Who: Everlast • Black Crowes • Lenny Kravitz
When I first heard who Lenny was bringing with him to Polaris in Columbus on CD101, my favourite radio station, I knew Tracey would want to come with me to see him. I was right. After careful planning (the night before), it was decided that my parents would drive us, since I had never driven there before. Even though I already had lawn licenses that entitled us to our choice of pavilion or lawn seats, it really looked like Tracey & I would never be able to go to the concert; so many things were working against us. We finally got everything worked out & left my house sometime around 5 pm. We brought along our blankets, I layered on a ton more lipstick than usual, & Tracey actually wore something other than sandals, so we were pretty much set. As we neared Polaris Parkway, we got behind a truck with a couple of guys in the back. They were smoking & staring at us, so my dad was trying to stay as far back from them as possible, so they wouldn't recognize us & attempt to rape us during the concert or something. Tracey & I started talking about who those guys were going to see, & after we figured that out, we began wondering about all of the people around us. We figured that the dude beside us with the dreads & the Lenny shirt was most likely going to see...oh, I don't know...Lenny, but some of the others were hard to determine. We then realized that half of the probably weren't even going to the concert. We were looking for Black Crowes fans, but we weren't sure what the signs of a Crowes fan were, so I said that if we wanted to let people know that we were fans, we would wear big, black, feathery bird costumes. We started to look around for someone matching that description. Since we imagined that it would be pretty hard to drive while dressed like a bird, we decided that we wanted to wear those costumes ourselves & run around the lawn saying, "Caw! Caw!" like the kid in that Coke commercial does. Well, my parents dropped us off at the front gate, & it was freaking freezing. We exchanged our licenses for pavilion seats in row "R", hoping that it would be warmer there than in the lawn. The rather good-looking guy who took our tickets asked if we were excited about the show, & I gave him some generic answer like, "Yes! Terribly!" He had to think that I was beyond excited, though, since the cold had frozen a huge, permanent smile on my face. I hate how the cold does that. We went to the bathroom first & agreed to stay there all night, since it was like 80 degress inside. We finally left & went to our seats. They were on the very right side, but there were still quite delightful, we decided. Tracey & I immediately covered up, & the 30 or 40-ish guy in front of us turned around & asked us a question, but the music made him completely un-understandable, so we just smiled & nodded like we always do. We looked around, trying to catagorize all of our fellow concert-goers. There were the old men with the pot shirts on who were obviously there for the Crowes, the dreaded men who were there for Lenny, & the Abercrombie & Fitch-wearing extremely hot guys who had to have come to brag to their friends that they had seen Everlast in concert. We sat there forever, just watching people & wondering if they thought we were lesbians since we were all convered up together. We should have brought a guy along for good measure, we knew. When Everlast came on, this one crazy guy way up in front jumped up & started dancing around, but everyone else just sat. It was still light out, so he could do no cool lighting effects, & the stage was so clutered with gear that I thought he had to have been feeling really claustrophobic. I adore Everlast's deep, growling voice, but he had no stage presence whatsoever. He just stood there in his yellow shirt & baseball cap & sang. He's lucky that he has talent, because his show was nothing. The guy in front of us had been kind of dancing in his chair earlier, but he turned around & said, "You guys are young. What makes you like this stuff?" I said, "Oh, well, we're not really here to see him." He nodded & said, "Who are you here for?" I explained that I was a Lenny Kravitz fan, so he said, "Yeah!" & gave me high five. Tracey said she was there to see the Black Crowes, so he just kind of ignored her. He sang a little bit of an old Lenny song (I can't remember which one), so I thought he was beyond fabulous at that point. When What It's Like started playing, I promised myself that I wasn't going to be like the other wannabes who only know that one song, but I couldn't help myself. I sang along. (Oh, the horror. The horror.) Since some of our local stations have been playing Ends, one or two people knew that one, too. (CD101 was the first to play it, though, just so you know.) I was excited to hear 7 Years since basically no one knows it if they don't have the album, but CD101 was also the first (& only) station to play it, so I was fully prepared to sing along to it, too. I didn't get to hear it, though, dang it. Everlast left. Some people clapped. The stage was cleared off. The guy in front of us kept having his daughter bring him a beer like every two minutes, but I was too busy marveling at his son's eyes to really notice. The boy was amazing in a really un-amazing way. He was obviously around 20, & he seemed totally disinterested in the concert. He was wearing really...umm...college student-looking clothes & had this great jet black hair. All I really cared about were his eyes, though. Every time he walked in front of us, I made Tracey look at his eyes. They were blue. I mean blue. I adore blue eyes. His were that really icy blue that only extrememly hot guys who I am meant to marry have, & I adored them. OK, sorry about that. Back to the concert. Since I only know about 4 Black Crowes songs, I thought I would be far more interested in my blue-eyed boy, but when Chris, the Crowes' lead singer, came out in neon pink stretch pants & a pink sequined shirt, I prepared myself to love them. It didn't matter what they were singing. I just couldn't stop marveling at Chris' pants. I didn't know any of their first songs, the novelty of the pants was wearing off, & my feet were incredibly cold in my sandals, so I bundled my blanket around me & sat down. The dude in front of us was seriously drunk by that time, & he kept giving the extremely ugly woman in front of him high fives. Tracey wanted to kill the ugly woman. In fact, she wanted to kill a lot of people there, namely, Drunk Guy's wife. She was 5 months pregnant, but she was still drinking & smoking. Ick. Finally, the Crowes got to Jealous Again, the first song of theirs that I knew, so I stood up & umm...shook my money maker? (Hey, kids. The Black Crowes have an album called Shake Your Money Maker. I just made an allusion to it in my concert story. Aren't I clever? You know I am.) Then, they ended with Remedy, so Tracey & I had to sing & dance to that, of course. Their part of the concert just rocked. What stage presence! Chris kept doing all kinds of crazy things with his mic stand, & I just adored them. Fabulous. In between the Crowes & Lenny, Drunk Guy's blue-eyed son came & sat by Drunk Guy, right in front of Tracey & me. Drunk Guy turned around & said, "Hey, I'll give you $100 to give him a backrub. He's kind of cute, isn't he?" We didn't know what to say to that, so we just smiled, but hot damn, I wanted to rub his back. Badly. There was this adorable little boy about 5 seats down from Tracey who was wearing an Everlast shirt, but he was into the other bands, too. He was probably about 8 years old, & he just smiled non-stop. We adored him. Every time he wanted to get by us, he would just stand there, smiling until we noticed him & moved our blankets. Drunk Guy kept trying to make him do weird stuff like play air guitar & look at the stars, & the little boy just did everything the Drunk Guy did with a smile on his face. I loved it. There was also this really gross-looking man who had two chicks with him. We tried to figure out who the chicks were, & since one of them kept grabbing his butt, we figured they were his wife & daughter. I told Tracey that I hope never get to the point that I grab my husband's butt. Well, maybe if he's really hot & we're home alone, but NEVER in public. Finally, Lenny came on. He started out with his new song, Live. I've never really liked that song when I've heard it on CD101, but it was fabulous live. Lenny's cool suit, the lighting...it was all perfect. Tracey & I were hooked at that point, I believe, & it was only the first song. Drunk Guy told someone at one point that he was only there to hear Fly, which really disappointed me. I thought he was a total fan, but it sounded like he only knew a little Lenny. During Let Love Rule, Lenny went into the audience & touched everyone while we all sang. He's obviously eating up his "total rock star" status. At that time, Tracey pointed to the guy with the two chicks hanging on him. He was fondling the girl who we imagined to be his daughter, so we started to think that maybe they weren't related after all. Or maybe they were just a really close family. Lenny left, but we made him come back to do Fly. I have never heard that song sound better. Drunk Guy loved it, of course. The show ended with Always on the Run, which completely rocked. Lenny rocks. The whole concert rocked. We walked to the parking lot to meet my parents, & after looking around for a while, we finally spotted them. As we left the parking lot, there was some completely drunk old guy standing out in the middle of everything screaming obscenities at everyone who drove by. Very amusing. A good night.
Where: Polaris Amphitheater • Columbus, Ohio
When: September 1999