make. drawing trees organizing pennies by year or cleanliness taking a walk what to do next saturday what to do right now. yet you, pointless, build your bars upon me and in my mind, there is nothing to do now. so please leave so that i can do something. |
| every other minute i write totally different i've been the same this whole time but i have not changed at least not much it was you who first gave me paper and you who said "write stuff" and you who asked me "what does that mean?" it was you who guided my hand to create the curves of my first letter Q and then you said "you write totally different every other minute" so you led me to school and for the next twenty-odd years it was you who held a gun to my head saying "you had better learn this" guess what i think about when i see that i write different every other minute. i think of you and i can't stop thinking of the curves in Q. i think of all the writing all those Qs miles of graphite varying in intensity and style my lifeline and, oh, if only i had an eraser. |
| everytime i slit my wrists you sigh you say i shouldnt wanna die die die and i asked you why you repeated die twice and you said you just wanted to hit it home and then asked me if maybe you should have repeated it just once or if one more time would have been more effective so i just said shut up and so you did |
| frozen like a memory fireworks bring the rain bright lights can't hear you whispering to those you've slain just screw yourself inside me this shadow of those i've seen whisper sweetly in my ear for you are lethally serene build a wall of fire around me to crack cold hearted dreams if you find my heart please stab it dear, i promise i won't scream emotional stormy sea calm yourself now please because silence is divinity and divinity is my disease |
| I've got a bone to pick with you! Seriously. I had chicken last night, and there was a bone in it, and in the bone was like marrow and other stuff, and i would like to pick it with you. |
| deep inside, beneath the skin, it's where i bleed, where my thoughts begin. it's where i burn all the while, but it only hurts when i see you smile. kisses - an episodic trance. we're naked in this chaotic expanse. and crashing into a jagged haze, still you smile and feed the blaze. |
| my words - my thoughts- they seldom shine. they are the ground. i climb them. they draw my life and inflict my dreams. invisible. they enrage, enlighten, inspect, deform, portray, relay, and intend nothing. |
| if i had tripped you'd be a bruise that never touched my skin and the black and the blue of the wound wouldn't have set in. the pain that you inflict beckoned me nearer and over time i began to see clearer and clearer what a dream that i lived in my own little mind that i denied opportunities of the terrifying kind so no more dreams no more fantasies clouding what i see i just want to relish in the pains happening to me |