1. What's your philosophy about dog training?

a. I believe it's imperative for responsible control that my dog respond reliably to a "down" or "come" command.
b. Training's for control freaks. I love my pooch and my pooch loves me, so what's the problem?

2. How essential is it that you keep your dog on a leash when it's outdoors?

a. I am the litigation-liable human. I am in control of the canine at all times.
b. My dog's being on a leash is comparable to cyclists' wearing helmets. They're safe, mandated and take all the joy out of life. My dog will come back when I call or at least when it's hungry.

3. What do you do if your dog becomes a little snappish with kids?

a. Don't fret. It's probably the kids' fault.
b. I fret. If my dog is child aggressive, I never allow it to be loose and unsupervised near children. And I'm taking it to obediance training classes.

4. How much exercise does your dog need?

a. If I feel like jogging, I take Max along as company and a great icebreaker for flirting. On the other hand, if I feel more like a bowl of chips and a TV marathon, Max should be well-content to pig out on some pup treats and get comatose on the couch with me.
b. I know the amount of exersice required depends on the breed, but puddles of urine indoors or chewed-up carpets are generally considered a sign Otto needs out more often, so I do that.

5. What do you do when your dog eliminates on a walk?

a. I use a plastic bag, pick up the droppings and dispose of them appropriately.
b. I concentrate intently on something in the distance until my dog is done, then hike out there on the double.

6. How often do you brush and bathe your dog?

a. When friends have turned down invitations to my house for a few weeks running, I decide whether a bath is in order. I check my dog, too.
b. Depends on breed and lifestyle. I know longhaired dogs need daily brushing, and dogs that roll in the mud need more frequent baths. I let common sense-and vet advice- be my guide.

7. How do you handle flea and tick control?

a. Give up and admit that fleas rule.
b. I flea-comb my dog, vacuum rugs, clean the dog bed and invest in one of the new anti-flea products.

8. What do you feed your dog and how much?

a. As much as it wants of what I eat. Hey, it's a member of the family.
b. I check the quantity, listed per dog weight, in the chart on the dog food bag. I check the nutrients and my dog's girth and feed accordingly.

9. Is your dog neutered?

a. What? Before it had the chance to see what puppy love was all about?
b. I had my dog neutered early.

10. Is your dog socialized?

a. You bet. It goes to parties with me.
b. Yes. When it was a pup, I introduced it to cats and dogs, letter carriers, street noise and a variety of people and places, so it's neither fearful nor aggressive as an adult.

11. How much attention do you lavish on your pooch?

a. Some happy medium between 10 minutes and three hours.
b. Whatever I feel like, depending on what my schedule is for the day and whatever it asks for.

12. What would you do if your dog barked all day while you were at work?

a. Buy ear plugs for the neighbors.
b. Solve the root of the problem-boredom, lack of exercise.

13. Would you get a second dog to keep your first dog company to solve a barking problem?

a. Then I'd have two barkers, but I'd love both anyway.
b. If I can't keep one dog from barking, by all means get a second one.

14. What would you do about a dog that chews the furniture when you go visiting?

a. Warn my friends.
b. Train my dog to chew appropriate items, such as chew toys, and it'll be easier to wean it off the sofa.

15. Are you too good to your dog?

a. No, because I believe an overly permissive household creates a dog monster that endangers itself and its people.
b. Are you kidding? Too good to my poochiekoochie baby doggie? What kind of harebrained, do-dissed question is that?

Results of the Quiz

1.  A       2.  A       3.  B       4.  B       5.  A       

6.  B       7.  B       8.  B       9.  B       10. B        

11. A       12. B       13. A       14. B       15. A 

Now to SCORING:
If you scored 11 to 15 right- You're a model dog owner and a fine example to all would-be canine keepers. Your neighbors adore you, and your dog is one lucky hound.

If you scored 6 to 10- Well, you have a little room for improvement in the dog-owning department. If your life is not yet plagued by lawsuits, irksome dog behaviors and certain inescapable household aroma of scent-of-the-beast, it will be presently. Invest in training classes, a veterinarian visit, and a brush. Soon.

If you scored 1 to 5- What can we say? You need to start from scratch, and we're not referring to your solution to fleas. Everyone- this means your neighbors, family, friends, dog and you- will be much happier when the new responsible regimen is in place.

If you scored 0- Time to hand over the keys and credit cards to your dog. Maybe if you ask really nicely, Fuzzy will take care of you.

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